Iām fuckin struggling with this guysā¦
I havent been fired or anything like that. But my boss has become unbarable. I can get along with ANYONE. I always search for the good in people. Ive mentioned before that shes an alcoholic. She drinks at work all the time. The owner doesnt care. I even pushed past that. However one of our new employees quit. She has given a 30 day notice to train her replacement and help us get by. She isnt quitting due to anything at the company. She has a son and his father lives in another state. The court is requiring her to move back to that state to maintain partial custody of her son. My boss texted her, and i QUOTE, āto go fuck herselfā after shed opened up to anoyher co-worker about her struggles who then told our boss. Following that incident she began coming after me. I will be the first person to own my mistakes. However she started throwing a literal fitā¦ āHow are you not done with this yet??ā āWhen i was doing this it got done in a matter of minutesā āIs there a reason you cant figure this out its not that hardā āI am not trying to make you feel bad about yourself, its just not this complicatedā the important detail is what she was asking about is someone elses jobā¦entirely. i am not an accountant and was never even trained in this subjectā¦ what little i do know about the process i picked up on my own or from other coworkers. Ive tried very hard to be understanding, patient, and self sufficient at this job. I was lead to believe this company was a professional establishment that would value me and my hard work. That is NOT the case. Its ao frustrsing. I feel so disappointed. But i also feel like Iām still somehow trapped by this curse of alcohol and toxic behavior that ive worked so hard to get away from. Itās not a healthy environment and now I have to start all over again. I also feel disappointed in myself. Like maybe I should be putting up with this? Maybe Iām over valuing myself? I just dont know. It also sucks because i have some really great co workers that ive built awesome friendships with that Iāll probably never see again. Iām just really struggling but i wake up every morning anxious about what ridiculous toxic dramatic fight im going to have to try to avoid, witness, or be in. I leave work every day miserable and feeling awful about myself and like Iām not enough. I hate giving up. I hate running away. But this is not an environment that is ever going to change and I think its very bad for me.
I just dont know how to feel 
Itās never easy. But like your decision to get sober, thereās a decision for another new chapter. And YOU ARE VALUABLE! Donāt let her problems become yours! Sorry youāre dealing with this. But, maybe itās time. Fear of change usually becomes something greater. But you wonāt know if you keep yourself trapped
I was just ādownsizedā from my ādreamā job. When I got hired in i was excited. Over time, i learned how toxic the owner was, and what a horrible buisness model he was running. The company did need downsized, I was chosen becaues I was due a 2 dollar raise.
I hit the job market and found a job in a field I never imagined I would be inā¦didnt think I would ever enjoy it.
I actually like going to work niw, something I lost a long time ago
Point is: life is to short to be miserable. Job searching is freeā¦why not test the waters
Thank you for saying that. Standing up for myself and taking risks is something im still working on and agressively uncomfortable with. For whatever reason even with how poorly she has treated me im still so terrified about how i tell her im leaving because i have been a people pleaser my entire life and seeing how she reacted to someone leaving for a very sensitive personal reasonā¦ i cant imagine what Iām gonna get and im scared. I left my last job for similar reasons. It was a massive corporation and more subtle toxicity but i feel like a total failure because I thought I did something to be proud of only to end up somewhere worse. I feel like i cant trust my own judgment or like Iām being selfish.
Thank you! I guess Iām just scared. Standing up for myself or being selfish are justā¦not my strong suit
I totally know where youāre coming from. Thatās something youāre going to have to feel and listen within yourself. Just donāt ever become complacent because you feel your value isnāt enough. Youād be very surprised at what youāre capable of when you get through those nerves. Iām definitely on a weird, new path with myself and my new life in sobriety since leaving my bartending job. I took a massive financial blow. But I wouldnāt be here in my sobriety if I didnāt. Iām adjusting. I just know itās where I need to be at this moment. Just make sure you have a job lined up first if you do tell her lol. Lord knows what the loose canon will fire up lol
Oh yeah no for sure lol
I actually did a phone interview today and i feel like thats what made me panic more. Likeā¦ oh wow ok this is real. Im doing this. Then i had to think logically about what that means when I leave. Im also just a little hyper sensitive right now bcause i have a kidney infection and Iām in SO much pain and Iām just not stoked on life rn lol
Youāll get peace, thatās what 
Even if you have to finish off your time there, you wonāt ever have to deal with her again afterwards. Just keep thinking about that. You deserve to be somewhere youāre appreciated 
Urghhhhh toxic managers.
They can really tear your down. I would say get away from that ASAP
Thank you 
Thank you š«¶š»
I had an interview that went really well! So Iām very hopeful!