Hi, I drank at brunch this morning after drinking all weekend. I’m tired of waking up horribly anxious about my behavior and the state of my relationships after having too many drinks the night before. I always say I’ll just have one or two but that’s rarely the case. I stop monitoring myself when I’m drinking and I worry that I act out in selfish ways.
I’ve done two separate sober months in the past year, and for a while convinced myself I just needed to “cut back”. Right now I’m on day one. I work in a restaurant, and I find after work is the hardest time for me to say no. It’s really hard for me to figure out how to socialize with people in ways that don’t revolve around alcohol.
I can’t keep trying and failing alone. I’m excited to have found this online community and read y’all’s stories. Thanks in advance.
Welcome to the forum, we’re glad you have decided to try sobriety today! The thread below lists lots of different ways folks here have used to get and stay sober. Blessings on your house 
as you begin your journey!
Hi there! There is a sobriety support online group called Ben’s Friends that I’ve heard of. For restaurant and service industry workers. Very cool idea because that type of occupation would present challenges in sobriety. Maybe check that out. Glad you are here!
Get out of the restaurant industry. It makes it almost impossible to get sober in that environment. Everyone in that industry wants to party after work. That job forces your body into an unatural state of stress. You dont get to eat or relax at normal times. You don’t know how,much you will get paid. Change your job and watch your life change. I worked in that industry for 15 years.
Welcome Olive 
. Invest time into your sobriety each day and your sobriety will grow. All we have to do is live our best sober life today. I’m glad you’re here.
The link above is a woman who worked in the service industry and got sober, I’m pretty sure she was a bar tender. Her podcast are pretty good though if you like listening.
Welcome Olive 
Hi Olive, I’m so glad you’re here.
I worked in the restaurant industry for 25 years, I know exactly what you mean. It is very very difficult to break that cycle because the environment is just toxic chaos. You will have some of the best relationships in your life come from it but it doesn’t change the basic fact that it’s toxic and steeped in alcohol and drugs.
But getting out of job is easier said than done. So my suggestions would be to treat yourself like you’re sick for a week or two. When you have a cold you still have to work, but you take care of yourself. You drink tea instead of soda during your shift, you go home to go to sleep instead of going out, and you stay quiet during the day instead of running around trying to get things done before work. Come here as much as possible and maybe try to find a meeting in person.
I finally ended my accusative relationship with restaurants via Covid and it’s the best thing ever. After so long in it and so long driving way too much, I’m finally sober and it’s amazing. You can do it!