I’m ok. Yes, I have been failing myself these last couple months. I realized I have been making little goals. Such as, “if I can just stop drinking for a couple months, then I’ll feel healthy again”. I have to change my mind setting back to, “I never want to drink again!” I’m so mad at myself. More so ashamed. But, I love myself enough to get back on the sober wagon. For those who believe in prayer please pray for me. It is much needed. My grandbabies need me sober and so do my children. Thank you 
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I love that ur back here checking in. It’s not easy and it can feel very defeating having relapses but I’m proud of you for not giving up. Yes ur grand babies and children need a sober role model but at the same time YOU deserve it for urself too. To live a happy and joyous sober life! I do agree with making bigger goals and I’m loving that u want to change ur mindset. But at the same time that can also feel overwhelming (at least for me… to think I will be clean and sober the REST of my entire life can feel scary and overhwhelming). Sometimes we just need to focus on today, this moment, the next 24 hours. I personally just focus on 24 hours at a time. As long as I can lay my head down on my pillow at the end of the day and be clean and sober, and have done what I can for my recovery that day, I am happy 
maybe focusing on just for today, will take the pressure off just a suggestion. You CAN get sober! I believe in u and I hear that desire in u!
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Before I really decided to kick alcohol out of my life I fell into the “soon” trap. By next month I’ll be sober or soon I’ll start working out/eating healthy/insert any change here that takes effort. Soon never happens. Today does. I’ll stay sober with you today. Keep at it, it is hard but it really is worth it. 
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Thank you for that!!!
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Sending prayers your way! You got this!
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