Hi Sarah, I remember your posts over the last few days. I know how worried you are and how much you are struggling. First: good on you for reaching out. Never give up, never stop trying, never stop seeking recovery.
I can’t be your sponsor unfortunately but if you keep searching you will find one. Have you tried joining one of the alcohol / addiction recovery programs? There’s a good list here - there are meetings happening all over the place:
Resources for our recovery
Never give up Sarah. You’re a good person and you deserve a safe, sober life where you can be your full self! 