Looking back, I’d say over a week of eating more mindfully. I did eat quite a lot of dinner tonight, but it was real food, not ultra processed snacks, so I am going to let it go.
Did a weight training session and had killer DOMS for four whole days. Clearly need to be more consistent.
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Day 1747 : No binge today. 
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675 sugar
539 UPF
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Day 1748 : No binge today.
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Haven’t binged today and I also made some really difficult choices to not fulfill my urges for junk food while running errands. I successfully followed the “protocol” for dealing with an urge 3 times! Unfortunately by 8pm or so my willpower had run out so I ended up eating more than I meant to. I also found that SMART Recovery has an app where you can fill out worksheets including urges. It’s not very mobile friend but it is a good reminder of the tools I can use.
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676 sugar
540 UPF
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Day 1749 : No binge today.
@Passerina_cyanea I’m sorry about your relapse. 
I hope that you find the SMART tools useful to get through this, and following the protocol for your urges 3 times isn’t a bad start. Along with the avoiding buying junk food during errands, another win! 
You got this!
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Good morning, today in the evening I have a call with someone regarding to my eating disorder. It’s at 5.15pm UK time. Think of me 
I am looking forward to it, which is a good state of mind and thanks to god for it, because when I was booking the call, I was rather scared 
I have hope that I can get some help. Let’s see what the meeting will be like and about tonight 
To make myself even more accountable I told my boyfriend about it. His reaction was that he had no idea that I struggle this much and that it affects me a lot.. 
I guess lots of people don’t appreciate what’s going on in my head and how bad eating disorders can be when it comes to our mental health. Many people don’t understand that food can be overwhelming for someone and that yes, it can be addictive as well.
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@Jana1988 Fingers crossed for your appointment!!!
677 sugar
541 UPF
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Day 1750 : No binge today.
@Jana1988 I hope your appointment went well! I’m proud of you for taking that step!
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Good morning and thank you for the support I’m receiving 
I appreciate it and it is helping me very much, as I don’t feel alone
Yesterday was interesting. So I’ve booked this online video call via a beneficial scheme I’ve got from my work. It’s something like a mental health support. The lady at the other side was very nice and I talked her through my struggles and expectations. Unfortunately, she isn’t a specialist for eating disorders and therefore she couldn’t offer any advice really. She also told me that via my scheme there isn’t such a support, it’s just for some general wellbeing, whatever it includes. But she told me that they will send me an email with some resources of where to seek a help for my issues. She also recommended me to contact my GP and get a referral should I be interested.
One thing I know for sure; when I was telling her about my ED and concerns, it felt like a relief that I can get it out of my chest. Although she wasn’t a specialist in the area, it felt like she understands me and that helped so much. Whenever I talk about ED to my partner, as lovely as he is, I never feel fully understood and it feels more like the depth of my issue isn’t fully appreciated. I know he doesn’t mean it this way and it’s not his fault that he doesn’t know how it feels what I am going through with food. He tries to understand and support me, and that’s what matters to me But yeah, it was nice talking to someone who heard me.
I’ll wait for the email now and maybe also reach out to my GP and see what to do next. Thanks to that call I am crystal clear that I want a therapy. I decided that I’ll approach it being opened to try any solutions which shall be offered to me. I want to be honest with the therapist and with myself. Put my fears aside and just do it so it’s worth the time and effor I and someone else put into this.
Hope all I wrote makes sense
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That is one of the reasons why I appreciate recovery meetings so very much. I am surrounded by people who get it and support me. Even just listening to shares makes me feel less lonely in my struggles.
678 sugar
542 UPF
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Yes, I thought sharing here in writing is enough. But to say it out loud to someone who understands is a different level of stone falling of my chest.. 
I went through a successful therapy for bulimia, you’d think I’d remember how it feels
Are you still attending meetings @acromouse ?
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day 2 of not binging with food. I still have a lot of problem with sugar 
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Every single day. I attend Recovery Dharma online meetings. There are also other programms available.
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Keeping up with the exercise! Two short weight sessions, DOMS not quite as bad.
Ate dinner really early today, for no good reason other than I was alone in the house. I felt sure I would be hungry later and binge, but that doesn’t seem to be the case. It is PMS time, so maybe I was just hungry?
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Day 1751 : No binge today.
@Jana1988 I hope that you can get the treatment you need and that it goes well.
Also, just a reminder that national alliance for eating disorders has therapist led support groups that you can attend in the meantime. Free of charge.
@Misokatsu You’re doing great with your exercise, keep up the good work!
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679 sugar
543 UPF
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day 3 of not binging with food. I am planning not eating lunch today
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Hi! I have a few days binge free. I’ve looked at so many resources to try and change my behavior, at this point too many to keep straight - SMART urge log and workbook, cronometer, food addiction workbook, journaling, and recently I met with a dietician and an IBS-focused therapist.
I need to cut back on this scatter shot approach which includes keeping up with this forum. So I’m going to go away for a bit, hope to be back eventually
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