I have to start over again. Suprized no.has caught on yet. The most dangerous thing is when you’re good at hiding it.
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The part of me drinking. Not the covid. I followed all guidelines and got a person to deliver me whisky. I feel fine as far as covid is concern. I know us addics are different. Ive been coasting for a week now.
You start small you can go days or weeks but it always ends up in the same place.
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Welcome back. We can only hide our addictions from others for so long. In reality hiding it doesn’t matter. You have to want this for yourself. Was there a particular trigger? The best thing you can do now, especially with a virus is respect your body. Maybe try one of our zoom meetings on here soon? Not sure if you have already, but I’ve found it helpful. It might help with your feelings of isolation. Don’t give up 
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Good you are here, acknowledging what’s going on and hopefully ready to do something about it. You know where you are now and you know where you want to go. So let’s do it. One day at a time.
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You have to start small. Minute by minute. You’re going to overwhelm yourself thinking about the future. You don’t have to continue to be in the same place. We all know it’s easier said than done. It’s hard, but it’s worth it. I’ve reset my timer probably 60 times…this is the longest streak I’ve been sober in awhile, and it’s been about 10 days. You have day’s where you are literally white knuckling the shit trying to hold it together. You must remind yourself of how bad you feel when you drink. It’s easy to forget when you only have a day or two between hangovers to feel better. Every time I even think about drinking now, I think of the depression, anxiety, guilt I feel for making the same mistakes again. Sobriety can feel like an unattainable goal for us. Patience is key. You have to be patient with yourself. Stay here with us!!!
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Everything. All social gatherings. My grandmother passed on new years. I droped from 215 lbs to 198 lbs i ate a bowl of chex and had water.
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I’m sorry to hear about your grandmother 
Are you saying the social gatherings triggered you? Or that not having any social gatherings triggered you? Either one would make sense
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Im not sure at this point. I need sleep. Hydration. And support like this. I will be in contact and wrap up work i know im gonna pay for the lack of progeress i gotta get straight. Ill make up the work.
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Sleep, hydration and support sounds like a very good start to me. Have a good rest and let’s keep talking (later) ok? Success!
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Well you get some rest and fluids! I hope you recover quickly 
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It’s great that you’ve recognised it as an issue before other people noticed, for a long time I never thought I had an issue with drinking and only caught on when loved ones told me I needed to sort my shit out and by then I was always further down the hole than I thought I was. Hopefully you’ve been able to check yourself early. And it’s great that you’re here. Keep coming back!
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Drinking won’t help you fight Covid. It will just make you weak and it suppresses respiration which is the last thing you need with Covid. Get rid of the booze, drink water, do deep breathing breathing exercises and rest. Stop trying to kill yourself. I’m sorry for the loss of your grandmother but drinking won’t help that either. Feel better
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Dont hide it thats a risk with your life and the side effects of endless possibilities that can happen from it . We all been there we all havr relapsed at some point im relapsed so many times before i hit my milestones i just didnt know about this forum years ago but i would quit for 3 weeks back at it i would quit 6 months and back at it it was a never ending cycle until one day i had ENOUGH and took a stand found this forum and kept accountability from it its possible my friend stay strong keep checking in keep sharing keep opening up about were all here for you !
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" The most dangerous thing is when you’re good at hiding it."
I have always thought this myself. The most dangerous form of this disease is the form where no one notices how sick you really are.
But you notice, you see how cunning your addiction is, how much it needs to destroy you. I hid for years in plain sight as well, I know how clever that little voice in my head is. Forgive yourself and START OVER. Nothing is lost, only lessons learned.
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You said it key word, YET!!
You think no one knows, yet I’ve learned alot during my time in a step down program, one of the things I learned was before you drink or use your behavior changes, by the time you reach for the bottle you have already been on that road.
They know.
Once again a thought process. You think your good at hiding it.
When I was at home I told my GF oh I’m gonna cut back or stop my drinking, and I played that card. She would go to bed around 930, and I would leave my booze in the car, she went to sleep I always was up a bit late so it made no real oh he’s still up question. I’d drink to oblivion play video games, do some music work, work on my other side hustles. Put the empties in the recycling bin and come to bed, she knew I mean the bin wasn’t getting any lighter, it wasn’t until our failed attempt at counseling that she finally said it,
Now is the time to reflect, look at what works, what doesn’t, what causes you to drink what doesn’t. We do the zoom meetings here. And I’m sure there is plenty local for you, I know you can’t attend in person with COVID but it’s a start.
I been sober coming on 7 months, it’s the longest I have ever been sober, it started by a minute then double that, then a day then 2 days and so on, I fixate on time and the addict in us wants instant results,
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