My wife of 18 years just left last Friday. I have broken her trust and put our kids in harms way. I want to have help for her to come back but I am not sure she will We went trhough this two years ago and I said I would be better but haven’t. i am having such a hard time dealing. I have have to the hospital put in a padded room, have had lots and lots of panic attacks and have gone to some dark places. I have lost about 15, 20lbs alreadynand I am try to manage daily life without her and my kids. I want them all back in my home but how do I fight.
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Welcome to TS 
Trust is built on action over time, doing recovery work, showing that you are serious about it.
What your wife will do or not do is out of your control. Focus on yourself, do the work, the rest will unfold.
You have to be sober for yourself, as you see trying it for others doesn’t work.
Read through ressources for recovery, get help, learn about addiction, built up a toolbox to deal with life, join a program. No shortcuts, no easy way, recovery is daily work, staying sober is easy: don’t pick up the first drink.
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Welcome.
Sobriety can help, but it’s not a guarantee it will fix your broken relationships.
Your choice to get sober has got to be intrinsically motivated. You got to do it as a favor for yourself. Not to try to win back your family.
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Welcome at TS Darrell,
I am sorry you are going through this rough patch right now and I am glad you reached out for help at the hospital. What your wife does or doesn`t do, is not within your power. But getting better yourself is. And it sounds, like now is the time to give it another go.
You`ve come to the right place for support. There are lots and lots of good people here who have gone through all sorts of life issues, leaning on the community. May I ask what addiction you are trying to grow out of?
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I am sorry everything is so tough right now. You fight to get yourself sober and healthy. Whether they come back to your home, or whether you have to make a new normal, is up to them. I do know that whatever happens, you will need the energy and clarity that sobriety brings. What have you tried to get sober so far? Most people need support and structure to get sober for good. Have you tried any programs like AA, Smart, Recovery Dharma? If you have been in the hospital have they suggested mental health services that you can use?
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