You know, this whole thing you call staying sober is so simple yet so hard!!! Fuck!!! I just want to yell that out of the top of my lungs!!! This shit is soooo tiring!!! Yet so freakn rewarding!! I want to be sober more than anything. The “normies” make it seem so easy/fun. They Just drink have a good time do dumb shit but nobody gives you shit becuz well your not an alcoholic.
Anyways, I guess I am one of the lucky ones. So it is day 7 for me. Here is a recap:
Relapsed, went to hospital, went to rehab for a month, got out and after 2 weeks of being out I relapsed.
went to the hospital again. Than started all over than RELAPSED.
Got some time under my belt, than fuckn relapsed. Got kicked out of my in laws, which lead to me now for sure being a single mom.
got kicked out of my moms.
Got assaulted while being out there probably trying to get more alcohol because that’s the only way I know how to cope. Went to the hospital for that, got out than my mom was able to open her doors for me again. I have 6 bucks to my name, and probably like a backpack full of my stuff because everything is at my in laws and its just a shit show to talk to my now ex to be able to get everything back. Nobody really wants to talk to me, I feel like the black sheep of the family.
This disease is Freakn ridiculous!!!
My mom finally took me to an in person AA and that was day one of my journey with the program. This was on the 24th of August, and so far I’ve gone to AA every single day. I got an app that I log in to and I get on a meeting through ZOOM.
SO with all of that being said, I am still alive which means God is Not done with me yet. My purpose here on earth is not yet fulfilled.
Hard?? Fuck YES.
Worth It??? MotherFucking YES!!!
My sobriety is now my priority.
I still have some fight left in me.
Thats lovely my friend - hell yeah to working on your shit and getting 7 days of sobriety under your belt. Keep at it and keep racking up the days - working on yourself and building a sober lifestyle. We can’t expect others to forgive us for all stupid drunken shit we’ve pulled but hopefully with staying on the sober path our actions can speak volumes and maybe in the future mend relations.
right now - you need to do this for you and only you. this is an amazing community so welcome back to a wonderful online support system.
Hell to the fuckin yeah! Keep the fight alive and keep showing up for yourself.
Hi, I listen to the zoom meetings too here and there. It’s great they are on all the time.
It’s much more than your choice of beverage and just stopping drinking. Addictions do something for us. We don’t keep going back for no reason. Whenever there’s a craving, ask yourself what you really want. What does this craving mean?
What are you really craving?
Alcohol is a chemical that “bonds” with your brain. It mimics social connection in a way. We humans are hard wired to want connection and in a strange way, your biology can drive you to drink too. And it takes great energy to override your physiology.
Check out Gabor Mate on YouTube. He’s a doctor that works with addicts in Canada and has a great perspective on it.
Thank you for posting this and congrats on your 7 days! It just reminded me how in the beginning I couldn’t see how anything could be fun without drinking. Today I am so grateful I don’t need to drink to be good. And things are still fun. More so, I’d even say. Keep it up
God is certainly not done with you yet! You are worth fighting for and so are your kid/s and your sobriety. That’s great that you have been attending AA and it is helping you. I attended my first meeting yesterday (Melbourne, Australia) and everyone was so welcoming and although I am a little nervous about ‘sharing’, I will do so after another meeting or so. It was great hearing about the path that others are on though.
That must have been hard to keep going into hospital and rehab. I have had uncontrollable drinking for 20 years, but the hardest drinking has been in the last few years - driven by anxiety and depression, leading to total self-neglect in almost all areas of life BUT I successfully completed a 13 day residential/medically supervised detox and I haven’t looked back, today is 25 days sober for me. I commend you on keeping on trying, I have wanted to quit for years but I always fell back into the same old patterns. Now I take it day by day and set little challenges for myself (not only alcohol-related) so I feel like I have achieved something positive and it helps me feel better.
I wish you all the best for your journey and you are STRONG ENOUGH to get through it, I just know it!!
My mum phoned AA for me god bless her and she went with me to meet a guy who was in AA and i never looked back that was on the 15th sept 1986 still sober
Thank you for your post. I listened to Gabor Mate on my first day. Incredible helpful. I am on day 8 and enjoying the ride. No blistering hangovers to make me feel lower than scum. No worries about driving drunk - huge relief. I’m hanging in there, ODAAT.
Thank You all for your replies!!
Every time I am back on this forum I am always so excited for reading, posting, and all of the wonderful replies and resources that I receive, from complete strangers!!! You guys are amazing!! Stay blessed!!
Welcome back @Gonzolady, you were missed. It’s good to see you back on the sober playing field, learning the game with the rest of us
It’s hard and heartbreaking to see relationships fall apart as a result of our addict behaviour. The good news is we can stop that behaviour, and replace it with more constructive behaviour, and you are taking steps to do that now.
You’re a good person, a good mother, a good human, and a good daughter. I promise you are. You are battling an addiction which is cunning and powerful. You cannot battle it alone; with help, and with effort, you can eliminate its power over you.
Don’t give up. It’s just today, just these 24 hours.
Congrats on coming back. Rarely, if ever, does sobriety work alone.
I don’t recall when the thoughts of looking for the next drinking occasion stopped, but it is the result of habit. I’ve started delving into the science and psychology behind alcoholism, and it is possible to rewire our brain. I used to despise the phrase, fake it till you make it. But now I understand that the reality is if you do it long enough, it will become your new norm.
I just logged 21 months of continuous sobriety with no more cravings or thoughts of drinking.
Get off that wheel to nowhere and come with us on the road to real living.
THANK YOU ALL FOR TAKING THE TIME TO REPLY TO MY POST IT REALLY MEANS THE WORLD TO ME.
IT GIVES ME SO MUCH STRENGTH, I AM ON DAY 11 NOW AND I AM STAYING STRONG EVEN WHEN CERTAIN THINGS ARE GOING ON.
YEAH WHEN IT RAINS IT POURS, BILLS START PILING UP, PEOPLE GASLIGHTING AND MAKING FUN OF ME AND OR JUST LOOKING DOWN ON ME. WHATEVER.
WHATEVER. I CAN NOT GIVE AWAY MY PEACE.
GOD IS GOOD NO MATTER WHAT.
I CAN.
I WILL.
I MUST.
THIS SHIT IS HARD BUT I KNOW GOD IS WITH ME AND ALSO ALL OF YOU.
I AM NOT ALONE.
THANK YOU GUYS.
STAY BLESSED, TODAY JUST FOR TODAY, I DIDNT DRINK.
I SURE DID CRY A LOT AND YELLED INTO MY PILLOW A COUPLE TIMES THOUGH.
!
BUT I successfully completed a 13 day residential/medically supervised detox and I haven’t looked back, today is 25 days sober for me. I commend you on keeping on trying, I have wanted to quit for years but I always fell back into the same old patterns. Now I take it day by day and set little challenges for myself (not only alcohol-related) so I feel like I have achieved something positive and it helps me feel better.
