Folks, I’ve had a wonderful experience just now. Met up with a few friends (rules have been relaxed a bit over here), had a nice enough time for a few hours but was pressured very much by one friend to go on after a few hrs. He’s the kind who gets very in your face, always rudely joking and entertaining the entire group with his antics (he is funny but extremely offensive, which is funny again) and can not let it go when ppl don’t go along with his needs. He doesn’t ever get in touch with anyone but when he is around he can’t get enough of his own shenanigans. Calls everyone who doesn’t drink boring etc. Anyways, this isn’t about him haha. No, it’s about how good it felt to realise I that was tired and needed to eat, needed my home and routine and to be alone: and to do just that. To go home early and for that to be ok. I did what I usually do, made the different things to eat for myself, the bf and the dug, took off the makeup, combed my hair, watched some South park with my bf, tidied up afterwards, and it made me so happy to not consciously question that it is more important I make myself feel good than others. To look after treating myself right first, then trust I find connection with other people. When I’m myself again. There were also two new ppl there I didn’t know but found very likable and I did not go home my head hanging in shame and crushed by mega inferiority which is usually my only modus operandi. No, I let myself be, at least more than I used to. I think: if I like this person, if I get cool with myself, they might like me too. it’ll be ok. I’m not a monster. Haha people, I don’t know if I’m making much sense here, it is way past my bedtime and I’ve just literally dragged myself back from sleep to write this post cos the feeling of happiness at my small self-honouring routines and this very new feeling of accepting, not second guessing what makes me feel good was just too delicious, I had to bring it here. This is the first time I did this.
Can anyone relate? Any good boundary stories yourselves?
Good night to everyone! Stay sober, stay strong! 
I am glad to hear you feel good being you. I think that is in the end what we all are striving for! Way to go.
Good for you! 
I just politely declined a group chat tonight that others planned but I haven’t been looking forward to (nothing against them it’s just I find virtual communication tedious, so if it’s not for something important like a sobriety meeting then I love you but we can wait until COVID’s over to meet up 
). I have been really working on keeping myself sober today - it’s been a day of self-doubt and fatigue and I’m feeling a little fragile (I’ll be ok but it’s one of those days when I really need to attend to myself, and ask assertively for what I need).
I feel good now. I’m getting ready for bed and I will run myself a warm bath. I am going to enjoy it, and go to bed clean and fresh, and wake up tomorrow to a new, sober day. 
Boundaries. Today is sil bday. My spouse has way more money than I do, we have separate and joint accounts. So, I think he should buy presents for the stepkids from his own money. This has been a debate between us for 25 years. Anyway, he asked me if he could use joint money for bday gift which is just cash not an actual gift. So I said that it should be from his own account. He willingly said he would which is progress. The point is that I have had resentments over the years related to this issue and his stinginess and now I can stand up for myself in a confident manner.
That he still asks me is another matter. At least he doesn’t argue as much as he used to about it. 
Good for you Phoebe! Must feel very empowering to be able to change your standing in your own favour in such an old ongoing issue! 
I love this so much!! I have always sucked at boundaries, but I’ve learned along the way to protect my own energy. I no longer say yes when I want to say no anymore. Great job lady!! 