My thoughts won’t let me sleep. It’s almost 5 am and my mind is still going. I’m laying in bed with my partner of 13 years and lately I noticed that when he gets mad at me he calls me a alcoholic…
I do understand that I have a problem with alcohol and it’s already hard trying to deal with the fact. It makes me feel really bad about myself and like I am always going to have someone judge me based off the fact I’m an alcoholic…. Just feeling really confused and sad that he thinks of me like this….
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Know your truth, accept your truth and then the truth cannot hurt you. There are worse diseases to have, we can choose wether or not our disease progresses or is terminal. You can change this for yourself, best wishes 
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My husband called me an alcoholic plenty before I accepted I was one. I didn’t like it either at the time. He could call me an alcoholic now, and I would be like “No shit, Sherlock. I’m an alcoholic and I haven’t touched a drop in 3 and a half years. What’s your point?”
@Dan531 said it perfectly.
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Louder for the people at the back!
and
I’ll be returning to my life where I live constructively and focus on things where I can have a positive effect on myself and others.
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I’d be like… yeah I think this is established, no? That’s why I’m trying to get help and be a better person? That title only really ever felt offensive when I was in denial about it and fighting (losing) to that inner demon. Now I mean, we say it in meetings, we say it here, we say it to our closest… admitting where we have been doesn’t mean we can’t go anywhere else… it just means we’ve accepted where we’ve been. That being said tell your partner you need them to be more gentle with you while you’re sorting through this because you are currently fighting for your life and well being which will in turn make you a better partner to them.
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In my own experience a good amount of sobriety basically shuts those kind of comments down…for me thats one of the gifts that sobriety gives you …all those that once doubted me and judged me are now of closed mouth 
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I already accept that fact I am an alcoholic and am working on it but sometimes he won’t see the changes I’m doing.
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Correct him and say…I’m a grateful recovering alcoholic. Grateful I haven’t died from this disease and grateful I found recovery.
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First off, that sucks - it is a hard and heavy feeling when the emotional and recovery work you are doing, is not seen or acknowledged by someone so close to you. That is hard and I’m sorry he’s doing that. It’s not fair to be so dismissive of you.
Gently, and with compassion - for you and for all of us (many members here have been through exactly what you are going through now) - I think there’s something which might help you, if you can work on it a bit, accept it and work with it: he is not in a head space where he can see your work right now. I know it hurts. It’s weird but everyone has their own “rhythm”, their own mental and emotional space and steps, and sometimes it’s impossible to see something unless we’re in the right space to see it. He might not be in that space. It’s his journey, his life, and for whatever reason, he may not be able to see it (and, tragically, he might never be able to see it - we don’t know now but it’s possible, I’m sorry to say, that he may never see it).
There are people who do see you and accept you and are your friends, and these are the people you meet in recovery. Personally, some of my closest friends now are people I met in my recovery groups. They are people I can call any time, and who accept me no matter what. I can talk with them about anything.
Many people who are working their recovery on Talking Sober are these people, many people who are working their recovery in sobriety groups (like SMART Recovery or AA) are these people. There are people who accept you for who you are, and they do not insult you or dismiss you.
The door is open and you have the power to take charge of your life and your journey: you have the power to be your own judge, and you can be free from unhelpful judgment of other people (including your husband). Take a leap and keep working your recovery one day at a time, and you will find what you need.
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So sorry that you are going through this and through these emotions.
A former friend of mine, a best friend actually, once called me a “pathetic drunk” during an argument. It does sting no matter who it comes from because you’re in a phase of addiction and hurt. I never spoke to her since because there are just some things you can never take back.
It’s easier to get rid of a friend though than it is a partner. Sometimes a relationship can be a good one but you will have to deal with bumps in the road. And if you’re committed to making it work, you will make it work through BOTH of your trials and tribulations. Have you kindly let him know how this makes you feel while you are trying your best to beat this addiction? It’s the only way you both can heal and move on from this. He can’t be throwing words that hurt you. At the end of the day, you are a PERSON and you deserve kindness. 
But it does get better like everyone else said. Now someone can call me a “pathetic drunk” and I will be like, “Tell me something I don’t know about myself!” 
Because I know the work I’ve put into my sobriety. And no hater can take that away from me. 
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Use it as motivation. Depending on how long you have been sober would change my advice. If you are early in your sobriety and have been down this road multiple time it is just as hard for our spouses to believe we can do it as it is for us. My wife had written it off and began to prepare for life after I was gone. She had given up on me getting sober. She had stood by me through years of drinking and watched me go a week or two dozens of times(once it was 4 months) only to fall back into it. I would say it was once I hit the one year she finally started to realize things had changed and I was going to do what ever to took to not ever drink again and be the person she deserved(I still fall short on that one often). Talk to him and be open with him, tell him what you need from him to help, but you also have to be patient with him as its sounds like he has been with you for years.
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It takes time. I have told this story before, but the way my house is built, my husband usually passes the kitchen window to park his bicycle before coming in. He would always call “Are you ok?” (meaning “Have you been drinking?”) through the window. It was I think 3 months into my sobriety when he made me jump out of my skin when he walked straight in from the front door.
Just focus on you and your recovery. Your partner noticing or not noticing your effort and changes is their business. I do understand the hurt and frustration, tho. 