Thank you so much! 
Thank you!
Day 182 : No binge today.
Day 183 : No binge today.
Yuck. I ate the whole bag.
Never. Open. That. Stuff. Again.
I donāt feel too health infused with all the natural ingredients.
Yuck.
Have had it for a year and a half. Bought for a hiking trip that never happened because of lockdown.
Thanks for listening.
What went through my mind afterwards except for total disgust?
I couldāve eaten a whole Lotta cheese for the same number of calories. I couldāve had some really good meals. Something a lot better than this stuff which didnāt seem too natural or healthy.
Day 184 : No binge today.
Day 187 : No binge today.
Day 188 : No binge today.
@Jana1988 thanks for asking, thatās sweet of you. Days have been fine pretty much. Iām an exerciser and havenāt been as much or really much at all the last several months. For a variety of reasons. It got too hot with high humidity and rain and ā¦ not a runner like you, but a walker, and indoor bicycle, usually 21 miles. Iām doing it once or twice a week ( cough cough ha ha ā¦ ) and need to get back to 2-3 times a week. I will.
No weights since lockdown stuff but hopefully in next week or so I will get It all back in gear.
I have so much admiration for you and your running. I notice you havenāt posted. Some couldāve gotten lost too w the site down. Hope youāre doing fine with it? Hope no injuries.
Food wise, fine, here.
I did get some Gorgonzola for expected guests this past week and did eat it all before they came. I got it four days too early. Theyāre coming today Sunday.
It wasnāt that much, ( it really was) and I stayed at the normal calorie level for that day.
Take care, again, thanks.
Hi @Alisa .
Good to hear that you like exercise. I love running for the health benefits itās giving me and obviously it keeps me fit, too 
Iām fine. I still keep running. I did 17km today with people from my running club. It was great.
I know what you mean, I am also struggling to do something when itās too hot. The best is to force yourself and go either early morning or late eveningā¦
The food thingā¦itās hard. Iām also still struggling. Every day. Sometimes I think I got it but did I? Not really. Itās better nowadays than it used to be. At least I am not suffering from bulimia anymore. But I have slips and eat more than I would like to or food I know will give me pain because Iām intolerant to it, etc.
As well as youāre - Iām usually ok during day time but then evening comes and food means to me relax. I donāt know when I made it this habit but if I donāt over eat in the evening in front of TV I feel like I didnāt relax 
If I sit down and donāt have food I could bite all my nails off how much Iām craving something to eat. It feels like if my brain is locked and the only part working is the one which wants to eat and I feel absolutely devoted to go and do it even though I k ow that I will regret it. Itās something I feel absolutelly powerless to overcome. Itās perhaps harder than alcohol because I canāt just quit and stop eatā¦
But then here is the thing. I must just start think what it is why I want to eat so badlyā¦ I am not hungry most of the time. Itās just literally only strong habit. I feel so relaxed and satisfied at the time. I think I need to replace eating with something else. With something what would fullfil me you know. Maybe colouring. Maybe watching the trlly but concentrating on the story rather than thinking about what to eat and then eat food without even noticing I ate. It makes no sense to stuff myself with food just to satisfy my brain. Itās so insane and I want to get rid of it.
I am in stage when I am trying. Every single day I believe ātoday it isā. Today I wonāt over eat in the evening. And then I go and over eat. But I donāt give up and go and try again and again. Itās such never ending exhausting story lol.
I know I must do something different because the way I am doing it doesnāt really work 
But itās good to write here and get it off my chest for a bit. Itās such a rolecaster. I hope weāll find it easy one day. Who knows - might be today 
Keep going and trying and fidn out why you have this problem. It could help a bit I wish you a luck! 
& strength! 
I hear you.
Day 189 : No binge today.
Big hugs for you. You are such a hero to me because of your running and here you are mired in the muck with all this.
Youāre burning a lot of calories so you need quality nutrition. And the eating is relaxation and like a pastime. Iāve known since I was a child that a lot of cookies would make me sleep better. My problem time is the evening and sometimes I think itās procrastination to not do things like wash my face, brush my teeth, get in to bed. It would be helpful for you to have some relaxing evening activity. Chamomile tea is a good start. Vipsanna meditation will help relax you and divert your thoughts. Some type of hobby using your hands would be good. Something you could immerse your hands and thoughts in.
I donāt keep my problem foods around. I do keep low calorie foods like tomatoes, cucumbers and onion salad in the fridge. I can eat the whole thing, although I never have, and have not that many caloriesā¦ Youāre right in saying with this you canāt just say āno foodā like you can say āno alcoholā, āno smokingā, āno heroinā etcetera.
Iāve been doing something different since beginning of year which could help you too. (Sorry this is disjointed writing. Doing it on phone in a little space)
I joined Noom for the free trial. I started logging what I ate and what the calories were.
They have tutorials which were helpful although I knew most of it. A message/chat opened up but I quit After the free two weeks bc I didnāt want to pay them $50.00 a month. As a non paying person I could still log the calories. From the beginning I told Noom I wanted to lose two pounds. ( their suggestion was more). The point being my weight can fluctuate about 6 pounds. Or had been lately. Since I started logging the food itās stayed in the bottom half of that more than the top. I actually gained a few pounds when I first started. Itās made me aware of the calories, how many Iāve eaten, how msny I have left.
I also started eating half of a large avocado every day. And consciously using more olive oil. Those good fats are keeping me more satiated I think since most everything else Is fat free etc.
Itās the cheese and certain pastry/ cake type items that can do me in. I donāt keep them in my home. I do have them in an outside fridge.
Lately Iāve been cooking good frozen vegetables and just having them around for meals and snacking. Fruit.
Suggestions for you. Try to keep the foods you are sensitive to out of reach. The ones that make you feel bad.
Think about the colouring books. I have friends who love that, get so much relaxation, and enjoyment plus beautiful art works.
Keep tasty, low calorie, filling food around.
Eat real fat if youāre not eating that much.
Other people donāt understand. They eat dinner and theyāre done. I have a friend who helps people lose weight. Sheās always posting these healthy meals. Like cauliflower cheeesy healthy pasta whatever. 6 portions. Ha ha. Oh and you can have āa snackā later.
Portion?? When itās drenched in cheese.
Snack ā one diet cookie. Oh my!!
Use Noom and read their Daily tutorials. After the two week trial they are still making those available to me although I havenāt read them.
Log the calories. Then when the incessant eating comes you have some kind of accountability ā¦
Meditation or light evening yoga poses for relaxation.
Chamomile.
Lots of people like the Calm, Breethe and Insight.
Colouring.
More good fats like avocado or olive oil.
Low calorie hydrating foods like the tomato cucumber onion, watermelon, green vegetables.
Trigger foods out of house.
Iāll try and take some of my own ideas and we will see how it goes.
Let me know if you do any of it and if it helps.
Take care, @Jana1988
Day 190 : No binge today.
Thatās a nice looking number!!!
Thank you!