Being young and struggling

Man im in a state of total confusion and frustration at the minute. Struggling with life and finding it hard to be motivated for anything. The only thing ive kept doing is attending regular meetings which i love doing. But being 22 in rooms where everyone is 20 years older than me is actually something i struggle alot with. Im have a serious fear of people too. I try to reach out but fear keeps holding me back. Not just in AA but in life too. Been afraid of people my entire life and its not getting any easier. My friends in AA just dont seem to want to talk to me anymore and ive jo idea why. Probably because im such a miserable cunt all the time.

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Are there alot of AA mtgs in ur area to try? I was 21 years old when i walked into my first 12 step mtg and i found that AA (as opposed to CA or NA) did have some older folk and it was initally very intimidating. But in all honesty, im sure they are sooo grateful that ur there trying to get help at 22 instead of waiting until much later in life. Maybe there are other AA mtgs in ur area tho that have a younger crowd. Im not sure. But i know that there were some mtgs that had people around my age when i was attending many years ago. Thought maybe that would be the same for u.

Also another way to look at it is that those mtgs that have older folk, some of them have some serious sobriety and can actually be very beneficial to your recovery. Listening to what they have to say and potentially having someone like that for a sponsor can be great to have!

If u think ur attitude is the cause of why ur AA friends arent talking to u anymore, u could always try asking them if thats whats wrong or even try a more positve outlook and see if that helps :slight_smile: ask them for a coffee after the mtg or whatnot. I totally get that going to mtgs can be hard when people are distant.

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I totally get the age difference thing.
First of all it’s soo good to change now rather than waiting 10, 20 years before starting this journey because and that is from my own small town experience in Germany the age difference will stay. I am in my 40s and where I lived I have been mostly the youngest I by then moved and found a meeting where people where 20 to 40! years older. I am still struggling with this. Yet, I found a group I like and go there by train once a month. It’s my home group so to say. Then, just before I moved to the new city they opened a group of younger people where I was the old one :crazy_face: the thing was that me with my 3.5 years of sobriety back then was the one with the longest time sober. So, to resume, the best thing is a good mixture as without the Oldtimers a group can also easily fall apart (happened to the younger group due to many many relapses) and you still need someone to identify with for where you are in your life right now which is probably not retirement or when can I finally retire.
Don’t give up. You will finally find a group you feel you fit in (maybe even despite age differences). :upside_down_face:

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Are there other groups you could try. Zoom meetings might help fill in some gaps as well. You are young, and I admire the piss out of your courage. I drank until 45. Lots of waste and rough bottoms. Younger generations are more open to sober curious.

Its a lot better to sober up when you are young than when life has already passed you by…Have you sought professional help for mental and emotional health?

It was the same way in the meetings I went to. I wasn’t early 20s at the time, but usually the youngest who was there voluntarily. There were a couple people around your age there off and on and I have a strong hunch they were court ordered. Didn’t really say anything, got their cards signed, and left.

I was fine with the situation, personally. Felt like I could gain some wisdom from people in the group. One older guy said he’d been going to AA meetings pretty much every day for 40 years and was 40 years sober. I wish I had a fraction of his dedication to sobriety and stuck with it.

The anger in your ora that surrounds you is An Issue that I had to deal with when I first got Sober. I was your age when I started in this program back in 1991. I thought anger was a good thing it Held. people at bay. But eventually it subsided and I replaced it with Patience tolerance in love. Compassion and understanding… The problem with holding people at bay is you never are able to reach out to anyone because you’re not reachable… You have to take the walls down And be open-minded. Our souls get stale if we don’t let the water out so that we can refresh our souls with new water… if youe damn water up long enough and it will get stale and start to stink .

I was introduced into this program in 1988. Apparently at that time I do not understand the old timmer either you know. I thought that they were full of it basically. My sponsor always told me when the pain becomes greater than the solution you will seek to easier softer away which is the solution… it finally took jail from my wake up call.

I was 20 years old At the time. I was full of hate resentment discontent Restless and irritable… When I stepped into the room everybody could feel my anger… My first sponsor gave me a crash course in the program.
My second sponsor was my godsend. Now looking back on it I understand. Now I am the old timer… The level of Acceptance love And tolerance that this fellowship has is one of the most beautiful relationships that I’ve ever known… They’re not judgmental and they accept you for who you are until you can get better…

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