Calling myself what I am

My mind is all over the place and I know how to fix it, problem is a big part of me doesn’t want to fix it. Internally I’m so angry for no reason and I want to do something destructive. I bought a bottle of alcohol removed wine yesterday and had some. Smelled and tasted like my old wine problem. It was as ballsy as I’d let myself go. I have/had a support person but I’ve pushed him away so many times and complained so many times that I’m almost positive he’s checking out of this to so I won’t even bother him. This thread is sounding like a woe is me kinda thing, and I don’t want sympathy or a “pick yourself up and keep going” thing. Just venting until I can grow up and do what I need to do.


Word. Vent away. We’ve all been there…just angry at anyone and everything. In my recent experience, if you can get past a week without it, that shit starts to fade a bit. Never quite goes away, but it isn’t in your face poking you constantly.

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Ive been there… when I am angry at myself, people or the world I want to do something destructive, and mostly to myself!! After years and years of doing this i relaized it was just making me feel worse in the end and never solved anything.

Now, when I am angry, instead of going about it in a negative way, I tackle it head on in a postive manner. So lots of self care and anything that is healthy and positive for me. At first it felt pointless, didnt get results, still angry… but over time I started feeling better and once i was more positive, it just kind of stuck around.

Hope things get better for you!! Always good to vent and let things out

Thanks you guys.
I’m a huge fan of self care. The other night I was about to explode so I grabbed room spray, body wash and face wash in my favorite scent and it really chilled me out. I know to throw myself back into every bit of recovery I can but dang its hard to give in to healthy choices.
Thanks for listening, been helpful.