Business trips are so hard…

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Mostly a vent, I’m 86 days alcohol free and feeling great. But - I’m on a work trip this week around a bunch of people drinking and enjoying themselves. I was pressured multiple times yesterday evening to take shots, just get a drink, etc… each time responding no I’m not drinking right now, etc.

I’m going to power through, it’s just so frustrating sometimes the stigma behind it.

One nice thing is one of our team members locally saved me and one other person who doesn’t drink (offered to take us home once they started getting rowdy). But still, I can’t bank on this happening every night…

Anyone have similar stories on how you handled it?

I was so tempted yesterday to cave. It’s just one night, right? But at the same time, for me, it’s usually not just one night…

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I work in the casino industry so our conventions and trade shows are usually in Vegas or Reno. It’s a relatively small industry so these events are like homecomings where everyone knows each other.

Anyhow, I handle it by either opting out of the after parties or dipping out early on the dinners. The ones I do attend, I keep fresh seltzer and lime or seltzer and cran in hand, that usually keeps the “let’s drink” guys away.

When people persist on pressuring me to drink (rare occasion), I’ve literally walked away and talked to someone else.

After a while, it’s not a big deal and people really don’t care. I’ve actually found a group of other sober folks and we had a great time together.

Good luck and stay sober!

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Thank you! Since I’m not local I Uber or hitch rides with people since they don’t like to expense rentals so 1 won’t work, but 2 is a good option for sure!

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Thanks for the support. Yesterday I got club soda with lemons and limes - I think a few people thought I had a mixed drink so it did kind of fend them away. :slight_smile:

I’m in the mindset of I’ll stay sober and sip on this, have dinner and hopefully dip out early. Luckily one of my close work friends is going tonight and she is pregnant, so I’ll probably stick with her.

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Are they really though?? It’s tough to be put in a position to be around people partying. Once the perception of alcohol is changed it makes things easier. You are a non drinker, and you’re killing it 1 day at a time! Keep up the good work :clap:

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Yas! Do that! Sober buddies are great to have!

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Now, I know this is absolutely not for everyone for a whole bunch of reasons, but in my case it became very obvious over the past year that the most economical way (in emotional, intellectual and social terms) to put myself out there as a non-drinker is to just say “I don’t drink”, or “I’ve quit alcohol”. This almost always makes the other person ask “Really? How so?” And I’ll just say “You know, it did me no good”. And most of the time, that’s it for that conversation. And, with that person, it mostly never comes up again. No fibbing, no trying to resist the pressure, no twisting myself into knots with my own struggle. For me, owning my sobriety outright has eliminated most social pressure. Nobody questions my sparkling water or soda. People actually ask me if they should get a couple NA beers when planning a get-together. A couple of friends are really cutting down on alcohol and I have no reason to think they struggle with it, but rather that they don’t think it’s such a bad idea to reduce alcohol intake after all.

Edited to add that this has made staying sober so much easier, obviously. I hope it can help someone out there.

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This!

I do exactly this now. Early on, it’s very intimidating as we are afraid to be judged. By the way, the fear of being judged is all in our heads, seriously, no one cares.

Like at a vendor dinner, drink orders are taken, I always just order an Arnold Palmer. People either say “that actually sounds good” or they say “what’s that?” And I tell them, and they say, “that actually sounds good”. Lol

Never had someone stood up pointing at l me yelling, “he’s not drinking alcohol, get him!!!”. Some people just don’t drink, and I am one of them, proudly.

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@Wolfprincess I traveled for the 1st 9 years of my soberity. When ever I arrived to a new city the 1st thing I’d do is (this was in 1997…) open the hotel phone book and call the local intergroup. I’d tell the person who answered how much time I had sober and was traveling for work. I’d either get the address and a contact person who I’d meet up with at the meeting or in many cases I flew and didn’t have a car, they’d give my number to someone who would pick me up from my hotel and take me to meetings. As for people making an issue over what was in my glass, I heard from a guy at a meeting say what he would tell people is he is allergic to alcohol, when asked what happens he replied “I break out in handcuffs”. I also made sure I had an exit plan. Uber, taxi, friend, fake call needing me… somewhere… anywhere… just not at a bar around people who care more about what I’m drinking. Hope this helps…

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Always have a drink in your hand even it’s just water. You don’t owe anyone an explanation why you’re not drinking alcohol! The only person that you need to be honest with is yourself.

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Tysm! Everything went fine. :slight_smile: was a great time - alcohol free!

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I wanted to share my evening last night, this thread seemed appropriate.

I was invited to a dinner with one of our vendors from work. I’ve never met them in person before, so it was a good opportunity to put faces to the names that I’ve been emailing with the past year.

So I show up to this little (fancy) italian restaurant, in this small town that lies about 20 minutes from the Canadian border. My colleague and I scan the dining room and find our party already at the table. We sat down in moments later, the waiter came and took our drink order, I noticed our hosts all had, what appeared to be alcoholic drinks in front of them, regardless, I ordered my usual Arnold Palmer, my colleague a Shirley Temple ti which she said, “we’re the non-drinkers here!”.

One of the gentlemen asked, “Never drink, or just not tonight?”. She replied, “I never drink, I have a few times, but it’s not for me”. He looked at me, I said “Oh I drank enough in my life already, so itnwas time for me to be done with that”. We had a chuckle.

Anyhow, turns out, our account manager (who invited us to dinner) mentioned he was also sober and had 4 years. I said “that’s awesome! I have a few years too!”. Eveyone else was pretty supportive and congratulated us.

We ended up having a great dinner and conversations for 2 and a half hours, zero awkwardness or judgments about not drinking, in fact, it was the opposite. This experience has been typical.

Also, I met a guy who was on the deadliest catch and he recited some poems who wrote, one that was featured on the show; that was pretty neat!

Anyhow, if you fear judgment for being sober, don’t, more people will be proud of you than not.

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