Hi, i am here bc I want to quit drinking as it affects my BPD really bad. Im still feeling quite raw.
How do you all emotionally regulate yourselves without using substances as a crutch or without depending on others 24/7? It feels like… i have to consistently ask someone “is everything ok” and i wont relax until they reply with “yes”
I want to be able to do that on my own. I want to be my own comfort person and console myself. I rely on others waaaaay too much.
You’ll want to build an internal mirror. One that reflects calm and safety back to you from the inside, as opposed to rely on outside.
Make contact with your body, and ask yourself what you’re scared of and ask what is really going on.
Alcohol temporarily relieves panic in bpd, but neurochemically and emotionally rebounds more intensely.
Its great you’re talking about this 
My honest early impression would to just stay sober.
Let your body regulate off the chemicals.
Even if the Alcohol isn’t in your system it takes time to heal.
Your early awarness and understanding is good.
..
Attempt to take it one day, one moment at a time.
All those emotions will come.
I gave myself time coming out of heavy drinking, and just knowing it takes time.
BPD is draining, take it slow. Thats all I can say.
Time for reflection, if you believe in God.
Take the moments to go to God.
It’s a long road, but its worth every day sober.
I can promise you that.
..
As for others, go to AA get connected to those who are sober.. they are there to help. To understand.
Its ok.
Connecting is good.
One thing I noticed in my own, is when I drift to far away from connections. I tighten up and become to emotional, to in my head. To isolated out of a I can do this on my own. Anything good took a community. A group of good individuals.
Don’t let fear or the desire to do it on your own, take you.
There might be that feeling. That go to everyone to no one.
There is balance.
BPD has the highest rate of comorbidity disorders and unfortunately substance misuse disorder is one of the main ones. It’s very tempting to use alcohol or other substances to try and regulate the emotions, especially when they’re so intense and rapid all the time. But it’s just not worth it as it makes things worse in the long term.
CBT, talking therapy and possibly anti-depressants are your best bet in terms of official treatment (if you aren’t doing so already) but talking about your emotions and really looking inward to determine why you feel like that is very good practice. Thank you for feeling safe enough to open up about it on here! Keep going 
I have BP2 and I can relate. You are in the right place if you want to get sober. Have you tried going to treatment, therapy, or recovery support groups? When was your last drink?
I was diagnosed with BPD quite some time ago and I can understand some of what ur experiencing right now. Im sorry ur feeling so emotionally raw. BPD can be hard to manage, especially when we are still using/drinking.
I found DBT to be really helpful but it takes practice everyday in using those skills for it to be successful. I found medication to be the biggest factor in regulating my emotions. Ive been on the same med since I was diagnosed and it helps me tremendously. It helps me stay clean and sober bcuz im not experiencing such intense highs and lows (which in the past would triggered me to use). Other ways of regulating emotions are grouding techniques such as the 5 senses grounding technique, deep breathing is helpful, and then adding in other things like a nice self care routine. I like using lavender essential oils in my bath or lavender scented products on my skin. Its very calming.
I also found it helpful to speak positive affirmations and write gratitude lists to sort of change my thinking. Prayer (if ur into that) is also helpful I find.
I think the biggest help was therapy meds. Bcuz now I am able to battle those BPD thoughts instead of letting them consume me
When people us BPD are they referring to boarderline personality or bipolar?
I am referring to bpd as borderline personality
I am starting DBT therapy soon. My last drink was Sunday. I had a terrible episode that night and im pretty sure it wouldnt have happened if i wasnt drunk.
Thank you so much. Im going to keep putting in the effort every day
I’m curious what an episode looks like but you don’t have to say if you don’t want to. Do you always have episodes when you drink
Sure. I hope im not judged lol.
I don’t always have episodes when i’m drunk, but when i’m already having a rough time and I try to relieve it with getting drunk, it usually intensifies my bpd thoughts and I lash out. I will lash out on whoever is closest to me. I become accusatory, aggressive, I threaten to leave and do something dangerous. One of my drunk bpd episodes i smashed my phone… yup. If i wanna recover from bpd in general I do have to let go of alcohol. I don’t trust myself to be normal under the influence or risk the chance of having an episode or not
We’re not here to judge you, we’re here because we all want the same thing for each other: To live a happy & sober life.
It takes a lot of courage to even come here in the first place, so you’re on the right path. There are a lot of people here with great advice if you want it. Stay strong my friend, and never give up.
Sober life is a blessing, and you should be proud of yourself for having the self awareness to realize you need to stop, and WANT to stop.
One day at a time, keep stacking those days, and come here if you ever need support 
Never had a BPD diagnosis but have def used alcohol to self med for emotional regulation and after 3 years sober I can safely say, it doesn’t work!
Therapy has helped me a lot, if you can access it if really recommend it - journalling has help a bunch too (look up struthless on YouTube, his VOMIT systemnof journalling really unlocked how to do that for me) but mostly just not picking up that first drink tbh
As recently as yesterday I had a meltdown at the supermarket, and the urge to flip the fuck it switch was hella strong - but I didn’t pick up a drink, I took myself out of the situation, I sat in my feelings instead of trying to escape them, I breathed, I talked to my partner about it - it was unpleasant, but it passed, within 20 mins or so - instead of blowing up my life and living with the consequences for days/weeks/godknows how long after - and I’m glad I did, I feel much better today
Quitting drinking isn’t a magic switch that fixes everything - but it does mean not flipping the fuck it switch that feels better in the moment but makes everything worse thereafter
Trust me, we’ve all done some crazy stuff in our disease… some of us even have done crazy stuff in recovery. I won’t speak for everyone, but I’m not totally sane, per say (that’s putting it very mildly).
Well there is a solution to alcoholism and addiction. You’re definitely in the right place. I’m glad you found us.
Have you tried therapy as someone else mentioned? AA? Counseling?
I’m struggeling with the same… 
I’m newly sober and am just figuring out this app, but I wish you the best!!
Keep in touch