Then you are already well on your way! Use their guidance.
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Everyone sponsors differently, some do 100% socratic method, some are more directive, it doesnt mean any of their ways of sponsoring are invalid as long as they share the 12 steps the way they were shown them.
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I know a guy who runs his sponsees through the steps in a day, old school style. My sponsor didn’t give me a time frame. He told me to read or write. When I was done we went over it. He said if I wanted to stay sober then I would do the work. I know other guys who go very slowly. Some sponsors will take you back if you are stuck, others will move you forward. I wrote on steps 1,4, 8. Some sponsors use the big book, others the 12&12. So many possible ways to do it. But if you are doing it alone you are not going to get the results you want.
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You could, but why? Sponsors are touchstones. I can’t think of a more crucial time to stick close with your touchstone than during Step 4.
For me, following the program as written is strongly suggested. Sponsors offer me their experience, strength, hope & unique interpretation. But, I do recognize that not all sponsors are actively engaged, nor am I necessarily their top priority.
Having said that… it is my responsibility to work the steps. It is also my responsibility to progress. Coffee & meetings without intentional step work…are just coffee & bullsh#%. It is my responsibility to actively & intentionally choose sobriety, study the program & continually evolve & grow. No one else can or will do this for me. So I applaud your sober gut telling you it’s time to move on, listen to it. And if moving forward well, means doing so with a sponsor, then I’d try my best to find a sponsor who’s a good fit… immediately! There is no tomorrow in AA.
P.S. Congratulations btw, very exciting time. This is where the bigger changes & the magic really begin 
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The only must is a desire to stop drinking and even that is malleable. That has always been the attraction of the program for me and why it has taught me the lessons that it has.
While someone telling me that I couldn’t go to a meeting on my own, got me to AA. I had several experiences early of people telling me what I had to do that could have easily sent me out the door (meeting me and installing yourself as my sponsor for instance).
My sponsor has never told me i had to do anything or conditioned his help on requiring me to do anything. He never put arbitrary deadlines on things or threatened me that if i didn’t do it or didn’t do it his way, I was going to end up back out in the streets. That being said, I make meetings everyday and never had an overwhelming urge to drink. Nor do I need feel the need to consult about every life experience and seek his approval. The only way I can describe it is organic, as nothing about it forced.
While we can do a Step 4 on our own (or the equivalent with a therapist) – there is something in our literature that really sticks out to me in thinking about this… going it alone in spiritual matters is dangerous. For me – it is something more than that – going it alone, without another alcoholic, particularly one who is a little further down the road, is dangerous.
We drunks are gifted with this connection that allows us to understand what other drunks are feeling – many times b/c we have been there, but also b/c we share all of those same feelings, albeit on other things. It isn’t so hard to put ourselves in their shoes.
The difference for me is that I can mechanically and honestly do things – but that does not have any of the desired or intended results. It is only when I allow that other alcoholic to be an active participant in the process – and not just talk at them. For me, it was really understanding why we needed to share these experiences and the magic within us results from doing such.
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It’s just that I think I’m ready to do the step…I’m just not sure I’m ready for a sponsor. If that makes sense. Or I haven’t found one yet. But I suppose if I’m completely honest with myself I suspect that if I did find someone I wanted I don’t know if I would be able to walk up to them and ask them to sponsor me. I’m just REALLY uncomfortable doing that. You know how little kids can walk up to anyone and say “Hi. I’m so and so. Do you want to be my friend?” That was NEVER me. I’m a wallflower and need others to approach me. Yep…that’s my comfort zone and I KNOW that I have to get out of that zone. But it is soooo hard. It’s not like I can have a drink to give me courage here. HA HA HA!!!
Oddly, there are some really GREAT men at my meetings and a few I would LOVE to have them sponsor me. But that’s a no-no.
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Honestly, its not entirely unheard of. I know a few females who have male sponsors and males who have females. That being said, it’s worth taking a good look at motives before asking.
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I personally think it should be okay…but I was told that it was not allowed. Or at a minimum “highly frowned upon”. I think I’ll respect that.
I just really need to work on my communication confidence. I’m okay when people come up to me, but I can’t approach others. Maybe it’s because these men have approached me and welcomed me that I feel comfortable with them. I don’t think a single woman has come up to me at my regular meetings. I did have a few at the women’s meeting…but I felt uncomfortable there. That was nearly 2 months ago, now. I’m going to go back again this week and see if I’ve got more confidence with more time under my belt now.
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At the end of the day, it’s one drunk talking to another drunk, openly and honestly.
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I don’t know if I could “do” the steps, even 1-3, without a sponsor, because I wouldn’t know what to do. I guess one could get a workbook, but I don’t know that I would be thorough if I didn’t know I needed to share it with another person. For me, part of the taking away the shame of the past is to share these things with another person and receive encouragement in return.
My work with my sponsor involves reading from the big book together, going to meetings together, meeting and talking about the steps as from the big book and the 12&12, she gives me “assignments” and I write lots, then we meet and talk about it. We do this slowly, methodically and thoroughly, which makes me feel like I have a good foundation for the next one by the time we get there.
I spent like a month really working quite hard on step 1 with a lot of writing and reflection, which I think has helped me tremendously. I think I wrote about 8 pages and talked it all through with her. Same for 2 - lots of writing and discussion. But that is just what we do, and it works well for me. I tend to be the type of person that is keen to skip to the end and get things done, so this process of taking it slowly and deliberately is not something I would have done on my own. I need someone else to keep me in check, prod, challenge my assumptions, and direct me when she thinks I’m ready to move on (not just when I think I am ready).
It took me a while to find a sponsor. I was going to meetings every day (sometimes more than once a day) for two months before I felt like I found the right person. And it took me realising that there is no perfect person and that I was overthinking it. Part of the process, for me, is to get over myself enough to ask another person for help. That was a big and valuable lesson that this played a part in.
Another thing I found helpful was to share at a meeting “I am looking for a sponsor and would welcome any advice from anyone after the meeting about that process.” I also asked people I knew and trusted for advice, including some of the older timer men. They have been around a while and might be able to recommend someone.
I hope you find the path that works for you. 
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I do find step 4 confusing. I’ve looked at worksheets online and I’m not sure how to fill them out. I have ideas but will need guidance on how to work the ideas.
So, mostly I’m wondering if I can put together my ideas and when I find a sponsor use the ideas to guide our conversations.
I don’t think I can do the whole thing alone.
For what it is worth, my understanding is that none of the steps are intended to be done alone.
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I wouldn’t recommend doing ANY steps without a sponsor.
Especially the first three.
Ive been sponsoring for over 30 years and i advise you to get a sponsor , think youl have to make the effort if you wish to progress in the program , get a sponsor start the steps great journey ahead wish you well, just a thought is there no womans meeting in your area
What we can share (not direct a person to do) is our own experience, strength and how. I seldom listen to “advice”. I usually listen to sharing about what someone else has done and how that worked for them or not.
I try not to listen to my own advice. My best ideas got me arrested multiple times and earned my seat in AA.
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I’d recommend having a sponsor from step 1 although I did do step 1 on my own I went back and did it.
From my own personal experiences people cope a hell of a lot better with step 4 with support and it can be an emotional roller-coaster.
Im going though these issues myself. I have a new sponsor but we haven’t started the steps yet. I connect somewhat with her and respect her program, but I don’t know if I will be comfortable with going through the steps with her. Her emotions are very “in check”? I’m not sure I am describing it right. She doesn’t show her emotions very much. She wants to meet at Starbucks, too, which to me feels a little public (and, yes, I know I can say something about it to her! So I don’t need that advice! 
!)
Anyway I am supposed to get back to her about starting and I am honestly dreading it.
I loved my last sponsor and worked with her for over a year. But then she had some difficult life issues and became depeessed and could no longer sponsor me.
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I have an amazing sponsor. She makes me spend time on the steps. The further down the steps we get, the longer she makes me spend on them. She makes me take my time and it pissed me off at first, but now I’m glad she has taken her time with me because it’s sinking into my thick, alcoholic skull!! Our first time through the steps should be thorough and we will always have to work the steps. They never end. It helps us develop into better people everytime we work them. Work it cos you’re worth it!!!
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