It seems like most of the time, loving and forgiving yourself is critical when you’re kicking an awful habit. I find I have to love myself a LOT to not allow myself my DOC. At the same time, I hate myself for letting addiction run my mind and thoughts, and hate myself terribly when I have slips and relapses. I don’t see how to balance this.
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I think, for me anyway, it comes down to forgiving myself for my slips/relapses. Giving ourselves some grace and not being so hard on ourselves. We have the disease of addiction. We never asked to be given this. For most of us Id imagine, we were escaping or numbing ourselves from something. But we never wanted our lives to be controlled by such harmful substances. I know that when i started using drugs at 15, I didnt know any other way to cope, so I did the best that I coud with the knowledge I had. But now we know differently 
Be patient with urself and keep at it. Hating ourselves is what our addiction wants. It wants us to feel miserable so that we keep using. Counteract that with self love, kindness, and compassion
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i don’t see how self-hate is productive at all
Thank you for replying. When I look at things in the light I did when typing this, I forget about the idea of grace. When I step back and look at my day at large (yesterday), I’m actually quite happy with the things I got done and the man I was. Granted, I am disgusted w/ how my relapse went… I regret the time wasted and am very disappointed in how the time lost affected my day. Even still, I’m pretty good with the day at large. I made a mistake. Grace.
Thank you very much for your reply
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