Breaking point

Ok so i relapsed after 20 days sober. This time I am finding it much harder to get back on the wagon. This time intead of pain pills and benzos it is weed and alcohol…I am at a point where I feel like I’m going to break. Please share anything that helped you guys maintain sobriety…

I never get drunk I have way to much to do. But I have been smoking so much and a shot here and there so I’m never really sober…but this is the first time all my days are kind of blurred together and it scared me

I’m not one to preach … It is but my first day…
What I AM doing is pretending to be what people see me as. I try to be her… Weed for/to me isnt an addiction… Maybe because I have mental issues before I started and thats my meds for sanity … Booze however I can relate … What I would do is water that down… That may wing you off some… Or start pouring it out keeping the bottles and filling it with flavored soda… It helped my brother… Now he can’t stand the smell…

I see what @NoMoDope.Honesty is saying as weed has helpped many in early recovery. Im assuming the weed isnt giving u enough of a buzz so you turn to alcohol. I know when i first started doing pills. It was like i could get drunk “like” without the taste. So i feel the alcohol should definately go. I have acually have tried to explore drinking and have stopped for a little while now. I feel like if i drink and get with the wrong people or mind set ill end up dead if i pick another needle up. iv never heard of a doctor to write a script for a shot of vodka when your feeling anxiety or depression. Its your sobriety. You have kicked the beast of addictions you can do this too. Maybe one at a time and a day at a time…sad ive seen every opiate addict around me that is now “clean” has turned to alcohol. Maybe its a pattern or im calling the kettle black…

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Yep @Donnie_Spiering thats exactly what I’m saying its not addiction for me cause I used for depression anxiety and to eat while I was pregnant(with doctor consent)… What I havent been through I wont speak on… I like to think thats smart…:+1:

For me it isnt the buzz that isnt enough…weed does amazing things for my anxiety. Its more helping me deal with everything I have to get done in a day with out loosing my shit…as far as the alcohol goes Donnie_Spiering I could see a relation between the two. I need to figure out a way to deal with everything and not have to be numb to do it. Idk if it makes sense but if I get super stoned or a buzz going to a point where I feel almost emotionless it makes it way easier to deal with everything. At least it feels like it…I’m very high functioning still and getting things done I need to…i just kind of check out emotionally and the exhaustion or emotional strain doesn’t bother me. Idk if it makes any sense…

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