Can anyone help me get through step 8 Please?

Hi …
My name is Shellie & I’ve been on step 8 forever

My Soberity date is 12/11/20 & I’m getting frustrated because I have adhd and when I go to do step 8 I get overwhelmed & stop.

Could someone help me ? PLEASE :pray:

Thank you
Shellie

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So step 8 is just be willing to make amends to those we have harmed. We dont actually make the amends just yet (thats for step 9). You can find step 8 worksheets online but i basically made columns and filled out the columns on paper.

1st column… Look back on your life and relationships to see where you you have caused harm. Make sure to include yourself on this list bcuz we have harmed ourselves also. If you need help, Step 4 is also a good place to go back to, to discover those we have harmed.

2nd column… Next, write down what happened with each person and the harm that was caused. Reflect on the situation and acknowledge how you feel. Think of your reason for making the amends and what you hope to accomplish.

3rd column… Write down the amends u can make to them

By listing who we believe we have harmed, we are holding ourselves accountable. By admitting we are human and have made mistakes, we develop compassion for ourselves.

It can be a hard step because we are looking back at our wrong doings which is attached to alot of emotion. Fear was a big emotion for me during the step. Its important to NOT look ahead at step 9. Just literally focus on writing the names and situations down on paper. And i like said, make sure to write ur name down too :slight_smile:

For amends to those that u are not able to see (due to safety reasons or due to the passing of such person), writing a letter making an amends is great! These letters obviously dont get sent but if u are genuinely sincere about ur amends to that person on paper, that is a great start.

I also had businesses on my amends list who I had stolen from in one way or another, which in that case i had decided to donate money to a charity instead. These are just some suggestions. Ur sponsor may be able to help with this further :slight_smile: hope this helps tho!

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It helped me to hear that step 8 is just the list and the being willing. Not all persons and institutions on my list required active amends, for example some past lovers. My sponsor helped me sort that out.

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Your sponsor will help you with that ? its a simple step make alist and become willing bobs your uncle

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What is simple for you, @Ray_M_C_Laren, may be very difficult for others. We are all unique in our own sobriety journey, let’s not belittle other people’s struggle, shall we?

Question was about step 8 Not belittling anyone buddy ,its obvious you havnt sponsored anyone this step is as Dan and Dana said only need to be willing and then on to step 9 , sponsor and big book will explain this to anyone who is on the 12 step program. the question has been answered by the lovely folk on here and it coudlnt be much simpler explained .this was back in February when this was posted. ?