Checking in day 13 - been of from work today catching up on cleaning and washing clothes. Feeling mostly relaxed. Yesterday i fell asleep with no audio in my ears (using headphones). Normally i cant do that because i have to many thoughts running around in my head, and not positive ones . I will try again next time im off from work where it doesnt matter, when i get to sleep. Cause it was such and amazing feeling not feeling the need to listen to something . My thoughts about alcohol though are starting to come on to me, telling me “it would be nice to just have a few drinks, with some friends” i know im not going to, but its pretty annoying thoughts to have in your head.
Im going to another meeting tomorrow, which is the first time in that group, so feel a bit nervous for that, but i always am with new things.
Goodnight everyone, have a great night/day. Stay strong
Day 467. Working the 10th step by writing out my daily inventory and sharing it in a group chat with other sober women. It is stirring up more than I thought it would. When I would just think about it, it was easy to get to the end of the day and feel like I was fine. The process of really putting my mind to it and identifying my resentments through the day is showing me different patterns. Like everything in my recovery, this is different to what I had imagined it would be.
Mr @DarrenUK - I see the fighty-smashy-kicky-punchy Manc-Lad is coming out again!
Remember that fight you had the last time you drank and woke up next to that dirty tinny of carlsberg? Okay, you probably dont remember it still BUT… I bet it didnt solve anything right?
I dont know what goes on in AA or what the etiquette is for addressing arrogance but I’d just say, probably best not to drag him out by his ear and slam his head against anything - the consequences of that are far worse for sure. Just dont put yourself in any danger or invite any trouble with the ol bill
Depends massively on the issue and the situation. My first go to when I am feeling disturbed is to do NOTHING. Usually my first instinct of “I need to take this into my own hands” is the wrong one - it never works well when I try to play God. I try to pause, which can be for months or weeks. Issues don’t need me to sort them out. The 10th step spiritual axiom is that if something is disturbing me, the issue is within me. So I try to take the time to examine what is bothering me and talk it through with others until I no longer feel emotional about the issue, before figuring out what, if anything, I want to do about it. If I am in a place of emotion, it is best to do nothing.
Oh, and this from the Big Book, page 552. It works for me every time:
“If you have resentment you want to be free of, if you will pray for the person or thing that you resent, you will be free. If you will ask in prayer for everything you want for yourself to be given to them, you will be free. Ask for their health, their prosperity, their happiness, and you will be free. Even when you don’t really want it for them and your prayers are only words and you don’t mean it, go ahead and do it anyway. Do it everyday for two weeks, and you will find you have come to mean it and to want it for them, and you will realize that where you used to feel bitterness and resentment and hatred, you now feel compassionate, understanding and love.”
There is a bloke at my meetings who I know we are either too different or to similar, everytime I speak he shuffles about and makes a huffing noise as if to say here we go again. So I sit right beside him, last night I told him how proud I was of him, he fucking hates it . There is no room for egos in recovery plus I like to freak him out by giving him encouragement from the most unlikely of places.
The meetings are time bound…strictly 1hr 30mins…so about 20mins for opening statement/check in/ agenda setting…60 mins for the agenda items…10 minutes checkout…roughly…
. My thoughts about alcohol though are starting to come on to me, telling me “it would be nice to just have a few drinks, with some friends” i know im not going to, but its pretty annoying thoughts to have in your head. 
Kari!!! Please feel better!!!
