Does anyone else here suffer from borderline personality disorder and only drink to cope with rage episodes
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Hi @Cassidymaloney welcome to the TS community. You are not alone. Though this is not my situation there are many here who have discussed such concerns and I’m sure will comment and support you soon.
If you go to the magnifying glass in the top right you can search for relevant topics
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Welcome to the forum Cassidy! I am diagnosed with having BPD and PTSD and i definitly used drugs to cope with my unstable moods and thinking. For me personally, medication for my BPD and therapy (DBT) was sooo important in being able to stay clean and sober.
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Hi nice to meet you ! It’s seems like going out for drinks or having a rage episode when thinks boil over is all I know I just signed up for therapy and will be given medication from a psychiatrist soon there after this gives me solace to know there’s hope
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I too also suffer from ptsd I have been out of therapy for about five years and it’s slowly crept back and got worse and now I need to go back and it’s like starting from square one again
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There absolutely is hope! Im so glad that uv sought help for it. My meds especially make a big difference in stabilizing my moods. And when i have more stable moods, i dont get triggered nearly as much to use or drink. I hope they help u also!
Have u quit drinking or have thought of trying to quit?
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Yes the past couple months I have been really good about it but five days ago I had an episode and hurt my significant other by being disrespectful and splitting on him and I’m so ashamed and it made me realize I can’t control the emotions or behavior on my own as much as I may try and so that’s what made me decide to really be sober even though I don’t consider myself to be an alcoholic using it as a coping mechanism isn’t healthy so I realize that’s a problem and I’d like to quit drinking all together and not rely on a vice to cope with anything in life.
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If you don’t mind me asking I’ve never been out on medicine for my bpd and I’m curious what you are prescribed or what you’ve tried so I can do some research before I see my psychiatrist …
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I am on Abilify and Sertraline. Abilify is a mood stabilizer and it really helps me feel more “level”. It also helps with my BPD thinking. The Sertraline is an antidepressant but it goes really well with Abilify (from what the dr told me).
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Im really proud of u for making such big changes! I know ur feeling ashamed and whatnot but honestly the fact that ur realizing that u may need some help with this is HUGE! I hope ur partner sees that too 
Honestly, i dont think ull regret ur decision at all to seek help.
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Thankyou so much for the kind words and the information I know it’s not my fault at the end of the day my brain chemistry is messed up and I thought being so self aware of that I could control it before the emotions over ride my logic but it just doesn’t work like that and I hope the medication is the answer and the key to being balanced .
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That’s beautiful and very well written I can relate to a lot of what you’ve said and feel. We’re not bad people we just feel so deeply it consumes us that’s how I feel. Unworthy and always telling myself how can someone love someone like me. Even though I am kind and caring and have a stable job and house and car and dog I take care of I’m clean and constantly keep things tidy but at the end of the day what does any of that matter if I can’t respect the people I love and how much stress and lashing out can a person take that doesn’t even deserve it . It’s a hard disorder to live with because we didn’t ask to be this way and don’t want to be this way it’s just the cards we were dealt. It’s unfair and I’m not responsible for my trauma but I am responsible to find ways to cope and regulate and live with it and hopefully become a better person and grow from it. My family understands more than my significant other because they were there when the initial trauma happened they saw the despair in my eyes and felt the brokenness inside me they saw the change . My significant other however came 5 years later after a toxic relationship as well so this is the first time I’m in a healthy relationship and feel real love . It’s scary and hard and the drinking Definitely exasperates every bad symptom and creates more thoughts and gives me less control of my anger so I just need to accept that fact and never touch it again because unfortunately I do have this mental illness and I can’t drink it’s all so wild this game of life and how one day you can be happy and normal and the next day your life is changed forever . 
god bless you and I’m happy to hear you have been working on yourself as well I guess that’s all we really can do . Accept ask for help try to heal and try every day to be the best we can
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I have bpd. It’s pretty stressful. I have a bad drinking and drugs problem. Bpd is a tricky one.
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I also have BPD and alcohol makes it so much worse. I was just recently diagnosed (3 weeks ago) and it makes sense. I am also on Sertraline for my anxiety and depression. I start DBT therapy next week, looking forward to it. I am proud of you for reaching out, we are all here to help. We are a lot more alike, than different 🫶🏽
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I agree not many people can understand something they don’t experience to it’s nice to be connected with people who know what we go through in our day to day life and what we struggle with internally. It’s a hard battle but god only gives his toughest battles to his toughest soldiers. I’m glad I found this app and I’d like to check in with eachother weekly to share progress or stories or if we need someone to talk to it’s nice to not feel alone ! I’ve been feeling alone for a long time in this what solace this gives me after many years !
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I was diagnosed with BPD and yeah, I’m guessing you are talking about the intensity of emotions and the emotional distress that comes with it, ?? I completely understand that…it’s so hard because the emotional experience is often so intense and it’s hard to know how to move past it. So it makes sense to want to numb the intensity with alcohol or whatever, the problem is that when the alcohol wears off the emotional experience is often even worse…I was actually dealing with it today, so I went through a bunch of different techniques (on Pinterest)that guide you through acceptance, reality checking/ questioning and lots of different CBT techniques etc…or you could go through the dbt module on distress tolerance and stuff… obviously it takes work and time but with patience it’s probably going to be a lot better than continuing to drink.
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How is everyone the weekend is coming up and I find it the hardest part of my week to get through because I lose my routine and always have a lot of extra responsibility like errands / groceries / food prep / excersize / etc I hope everyone had a good week god bless
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Thanks for the love! I agree, this weekend was rough and I still get pretty anxious. BPD is tough on my emotions and self regulation, but I’m 31 days today. Have a great Sunday 🫶🏽
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