Last day drinkin my lady of 8 years left me yesterday… sigh… tomorrow is gonna hurt.
I noticed this is a pattern. Joined the forum after a bender. Stay a couple days, post a few comments, disappear, return with another “been on a bender” post.
So I ask, what are you prepared to do? How will you break this pattern? You’ve paid the price of having someone leave you, so how much more are you willing to pay before you would be willing to do anything, try anything to achieve and maintain sobriety?
Welcome to the forum. I hope you will stay and share your journey with us.
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@Yoda-Stevie has wise words, if nothing changes then nothing will change. What are you going to do to get sober?
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I’m looking for advice. I keep coming up with excuses to drink… maybe aa? I have crippling panic attacks so aa is tough for me. I’m in such a vicious cycle. What do you think a good first step is
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AA has helped me stay sober for 80 days and counting. There is a lot of understanding about newcomers having anxiety generally and especially about going to a meeting. It’s worth a try. Best wishes 
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Start by getting ALL alcohol out of your house. And you have to come clean to everyone you know… friends, family, etc. And you will have to distance yourself from your drinking buddies, at least.fir a while. Anyone that truly loves you and/or is truly your friend will support you 100% and help you stay sober. Start today.
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My advice: give AA or SMART a try. I say this as someone who’s managed over a year without going to meetings, but who will go, if I ever drink again.
Also, live on this forum for a bit. Might be coincidental, but those who are the most active here, tend to have the most solid sobriety.
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Smart do online meetings so no pressure to leave the house, it’s worth looking into. Doing a CBT might help too, common psychological withdrawal from alcohol is depression and anxiety, it will get worse before it gets better and the first two weeks can be the worst part, get past that and it’s easier to recognise what you’re body is going through
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Mate, stop making excuses to drink. I think we all did that. I’ve had a bad day, I’ve had a good day whatever. If you want to do this there is never an excuse.
Stay away from temptation as well.
Good luck with your journey!
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If nothing else, do this. This has become my social media outlet basically, which is why I partake in many of the shenanigans.
What’s worse, crippling panic attacks or dying each day because you can’t stop drinking? Give AA a shot, nothing to lose and everything to gain.
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Controversy Alert: Flag if you wish.
@anon12657779 is right. You’re making all the right noises about getting sober but making excuses to get drunk. You post that you’ve “Been on a Bender” which in itself doesn’t show the same remorse as “I relapsed” so I would immediately question the sincerity in your commitment to sober up. Your missus has just left you and the only place to go was where…? To the pub? Yeah, I did that a few times aswell.
At the risk of sounding holier-than-thou, I really think that until you’re totally committed to sobriety, the excuses you will make to yourself will just keep on rolling in - till then, you just aren’t ready to quit. There’s a wealth of experience here who will happily be supportive through the first month (usually the roughest). So my advice seeing as you asked: Start to take your sobriety seriously and when you do, make a plan. And when you make a plan, stick to it. My inbox is always open.
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I would hope that no one flags this post. This is the kind of truth that gets people sober.
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Thankyou, Derek.
I’ve heard the question phrased as ‘Are you done?’
So I ask, what are you prepared to do?
Same question. I had a wicked bad habit, early on, of bemoaning my fate and my fear of it, in search of someone to absolve me of responsibility. On the flip side, every time I made an extra effort (like showing up to work on time and staying the full 8 hours, lol), I had to talk about it and hoped for a pat on the back for my extraordinary effort.
And while we’re all opining here, I notice the O.P. hasn’t been back. I hope you can receive these words in the spirit of love and desire to share our own experiences that they are offered, @Sean2.
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When I ended up back in rehab for the second time in 6 months my counselor asked me what the fuck I was doing back lol. He said that I had all the knowledge so clearly I fucked up somewhere. I will always remember what he did for me by saying that. He didn’t sugar coat it, or give me a chance to make excuses.
V true. I would have stayed sober after rehab number 1. Instead of going 3 times.
I wasn’t willing to do the work. That was always my problem
Not willing or not ready? I came back to England willing to get sober twice before coming back a third time actually ready to do it. The two times I went back to CZ, I pretty much (albeit unknowlingly) planned to continue the drinking and drug use as per the schedule. Shit, the night I arrived I dropped my bags and went straight to my favourite bar - if ever there was a sign, that should’ve been it.
I don’t know if you agree that you need to be ready to quit before you do it. Im of the mind that without being ready, trying to quit is pointless.
I wanted it, I just didn’t want to put in the work. I call it not willing, but I guess it doesn’t matter bc in the end I didn’t put in the work and then I relapsed
Seem to be doing great now bud.
I would agree. I wanted to quit long before I was ready to quit. It’s a difference between “head and heart”.
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