Its starting to wreck my relationship. My family relationships. Starting to harm myself. Broke a mirror in my house with my hand last weekend , really hurt myself and decided that is it. Will end up losing my girlfriend if it carries on and then i will be screwed. It cant carry on. I can do without it mostly in the weekdays but once i start i find it near impossible to stop. And lately ive even ended up drinking in the mornings etc.
Have a holiday booked in novemeber with my gf. Aiming to not touch a drop until then when i can actually enjoy it. My physical and mental health are suffering massively and only now have i admitted to myself its a problem.
Was wondering if you guys had any tips to help. My girlfriends offered to stay sober too to help. Was thinking go on walks. Drive to new places as i will be sober enough to drive. And try find a new hobby. Ive been saying to go to the gym for ages and i feel maybe when i feel the benefits of not drinking i will actually go and not make excuses. Any chat would be appreciated. Thank you
So your planning on going back to drinking after a while of being sober…so you can fix everything and then ruin it all again? Do you really think things will be any different when u go back to it? You cant control it
I want to at least try to control it eventually. Ive been pretty much okay for many years. Overdrinking yes but not causing any major issues. but in the last year its just got progressively worse which is why im seeking guidance etc. 5 months would be a big thing for me just focusing on that for now. I get what youre saying though. I guess time will tell. Just trying to come to terms with things rather than ignore and carry on. Its no longer even an option
How ever you wana label things alcoholism is a progressive illness…it gets worse over time, i know mine did, obviously we are all different so i can only talk from my own experience but for me it crept in more and more similar to how you already described, i absolutely commend you for admitting you have a problem and trying to do something about it but you will find many threads on here about peoples attempts to moderate, i think its actually harder than just quitting
Hi there!
I’m glad you’re acknowledging that alcohol is becoming a problem, that’s definitely the first step. I remember trying that approach for a few years: quitting for a few weeks and once I forgot about the killer hangovers and all the people I might have hurt while drunk, I would go back again thinking “this time will be different, I will just have one and that’s it, I won’t let alcohol control me” but the reality (at least for me) it’s that I was a slaved of alcohol. It did control me, I was never in control. Now I know the only way to control alcohol is just not having any. It was a hard realization because all my friends and relatives drink, every party- even children’s birthday parties- revolve around alcohol so yes, it’s been difficult but I know I am an alcoholic and unfortunately I have no control when it comes to alcohol. Maybe it can be different for you but if you are already binge drinking and your drinking is out of control, might be best to quit altogether before it causes more damage to your health and your relationships
One day at a time. I think it’s great your gf wants to be sober with you. Go for it! Enjoy all of the many benefits you will start to see as alcohol leaves your body and starts to heal. One suggestion. . . Read Annie Grace’s This Naked Mind. Se even has a 30-day challenge online that has been helpful for many.
Hey there! Welcome to the forum. If you take a look around here and search on the word “moderation” or any phrase that means “back to drinking,” you’ll find all the same endings. If you are at this point now, there is no reason to believe it will ever miraculously solve itself. It’s a hard thing to accept. I am 54 years old, back on Day 5, been trying to stay 100% sober for at least a decade. It gets harder to string together days EVERY.SINGLE.TIME.
So, let’s not even look at the vacation ahead, just today and focusing on getting your sober head onto the pillow at the end of it. Rinse and repeat, every single day.
I second Annie Grace and find anything and everything you can find on the truth about alcohol.
I get what youre saying. This is why i came on here really as i can often tell myself what i want to hear. Hopefully i can get a hold of it. Trying to be sober for this period of time is at least something. Thank you for your reply
Thanks for the reply. I relate to a hell of a lot of what you are saying. I guess certain people are different and have different triggers and habits. Like for me not having a drink midweek doesent really bother me. But i think thats only because i know that the weekend is coming. Then its like the horse is out of the gate. Im hoping that when i get myself together after this period i can have a better relationship with drink. Because my tolerance will be lower and i will feel healthier so i wont want to abuse my body like i have been. I hope so i guess only time will tell. Since i was like 15 ive been drinking pretty heavy every weekend and im now nearly 25. So is suppose ive never even tried to have a break all that time. And this is the progressive result. So i guess going sober for this period is a start of something at least. And I can go from there and maybe I’ll learn its something i can never control. But im just taking this as the first step. Thanks again for the reply.
Please know that my words are always said out of love and compassion, i agree fully about taking things one day at a time though for now and to not look to far ahead i just want you to be mindful that it may be something that you cant ever control, we are all here for you on here wenever you need to vent, we all do this together
I agree, I’m glad you are working on making a change. Hopefully you’ll feel much better mentally and physically after being sober for a while that you will choose to stop poisoning your body
I wish you the best in your journey, this community has helped me a lot in mine so never hesitate to reach out !
Probably a poor choice of words on my part didnt mean to trigger anyone with the mention of holiday etc. Just sort of wanted to put my personal experience out there as it is right now. But this is why i came on here i guess as people will tell your their truth also and it isnt always what you want to hear but what you need to hear. you are right if im like this at 24 it isnt going to go away. Im hoping i can get a hold on it after having a break after all these years of abuse. But time will tell I guess. At least i can take this as a start. I have to really, cant lose my girlfriend through drinking and thats what will happen if i dont least make an attempt. Thank you for the reply
Welcome George . I’ve personally tried the quit for a while to reset my drinking habits… didn’t work for me. Here’s what I can suggest to you.
Don’t have a plan to drink on a specific date. You will not gain much by white knuckling it until date x and then drinking. Instead focus on today, why you wish to be sober and do something healthy that makes you feel good. Best wishes
. I’ve personally tried the quit for a while to reset my drinking habits… didn’t work for me. Here’s what I can suggest to you.