Checking into day 39. Today is a new day. I will do a journal entry this morning to get my thoughts and feelings out, will take a shower, and March forward. Have a happy sober day all.
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You must be filled with all kinds of emotions today. How are you doing? 
Very nice!
Best of luck to you!
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Thanks everyone for the kind words. I have a strong real life sober network, but you guys are sometimes more important to me because I feel safe throwing out my crazy thoughts and feelings here at any hour of the day and know that you guys all have my back and are able to love me when I am not loving myself.
Thanks so much to those sending me thoughtful words that have made me feel better about myself: @Dejavu @MrCade @Eke @anon12657779 @Mno @Fireweed @Frantasticooo @anon2074485 @Kipper @Rose14 and Kairi (10 person tag limit!!!) - Kairi I was this morning texting Mandi about what is going on with the moon haha.
Wow, you all really make me feel loved. I did at least make my sponsor laugh this morning when I sent her this text (apols for TMI - but this shit is for realz): “And I started my period today, which might help to explain the intensity of the emotions last night and this morning. Feelings won’t kill me but hormones might!!!”
I am going through a phase of my journey where I am examining past patterns in inter-personal relationships - it is messy and unpleasant and I am feeling grief for myself to see how desperately my actions were driven by low self-worth. This is probably one of the hardest pieces of the puzzle for me, but also the most important. This is the thing that caused me this morning before my meeting to find a quiet place and get down on my knees and in utter desperation say “Please HP, release me from fear and insecurity, please give me strength and courage.” It is the first time I felt compelled to the kind of desperate “please help me” prayer.
Anyway, I feel a bit of relief now. Things are still gloomy, but I know they will be ok.
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You look wicked sharp. I will be thinking of you today - please let us know how it goes. You are an absolute champion, my dear friend. 
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Sending positive vibes your way today! Looking sharp 
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Depressed and very lonely. 59 days and its feels like what ever. Cant see joy in life.
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You look great. Good luck today! We’re rooting for you. 
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Ish, so sorry you are feeling this way today. You should be so proud of yourself. Tomorrow you will be celebrating 60 days! You are not alone. We are all here for you. Sending hugs. Xx
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Hey @Ish
How long have you been feeling this way?
It’s very common for us to have random sad days. I remember getting them kinda regularly when I was at 60 days. It gets better, I promise.
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Keep on the sober path, Ish. You aren’t alone 
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@Ish you are doing so so well, I’m so proud of you. This is a HARD journey, but so so worth it. We are becoming better versions of ourselves in the struggle 
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I dont wanna drink. Im soooooo f#&&€ lonely. I can cry. Im on antidepresives. My Ex found out where we live and I am loosing streght. I cant live life like this. Everyone sooo happy round. I feel crap and so sad. Not a person to call
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Just wanna hug someone and that someone tells me its gonna be all ok soon 
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I’ve got hugs for you. It will be ok. This will pass. Stay strong and trust us when we tell you it gets better.
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The joy will come back Ish. Life is full of ups and downs. In early sobriety this is sometimes overwhelming. Be good to yourself, have your fav. food or tv show or read. Or, if really everything sucks, go to bed and sleep the bad thoughts away.
You’ve got this 
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Day 20.
Just came back from the resto where I did all my drinking. I paid my last bill to them and told the owner I stopped drinking. He asked ‘how long?’ and was surprised but supportive when I said permanently. When I told him he’s really going to notice my absence money wise he said he didn’t care he just wants me to be healthy. I’ve 
going there since 2007, it’s a family run Italian resto and I feel like I’m leaving family 
(the one I like 
).
To all of you hurting today, this too shall pass, take care of your sweet selves and stay sober. I love you guys 
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@aircircle glad you’re feeling better! Was just thinking yesterday I wish I didn’t have to deal the constant fluctuation of hormones. Birth control does seem to help a little- took a few months to work, but I’ve noticed a small difference. I also appreciate you very much. You are very loved and respected by so many here
- Feeling much better today/less anxious about my current home and financial situation. Just putting it out here helped tremendously. I have a realtor coming out tomorrow… I’m curious as to what he will suggest. My plan as of now (and this could change a few more times
) is to wait until February to sell. Spoke with the SO last night and told him why I want to sell… to downsize and to be able to afford more opportunities for my kids and I. So he now has some idea. As far as the drinking goes I like the idea of telling him if he questions me in the future as to why I’m passing on a drink… “I don’t like who I am when I drink anymore and can easily get carried away- even when trying to moderate”. This could change too lol, but settling on this response for now 
Hope you sober peeps have a wonderful day! 
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