This morning I am proud of myself! I am on a business trip where my coworkers are all drinkers, a few heavy drinkers. Yesterday was my day 6 and damn it I wanted to partake in the fun. As the day progressed I watched my coworkers get more and more intoxicated and it dawned on me, I’m so glad I’m not drinking. One particular coworker is going through some emotional upheaval and just started spewing her life story to ever which person. The other was acting like a typical frat boy, come on Souz drink with us, you’re not apart of the team if you don’t have a drink, etc. Which, by the way was fucking HARD to say no to because I’ve always been the one to never turn down a challenge. It was a really challenging day. I had to part ways a few times to go and breathe, pull up this app, smoke a cigarette, and text my boyfriend for support. I took an anti anxiety pill to help me from crawling out of my skin which is a short term solution to the unbearable anxiousness I feel when around alcohol or when I’m stressed or when my brain is on hyper drive. I realized yesterday that I am on the right track to going through and dealing with my own emotional upheaval that I have been dodging with alcohol and drugs. Today, I am proud of myself!
A big shout out to this forum too. It really helps me to come one here and read and write this stuff down and not just carry it all inside. Happy Thursday!
Thank you! It felt amazing sticking to my guns. Usually I would have accepted and then felt that unnerving guilt this morning. Not feeling guilt is something that I’m finding to be an amazing feeling. I feel like thats something that would be obvious but right now I’m loving it!
This gives me faith I can do it. I’m in 10 days and Saturday is a big party for my husband’s work. Open bar, formal dinner, and a free hotel room. Well, I’ve already made the decision to NOT drink and bring a book and enjoy some quiet time in the hotel room. But even thinking about being around it makes me feel so anxious. I told my husband it’s like bringing you to your favorite buffet and saying sit right there, you can’t eat. But you can watch everyone else eat. I’m So worked up about it and the day isn’t even here. You post makes me think I CAN do this. So thank you @Souz I can’t wait to wake up on Sunday and feel proud of myself too. You should be damn proud of yourself!!
I’ve got 30 days in as of 10:00 PM, so I got the Serenity Prayer tattooed on my fore arm. This way if the thought crosses my mind, I can just look at my arm. I must say though, no really hard thoughts of alcohol feelings so far
