I feel like such a Debby downer lately. My mind is stuck on relapsing, which I’m trying real hard to avoid, but I feel like I can’t get myself together. My mind is a jumbled mess, I’m in a horrible funk and my sobriety is suffering from it. I don’t know how to pull myself out. Our dog was put down recently and I picked up his ashes today from the vet. This is all stemming from that. Anyone know a way to get out of this fog?
I’m sorry to hear your having a rough time. It’s ok to be sad! You just lost a beloved pet. I’m sure he/she loved you as much as you loved her/him. The last thing your beloved pet would want is you to suffer on their behalf. Your brain always had the comfort of numbing the pain with alcohol. Not to mention, destroying any fond memories you had of them. It’s not worth it.
For the brain fog: Assuming your eating healthy, taking the right vitamins and some cases supplements. Exercise really does help with the brain fog. It creates endorphins, that lifts you up. All that blood pumping helps to rejuvenate and bring oxygen to areas that need healing. Exercise also promotes sleep, which is also important for healing.
I also found solace in volunteering at a Animal non-kill shelter. This was my way of giving back in a good way to their memory.
Hang in there! We all empathize with your pain, and the negative thoughts to relapse. I’m sure you know alcohol only adds difficulty to the mental and emotional healing. Honor your pet with being the best you!
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It’s ok to be sad, just try not dwell on the negative thoughts so much to the point where it consumes you. Distract yourself at times if you have to. It doesnt mean you love(d) your dog any less. You’re just a whirlwind of emotions right now because of the recovery process, so just try to make that your #1 priority right now. Good luck
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Sorry to hear about your dog. Some great advice above. I would add meditation as a suggestion for something else to try to help give you some clarity and avoid letting thoughts consume you.
How long have you been sober?
I’ve always used art and journaling as an outlet when I’m craving… and just in general. So I’m doing that still.
I journal when the guilt and sadness becomes too much. So that does help a bit.
I’ve been sober for about 13 months now.
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That makes sense because one of the things I keep telling myself is that I know alcohol is a quick acting numbing tool that’ll help me forget, just for a moment. I really don’t want to throw away 13 solid months and go through withdrawal again. I know if I relapse, I’ll go hard. I just need to keep searching for that healthy coping mechanism that works for me.
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I’ve had my fair share of trying moments in the last year but this is definitely the hardest thing I’ve had to go through sober so I’m not surprised I haven’t found my sober coping mechanism yet. Haven’t had to explore that yet and my brain hasn’t had to not suggest drinking like this.
Hopefully that all makes sense, or my brain is just broken from all the abuse I’ve put it through
Lol
Maybe ameeting might help get new sober friends you can phone when you cant get yourself together wish you well
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First, 13 months is awesome!
How does journaling help you? Like ordering thoughts and helping with some self reflection? I find walking is my space to do that although obviously doesn’t give me anything to look back on.
If you haven’t tried meditation I would recommend it. Sometimes separating from thoughts is for the best. I use the Calm app but there is a thread on here with lots of meditations. Worth a try? Can’t hurt!
I’m really sorry to hear about the loss of your beloved family dog, everyone has a lot of very valid advice, mine I hope will help you today. With the grief you are feeling I’m not surprised you want a drink, we tend to want to mask our feelings and not deal with them, but it really doesn’t help, the grief will still be there tomorrow and the next day and the next day too, my advice is take your dogs ashes with you on a walk that you would have done with them before, yes it may upset you and if you want to cry then cry, let it out, don’t try and bottle how your feeling because if you do, the bottle got you. I hope you make it through the night, this forum is open 24hrs a day someone will be online to chat
By writing all my thoughts and feelings out on paper, it helps to get them out of my head. Plus I’m a visual learner and when I see my problems written out, I’m more likely to see a solution I wouldn’t be able to think of if I kept it all in my head.
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Thanks, I really like that idea. One thing I still can’t get use to is coming home and not being greeted by my dog jumping all over me. So for right now we have his box of ashes sitting on the counter by our garage door, so when we walk in, he’s still there to greet us. Sometimes I fist bump him on his name plaque.
Also I’m another day sober, so that’s some good news
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I’m glad you made it through another day sober, when my mum deals with grief she turns to her garden to make it through, she adds little trinkets to the garden for memories, for example she has a Betty boo name plaque with my aunties name attached to a pear tree. My dog scrappy is buried in the garden and has a dog statue resting by the spot almost like guarding him, I haven’t lived home for quite a few years but I know where he is, I feel contented knowing he’s nearby when I visit. My dog died some 14 years ago now, he was my first dog who came with me when I moved out and when he got old my mum and dad looked after him while I was in work, it will get better just takes time to adjust, sending hugs and happy thoughts
I understand how ur feeling about the loss of ur dog I Losy mine 5yrs ago it was honestly the hardest thing I ever went through unfortunately I was still drinking heavily then and it most definitely made things even worse. The advice that others have given is brilliant it is ok to feel sad and it’s natural to want to get away from that feeling but things do become easier with time and self kindness. Loss is a part of life our grief is our love for the one we have lost hold them in your memories and do them proud by keeping yourself sober. Finally a big well done to you for sharing on here how you feel and for your 13 months sober 
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I lost my best furry friend at 18 months sober. He was alive one minute and gone the next. Freed from his pain, I saw him leading and romping in the sky above the copse of pines where his body is buried.
His passing on helped me get in touch with my higher power. I understand now that everything, all matter and energy comes from one Source. Everything changes, all conditions change and pass into a different expression of the Source.
Still miss the big guy, though. That was 12 years ago and he still is and will forever be the best dog ever.
After treatment I had a lot of shame. I felt really low but I kept telling myself this will pass and was kind to myself. When I was tired I rested. When I was sad, I cried. I journaled, are healthy, started exercising again, connecting with new sober friends, doing the things I loved-spending time with family, my horse, kids/husband, reading, etc. I also gave myself permission to have alone time which I desperately need to recharge.
You are worth happiness and by doing happy things, it brings out the joy in life.
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