My significant other and I have been together 6 years and have been living with each other from day 1.I love her more than I love myself and have dedicated my entire being to making her happy.There isnt anything I wouldnt give her but sometimes I wonder WTF have i gotten myself into.I mean she does things like have dirty condoms floating in the toilet and says it came from one of the homeboys intentionally trying to make me mad WTF!!!When i get off of work its like 40 degrees out,which is cold to us angelenos, and she waits for me to walk through the door and turns the air conditioner up full blast WTF!!!I go to get dressed for the day and cant find anything to wear except what she wants me to wear(I mean she will hide all my left shoes and only the ones she wants me to wear are paired.)When I ask her where are all my fits she says I dont know whereever you left them WTF!!!God forbid if I let the person behind us ,ecspecially if they are a woman,go ahead of us in line.She will yell for all to hear that i am a nasty pervert who only wanted her to go infront so i can stare at her @$$.And that I am putting other females before her.Never mind the fact that she had no clue what she wanted and it is rude to hold up the line till she figured out what she wanted and the person behind us just so happened to be of the opposite sex.WTF!!!
What things do you go through with the one you care about that has you Like What The Fck.And how do you deal with them,because at this point I’m just stuck on What The Fck and really as much as i cant stand her ass I wouldnt have her any other way…Wtf
Relationships are complicated so simple answers are usually not sufficient. However, from the examples you’ve provided, it seems you two aren’t equal partners. Her behaviour shows signs of manipulation, gaslighting, blameshifting and dominance. That wtfs you’re having are sensible reactions to a behaviour that is out of place.
Are you able to have a conversation with her about these things?
I’ve been there, if you’re not married and don’t have children, run.
She is not treating you with any respect. You deserve better than to be treated this way.
It’s this part that makes me wonder if that’s part of the problem. I find that others value me to the same extent that I value myself. There’s a powerful word that I use to demonstrate that other people’s desires don’t exceed my own. That word is, “No.”
I’ve learned that my wife doesn’t want to be married to a spineless, weak, yes Man. She wants me to be strong, confident, ambitious, while being sensitive to her emotional spirit.
I’m willing to bet that your partner is doing all these things to test your reaction; to observe what kind of man you are inside. She may not even be consciously aware that she’s doing this. To pass all of these tests, your reaction needs to be a strong one.
Maybe you’ll find the book, No More Mr Nice Guy helpful. By Robert Glover. He encourages one to ask the question, “Why did I co-create this relationship?” What is it about me that chose to attach myself to such a person?
Also, I hope and assume that the dirty condoms were from you. If so, I would find a better place to dispose them so that she cannot discover or retrieve them.
Thanks for sharing
Lots of good input already I would like to echo.
This is not a healthy relationship.
Maybe you want to have a look at the term co-dependency, to me it sounds that this might be an issue, maybe for both of you.
Communication is core, so try to talk about the things in a calm way. To me boundaries are crossed when I read about hiding stuff and forcing certain behaviour in a manipulative way. That’s narcistic and a no go in any kind of relationship. Just my two pence.
If i knew the answers i wouldnt be here so i really appreciate everyones insight.Really I dont know which is worste sometimes her or getting loaded.They both have the same toxicity level at times.I did notice the more I do for her the more demanding she becomes,but then in my head im like if she doesnt get it from me then she will get it from somewhere else which makes me a sucker for a pretty face with a bad attitude.Plus she does know the extent i will go for her because i went on rampages while i was in my addiction over her.All she had to do was say somebody tried hurting her and i would go out yosimite sam style kicking up dust spitting my musket literally and i think she kinda got off on that,because most of the time it all would be a lie,but then i didnt give a fck.I would get loaded and forget all about it.Now im different and i dont quite know what i signed up for or have created you know.Either way i have to live with it and do whats right first for me and 2nd siince i have her best interest in mind her.Lastly for the record and this is where im drawing the line is NO the CONDOMS DID NOT come from ME!!!I do not own any.I came home one day went to the restroom lifted the toilet seat and there it was looking like one of those flotation devices at the pool…Either way i appreciate everybody and as long as i know what the solution isnt we can figure out what it is and i couldnt do that without ya’ll thanx