Binge drinking and the cycle

Hello. I’m new to this and just added the app today. I’ve struggled with drinking on and off for the past 14 years, and I’m only in my early 30s. I think the reason I always cycle back to old behavior is because it is hard to find the support I need. Society as a whole seems to target treating one type of alcohol problem: alcoholism. By the medical definition, this means you are physically addicted to alcohol and will be symptomatic if you stop use. However, bingers do not fall into this category. Further, if you go to AA, it is filled with personal accounts of ones dependence on alcohol daily. Again, not an issue for the binger, who in my case feels immediately excluded and questioning if I truly have a problem. But I do! You see, I can go days, weeks and months without a desire to drink at all. And I won’t. And sometimes, I can have 1-2 drinks and stop, simply because I don’t feel like drinking more. However, when it hits, and I don’t know when it’ll be, I way overdue it. I drink in excess and become a sloppy idiot. It’s embarrassing and I will self loathe and hate myself for days to weeks after. Why?! Why do I do this?! Then I will have a few episodes where I drink without incident. Then BOOM! I make an ass of myself again. I have a drinking problem. I want to quit. I need a support group of folks that understand and that I can relate to. And most importantly, I cannot convince myself I don’t have a problem again. Have any of you experienced this? Do you feel like it is hard to find support for binge drinking?

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My Story About Giving Up Binge Drinking
My Story About Giving Up Binge DrinkingOver 5 years ago I set this blog up to help me gather my thoughts together on the journey I started back in 2006, in which I stopped drinking alcohol completely. The blog has grown since mainly from the people that are kind enough to leave comments. Over 150,000 visitors in total have passed through. The comments helped build up a huge resource that I’m proud to have been able to nurture.

Many comments are inspirational and help me as well as you. After writing the first couple of posts, I found out that I wasn’t alone. In fact, I’m amazed by how many people are in the same boat. Either there is a realisation that alcohol has played its part in our lives and we want to move on, or else a realisation that alcohol and society has a big hold over us and we want to regain some sort of control.

Help is here
I’ve reorganised things here to try to make it easier to find posts written either by me or guests that have kindly taken time out to help support this blog with their own work. For this, I am very grateful as managing a blog takes some dedication. But if this is your first visit here and you’re looking to give up, you’re in the right place. Many who posted comments come back later to report how they are getting on, creating a community feel here. I think that this helps people realise that they aren’t alone on this journey.

Take it a step at a time
Like all journeys, especially long and difficult ones, the best way to focus is to break it down and take it a step at a time. I found in my own recovery, that writing really helped. I found it useful to read back over old posts and realise how far I’d moved forward. I always recommend this to any of you who are just starting out, to do the same.

If in doubt, ask
Read through my posts, read the guest posts and then take a look at the 5 steps I took that I believe finally helped me give up drink. Step 5 is the most popular page on this blog, with over 800 comments on it alone. I’ve created a page with all the comments, over 1,100 at the last count – all in one page. For those wishing to be totally inspired, it is recommended reading. If you want to contact me, or want my advice, just post a comment and I’ll reply to you.

Last, but not least
I set up a The Stopping-Drinking.com Bookstore – more of a bookstore, with the titles that help me, even to this day. There are a couple of stand out books including Susan Jeffers and Carol Dweck, well recommended and will help you zero in on the focus you need to help you reach your goal. Buying books through the Amazon affiliate links really helps with the blog running cos

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Thanks for sharing, and I totally get it. This is more of how I am as a drinker - I didn’t drink everyday and there’s plenty of times when I could just stop after 1 or 2. But man, when that flip switches and shit hits the fan, I just decide to completely get wasted and there’s no going back.

They say in AA to look more for the similarities than the differences. This “drinking problem” is tricky and will constantly try to convince you you’re totally fine. So to answer your question, it can suck to feel that way. I get it, but I try to look for those similarities and grasp onto that, and actually learn something. Otherwise I’m just sitting there judging others and not learning anything. We all have our own journeys!

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Purse disregard lol :hugs:

Hi pal! You are knowing you have a problem and that’s a gigantic step in the right direction! The great paradox of alcoholism, it is a disease that Always has to be self diagnosed. A doctor can tell you this or that about what alcohol is doing to your body and mind but can’t tell you with certainty if you are an alcoholic. That is for you and you only to decide.

You know you have a problem and that’s all that matters. Don’t let your brain or anyone else ever tell you different. You got some great replies from the girls above. And Ray. So I’ll just tell ya this, you will never ever have anyone at AA tell you you don’t have a problem. That is for you to decide not them. And they feel the same as I do, I promise. You will also find loads of binge drinkers like you at the meetings. I’d say at least a quarter of folks there were bingers.

So please don’t let that keep you away from something that has worked for so many of us. You deserve that seat in a meeting as much as anyone else. AA has rules set forth called the 12 Traditions.

The 3rd tradition states, The only requirement for membership is the desire to stop drinking.

That’s it! No dues or fees. Just the desire. And you have that pal. Nobody will tell you different:)

Hope this helps. You CAN do this!

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Binging was my thing too. Have you ever seen the movie Old School? I was exactly like Will Ferrels character Frank the tank :joy:

Calm, quiet and relaxed and often a few beers was fine, but every so often the switch flicked and off the rails I went with vodka, gin, whisky and the rest. I was a complete nutter and didn’t like that about myself.

Some periods I drank more heavily than others but I am peaceful now in my sober life, I had found peace before my last slip up for 5 months but this time I’ve worked a program and with the exception of a few crazy binges prior to this period I have been sober for the majority of the past 10 months, it took a few big slip ups to make me realise Alcohol simply doesn’t react well with me, like an allergy and with that in mind I am comfortable saying I am an alcoholic and I am in recovery and I am proud.

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This is so helpful to see others with the same issue as me. This is my pattern… I can go a long time without drinking and be ok but then I’ll binge to blackout point. I’m worried about this being an issue in recovery, worried I’ll be my own worst enemy and tell myself I’m ok after a while of being sober when the truth is that this is a major problem. Anyone here experienced relapses like that? Because I’ve tried sobriety before but eventually said it was stupid because I didn’t really have a problem. Anyone interested in being a sponsor for me?

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Thank you so much everyone for the replies! It feels great to hear from others like me, when I have felt so alone in this for years.

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Hi.

I could have written the same opening message as you. Except I went on for nearly 20 years. 36 days was the Best I managed between binges. But 14 days or 20 was easy. So I wasn’t an alcoholic. So I said to myself.

But then I realised that it doesn’t matter if you fit the definition some other people use.

I had a problem. Drinking was making my life worse. There might have been gaps between the binges but the damage I did to myself and upset to others meant that the gaps were becoming less important. People run out of patience. I ran out of excuses for myself.

You are now in a place where people will understand and relate and hopefully help.

So my record for not drinking now stands at 201 days and tomorrow I am heading for day 202.

It is worth it. One of the surest things I can promise you is that you will feel better about yourself and have more self-respect for yourself.

Aim for a day. Then another day. To start with make it the main priority. If it means staying indoors on your own, eating chocolate and watching every episode of Game of Thrones then that’s what you do.

It IS worth it.

Then you WILL find you can add elements of your old life back in. And enjoy them more than when you were drinking.

I can still make an idiot of myself now and then :blush: so that might not go away completely…

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