I feel so conflicted, I don’t drink often but when i do it’s always till I’m black out drunk. Calling people I don’t usually talk to just insane things i would never do if I was sober it’s almost like two totally different people were there that night and only one knows what happened and I’m the empty shell that has to deal with the embarrassments so it’s all or nothing i really need it to be nothing
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Good to have you on board Con! I used to do the same thing. So embarrassing when someone would approach me about something I texted them the night before. Has not happened to me in 2024 for some reason.
Hope you stick around here
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Welcome to show @Con88 !
It took me a while to realize that alcohol not only had control over me, but it has negative value, it adds nothing, only takes away.
Quitting now, before anything more can be taken away, is the smartest thing you can do.
Being that you drink every now and then will make quitting easier as you likely won’t experience withdrawals, but staying quit will be where the difficulties lie as it’s easy to forget what’s being taken away. Stick around, share your story, keep that desire to quit fresh in your mind and you will find success. Let’s get it!
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Hey you, it’s like I read my own story. I thought because I didn’t drink daily it wasn’t that bad (in my early days that is, eventually I drank everyday).
Looking back I was already lost then, I couldn’t stop after one or two. And then the blackouts, destructive behavior, hangovers. Not to mention the crippling shame the day after…
One night I voice texted myself. The drunk me to my future hungover me. I couldn’t remember doing that, so you can imagine the pure horror to hear myself drunk. I recently deleted it but I listened to it well over a 100 times. I was begging my future self to stop, to take action. It helped, I am still here.
Any way, it’s good to have you here, there are alot of ex-bingers on Talking Sober. We all went through the same shit!
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What you said, right there was and is my main reason for always wishing I could just quit.
How many times did I wake up and immediately check my phone for late night calls, texts, social media posts? How many times had my wife said, “do you remember what you said?” “Or did”
I was so embarrassed so many times and I’m sure I hurt my reputation immensely.
We can’t go back in time and change anything, all we can do is move forward. But it certainly is my biggest regret in this life.
I’m thankful that I am sober and each morning I wake to know exactly where and what I was the night before.
Great to have you here, and know you are definitely not alone.
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That’s why im conflicted its not often so alot of people think im crazy for trying to quit all together I made it ten days… I’ve had to call off work and embarrassed myself and my children so thats enough whether it’s twice a week or twice a month I come from a long line of functioning alcoholics and have zero support outside of here
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Hey Con
Like @Naomi I started this way too. Just got blind drunk now and again. Nursed the hangover, it normal, right? That’s what I thought.
Then ten years later I was drinking gin to sober up in the morning to get to work. Just a nip. Hair of the dog. Bloody Mary… it’s ok, right?
Might not happen to you, you might be just fine but you’re here so… I guess you’re not sure you will be.
Please stay, look around and read some stories. Decide for yourself.
We’ll all be here for you
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Welcome Con. Good to have you aboard. To be totally honest, I don’t see the conflict you’re talking about. Maybe somewhere between the lines I read that you would like to be able to drink without becoming black out drunk? Sorry when I’m wrong but that’s all the possible conflict I see.
Otherwise, from your words, I see a person like all of us here. Someone that lost control over their drinking. And once that control is lost it will not be found back. I’ve seen no one do it. Zero. So the consequence to me seems logical. And I do feel you see that too or you wouldn’t be here.
The good news is that life actually can be a lot better without alcohol in it. And here we together work on making a better life for ourselves, together. Sober. it’s an idea that might take some time to get used to it but I tell you it’s worth it. Glad you’re here with us frined. Together we’re strong.
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About the people that find you crazy you quit all together: watching videos on YouTube from ‘not-so-problematic’ drinkers helped me alot. I wasn’t a homeless alcoholic without teeth (yet), so my friends thought I was exaggerating too. But to see even moderate drinkers quit for good made me more determined to quit.
If you feel like alcohol is holding you back, interfering with the life you want, with work, with family, with sport, with …, I can assure you it’s worth it.
By the way, congrats on 10 days AF!! That’s huge 
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I know that feeling quite well.
And I’m falling and stumbling all over the place.
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Glad your back William, don’t give up on sobriety
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