Recent demise of my grandmother made me lose all.my motivation and ambition, relapsed on alcohol and cigarettes, 20 and 45 days of respective sobriety, all flushed down the drain, maybe I am being too harsh on myself. Either ways I believe its getting up that matters. Going to day one sucks, affects my emotional well being and confidence. But I am now focused. What’s your relapse story? How did you overcome this seemingly hard disappointment?
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Which time? The time I relapsed because I thought I could moderate. The time that I got mad at the guy I was dating. The time that my grandmother died. The time that I thought I could just keep it to the weekends. Oh the list goes on and on. My rock bottom was when I ran out of excuses I think. I got my spiritual awakening, I think when I read stories of loved ones writing about their loss- death, sadness, horror stories. All with a common theme- alcohol. Then I wrote my own sad bio. I read all of those when I felt weak and sometimes still do. 
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I just kept going until I found myself in the position of learning all the lessons I need to keep me sober today. Tommorow I may drink and realise I’ve not learnt enough yet and then I will try again, wiser and more prepared. Enjoy your journey, this is you growing. 
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That’s a wonderful idea. I replay my own relapse constantly in my head. Especially on bad days. I keep telling myself that I am not that woman anymore and she’s not welcome back in my life! It must be working out for me so far as I’m on day 159…yippee
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The last time I relapsed, afterwards I mainly felt anger rather than remorse…
I was really angry that I had allowed the situation to get me to drink when I knew better and knew it wasn’t what I want. It didn’t help the situation or change it.
I was annoyed.
There’s always going to be crap in life. That’s life. We can face it with more strength without the drink. It’s a case of realising that and following thru on it.
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159 is AWESOME 
our own story can be a powerful one. I agree that the past woman should stay there… In the past 
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I relapsed after 5 years sober, it made me sad and angry as well. But I also learned something: I can’t have just one.
I user my anger towards myself as a power to beat my addiction. I said to myself: I never want to feel this way again ever. I write down how sad and angry I felt on paper so I could not forget.
Day one started and I was here to work on my recovery every day since. I’m more then 2 years sober now with the help of this app.
Give it your all and use your relapse as a learning experience: never again!!
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today feel lucky i havnt relapsed. not a brag just saying that it is possible to have continues sobriety without relapsing, but should learn from your mistakes and try again but a different mind set wish you well
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Well, relapsing is serious, so I dont think we can be “to hard” on our selves. However, getting back up and getting sober is the best thing. For me, I came to a point where drinking simply could not be an option.
For me, getting sober was about re-learning how to live. How to have fun, be angry, be sad, grieve, celebrate without drinking. The first step for me, not picking up that first drink, no matter what happened.
You deserve a sober life. Learn from this and move on. Life will throw things at you, that is life. The longer you stay sober, the easier it is to weather lifes storm.
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@Rgrkd I can’t add anything better than hasn’t already been said. There is a bucket load of wisdom in these responses.
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Much like @Ravikamor when I finally ran out of excuses is when I looked at my problem for what it was…a serious destructive problem.
I couldn’t even give you a solid number on how many relapses I’ve had over the last six years…all I know is that there were too many, and I decided I didn’t want anymore. Like you I beat myself up over all of them, but that self abuse is counter-productive in my opinion, and honestly…I think it motivates folks to fall back on the “comfortable” yet destructive behaviors.
Instead of beating yourself up…look inward and ask yourself what could I have done differently…losing someone is gut wrenching, but drinking doesn’t change the reality of the situation…it only complicates the matter and leaves you hurting even more. It’s hard to sit with emotions…I never was good at it, and quite frankly I’m still trying to figure that out.
The bottom line is you want to too help yourself…if you didn’t you wouldn’t be here talking to us, and I commend you for your courage to face yourself. This road isn’t easy, and sure isn’t perfect, but as long as we get up, learn and keep fighting we haven’t failed!
Never stop fighting for you…you are worth fighting for.
I am sorry for your loss…it’s now time to honor yourself and your loved ones, both present and those in spirit. They love you and surround you…always.
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