Delete post to delete account. Delete post.
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Welcome DBMrs3. I’m proud of you for getting back on the wagon.
I highly recommend checking in daily to keep focus in the checking daily to maintain focus thread.
I also recommend finding some activities to fill time like, running, cycling, working out, meditation/mindfulness, crafts, drawing, reading etc.
Mindfulness is also great of letting go of past shame and guilt since it teaches you to let your thoughts pass without giving them any attention.
This is a weird suggestion, but I recommend giving your addiction a name. Sobriety became easier for me once I named my addiction Brutus. It is no longer an enemy hiding in the shadows now, but now I know my enemy and now I can fight it better.
I also recommend reading on this forum a lot on this forum and asking questions if you have any.
You can make sobriety a lot easier. It’s really hard to think about staying sober for the rest of my life. If I think, do I want to stay sober for the rest of my life? I think hell no. But I can and want to stay sober for today. The next day, I also think I can stay sober for today. and so on.
Don’t think about not using for life but think about not using today. Do that every day, and it gets way easier. If you are very deep in the shit, you can even think, I’ll stay sober the next 5 minutes.
Don’t listen to your mind, your mind will not stop being a dick, it will be a dick less and less, but it will never fully stop being a dick.
If you have cravings, just play the tape. By that I mean, pretend that you abuse again, then try foreseeing the future. Will it be all butterflies and roses, because you feel so awesome when relapsing, or will it be shame, self-disgust and disappointment you feel.
When your mind tells you that you can use once, that’s bullshit, the biggest bullshit ever. Your addiction just tries to find a way to get satisfied.
I also recommend following the twelve step-program with a sponsor.
I hope this helps
Good luck, you’ve got this. 
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I don’t have any advice as I too am in your same shoes. I’m on day 4 and it’s tough. I’m thinking of wanting a drink but then I think, nothing changes if nothing changes. So I won’t drink, because I want to not be filled with anxiety anymore. I want to be free of thinking about my next drink. I don’t want to have aches and pains anymore. I want to be present and feel life. I want to acknowledge myself and my needs not push them deep down inside and drown them in alcohol. That’s not loving myself but ignoring myself. These are the reasons I won’t drink today. And I will repeat them tomorrow for as long as I have to. Life is beautiful if you let it me. Breathe in and exhale, until the urge to drink passes. Have some candy or chips, that’s what I do lol and sure enough the urge passes. Hopefully i can keep doing this and things get easier and the days go by. Sending love your way.
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I think everyone has fallen into the “just one” trap, at least once. I know I have.
I also think many in early sobriety have trouble accepting the concept of “FOREVER”: “I know I should quit drinking, but forever?”
I can tell you that my moment of clarity came when I realized that all I had to do to stay sober was to say “no” to one drink…the drink that matters…the first drink, and I had to do this forever. I not only had to accept this truth, I had to embrace it.
And when I did, I became truly free. The only thing I gave up were chains that held me in bondage to alcohol. Only I could shed those chains. Only I can put them back on.
Now, I won’t drink, because I don’t drink. I am a non-drinker, free…forever.
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Have you tried any programs? It sounds like you need a community of non drinkers that will support you and show you more ways you can achieve long term sobriety. There’s plenty of online options.
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So back you are to day 1! As long as we don’t give up and keep fighting nothing is lost. Be proud of being honest to yourself. This is a big step to be totally honest with yourself and others. Like the others have told you before me already you need to just think of today. Today I am staying sober because… Then list the things either in your head or on paper why you want to stay sober. Write down your feelings how you feel with the worst hangover etc… What I realized after so many fall downs that I need to work on my sobriety every single day. I don’t take being sober for granted anymore. Maybe try meetings? The 30 day alcohol experiment from Annie grace? Take it one day at a time. That’s what I have learned. And as soon as you get cravings talk or write to someone that understands this. This is exactly what brought many day 1s to me when I gave into my cravings not having talked to someone. Talking to someone while craving definitely helps not to give in. Keep fighting. Head up. You can make it 
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Consider yourself lucky, the last time i gave myself a “break” from sobriety it resulted in a 2 year very heavy daily binge. You know you can’t control it, it controls you. Now that I realise and have come to grips with the fact that I’m powerless against alcohol and it WILL kill me it’s easier. My choice is black and white, no grey areas anymore.
I suggest meetings, sobriety podcasts, exercise, having sober friends… whatever you gotta do to keep that streak going one more day.
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Thank you! It does help.
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I hear you! Thank u guys.
I’m glad you’re here!
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Look at you go… @anon35096624… Keep up the good work. That’s one alcoholic helping another. Nice post 
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First off, don’t beat yourself up. A lot of us have been there, myself included. I took a 35 day break that started towards the end of February. I was so proud of how far I made it that I thought I would celebrate. Fast forward 2.5 months later, I had fallen back into the habit of drinking most nights and then I ended up partying hard until 4am on a work night. I called out sick and felt so ashamed of myself that I got on this app and made the decision to stay sober forever. …now that you’ve had this experience, you can grow from it and remind yourself that just a break isn’t really just a break. It’s the start of a snow ball effect leading to nowhere good. You got this and I believe in you!
Thank you!! I’ve learned so much since being on this app thanks to all of you wonderful people 
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Love this! To give the addiction a name…Brutus is perfect!
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That is what it’s all about. We are all here to help support each other. Strength in numbers.
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