I picked up cbd early this morning. Cbd us as med for lots of things. I did it today to kill my workday morning anxiety. Nothing bad came from it but it could tern out bad because of all my huge az responsibilities. I blame only myself fir picking it up once thismorning. It was cbd tincture with 0%thc
I told the wife i did it
She understands i have a lot on my shoulders
I hounestly did it when i was alone. It was the last 1 second i had be4 leaving the house for work. Thats all it took. It took just 1 second. Ill be awear of that next time. Ive been really stressed this week and i got weak to be hounest
Day 0.30 no form of marijuanna
Day 193 no vapes or ciggs
Day 262 no alcohol
Im glad u were honest friend. Thats important for our recovery. U had a good stretch behind u last time so that proves that u can do it! Sounds like the stress built up this week and it triggered that thought of using. What other things have u tried to relieve that stress? In the beginning of my recovery, stress was a MASSIVE trigger for me to use drugs. I had to try a variety of different things to see what worked for me. And i needed to take care of stress as it came up instead of letting it build up overtime. If i didnt take care of my daily stress in healthy ways, by the end of the week, my stress was like a mountain and i almost always caved bcuz it felt to be too much. Keep at it though. Dont let this sidetrack u too much
Here comes Derek from the land of unsolicited advice, but maybe with some first hand experience. I’m sure regardless of what I say at least one person out there will think I’m an asshole and that’s ok.
My dude, you are a month away from being by your wife’s side as she brings a child into this world. Being a father is both the best, and most stressful, thing I’ve ever done. If work is stressing you out now I really hope you have a better plan for when the kiddo gets here because life is getting harder. Personally I’d get to some real life meetings, raise my hand when they ask if anyone is coming back, and get some phone numbers. You are going to need them.
And you are going to need to get supports in place ahead of time because once the child is here you are not going to have time to find them. You also can’t be using your wife as your sober support once the kid gets here. No matter how stressed or tired you are she is going to be more tired and more stressed. Your job is to support her when that kid gets here. If you need support you need to come here, Or better yet, call people in real life.
Excellent advice,
I know it may be hard to walk into an aa meeting but it seems like it would be beneficial. Having sober friends irl will help a lot.
Skip the CBD, figure out something that works without reaching out for anything. And yes, mama is going to have her hands and head full!
Thank you all for not bashing me
I actually thought it was going to be bad and id have to just brush it off. The compassion helps with the examples first person
Have you done the steps? Meetings are great, but going through the steps is a whole thing in itself. I don’t think just meetings would have kept me sober. Of course, IRL is good, but I did all the steps online, it can be done if distance/time is an issue. I know some people burn their step stuff as a kind of ceremony, I have a document of all mine, I reread them recently and it was very powerful.
What I do for anxiety as a p w copious amounts of anxiety.
Weight lifting. (Any hard exercise will do I suppose)
Intense psychotherapy. No self help bs. The real deal. Face my shit.
Have trusting relationships and use support. (This is the hardest for me)
Journal.
Creative work.
Take care of other living beings than myself.
Daily routines.
Plan a lot of shit out.
Have a plan B I can follow if A is too hard. (I hate taking public transport. So I cycle. Works for me)
Supplements: l-theanine, l-tryptophane. Valerian.
Know my basic needs and take care of them every day.
I do 80% or more of these every single day.
Matt you didn’t get the CBD shit cos you got anxiety. You got it cos you’re an addict.
Deal w your anxiety. Find a way to live your life so you don’t need to act in your addiction.
Sounds like the stress built up this week and it triggered that thought of using. What other things have u tried to relieve that stress? In the beginning of my recovery, stress was a MASSIVE trigger for me to use drugs. I had to try a variety of different things to see what worked for me. And i needed to take care of stress as it came up instead of letting it build up overtime. If i didnt take care of my daily stress in healthy ways, by the end of the week, my stress was like a mountain and i almost always caved bcuz it felt to be too much. Keep at it though. Dont let this sidetrack u too much 
