I have done it again, I’m back to my first five minutes. Relapses have become my second nature, I cannot continue to do this. April 22 was the one year mark of my soul mate and son’s father passing away. It’s been a rough week. I don’t know what to do anymore, I’m tired of being tired.
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Glad you’re back with us 
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Hang in there and hang around here. If you are stuck in a loop you will have to do something to get yourself out of the loop. Try something different this time around. Try a meeting, add in some quit lit or vary your routine to avoid temptation. Make it your goal to go to bed sober tonight, hit that goal and then try again tomorrow.
I’m sorry for your loss. Let that sorrow guide you instead of trying to drown it.
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Good luck to you my friend I hope you keep coming back so that you can have the light that you deserve and won’t be tired one day at a time you got this you’ve done it before