Sitting here at work nearing being off. Every Tuesday I cook dinner for my step father , boyfriend, & ailing mom. The thought of having a Bev popped in my mind, as it seemed to be a ritual and the drinks make it somewhat easier to keep going through the evening and lessen the feelings of hurt from seeing my mom the way she is.
Taking to here because I don’t want to give in. I don’t get how one moment I can be so adamant and motivated to not drink and the next a simple thought can bring me down a rabbit hole.
Just a thought … get yourself a non-alcoholic drink whatever is your favorite. Pour it in a glass with ice and enjoy while you are cooking. I myself love to cook and prepare healthy meals for those who are hungry… I even covered this personal trait in therapy. Try to keep in mind these folks are your family and enjoy their company. Sorry Mom is ill but by being sober I am sure your times with her can be more special than if you drink…
I pray you have a wonderful time and you will feel so much better not having a drink.
Yes a nice NA Bev , they have the fridge stocked with NA drinks for me. Very supportive.
I agree, my time with her is not as valuable when I am drunk and it does make me feel bad when I don’t remember all of our time or was being sloppy around her.
Will remind myself of that. I do want to live for her and live the best I can.
Also the craving will pass, once you get started cooking the cravings will have passed. They may return and again they will pass.
It’s so good you reached out for support
100% what it is…a ritual. We humans are ritualistic in all we do. Replace a drink with a new healthier ritual.
For example, my ritual of success was a celebration of alcohol…something good happened…out to the bar I would go. I changed up my success ritual. Now when i want to celebrate, i cook a huge meal for my loved ones.
I can relate. Cared for each of my parents in their last days. I think it shows great reverence and respect not to be drinking. Yes, it would be good to spend time thinking of new rituals. You deserve this. Now that you won’t be punished by alcohol any longer this respect extends to you. What good thing will you do for a ritual? It’s sacred, so it can be elaborate or simple. I have a nice soaking tub and spend a lot of time in my spa area with different teas for different types of days. I have specific candles and incense I burn. I add to the ritual over time. It is grounding and I can’t really imagine my life without this ritual now. Just like alcohol was, once. I don’t think of it as a reward or treat anymore but something I wish I never touched! Takes time.
Last night I had some sparkling water and cooked up a delicious dinner and chatted with my family members about the day.
Trying to create a new ritual of coming back home doing skin care and listening to meditation music to calm me before bed.
Alcohol was always bad news for me but got worse when my dad passed suddenly in 2021. I then moved home to take care of my mom and be close to her which pushed the addiction into an even worse place.
It’s comforting to speak up and have other people who relate . Thank you
Its crazy how little rituals like skin care helps. Another I had was that on the monthly anniversary of being sober I went to a beard barber. The money I saved from not drinking more than paid for it.
Involving self care into our sobriety is huge mentally. Self care, for most of us, didnt exist prior to sobriety.
