I hope this is your last day one, hang in there! I know the feeling all too well, but I have surrendered completely to alcohol. AA meeting for me and a 12 step program. Good luck to you!
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Day 356… TGIMFF amirite!!! Holy shit what a week, glad it’s over. I’ve been having little sleep since Baby Penny and this morning it was dark, and I was tired and inadvertently put my undies on backwards. Not inside out, ass backwards!! Didn’t notice until I was halfway through my day at work. Oops. Picked the wrong day to wear a thong… 
Stay beautiful gang.
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@funnydad, I have no words that could help you through those difficult moments. I did want to thank you for the ways you’ve dedicated your life to being in the service of others. I’m honored to have made even this small connection to you.
I did want to remind you that the heroes in our lives are never perfect. They’re all flawed. I know it is difficult to recognize those heroic traits in ourselves. But you exemplify service and you show empathy to anyone who you come across. More than anyone here, you’re cut from the toughest yet humble cloth. Others definitely see the greatness in you and I see it even more so because I know the battle you fight every day to be better than the day before. Those nostalgic feelings don’t draw away from that at all. You’re human and your story is so important. Thanks for sharing!
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Just switched my teen to a time release ADHD drug & it’s really helping. I encourage you to talk to your doctor. There are so many non - stimulant choices. They may not work AS effectively but they COULD give you at least a little relief from the constant “brain noise”. It’s worth looking into if you’re miserable. But not worth a relapse for sure. Best of luck in finding something that works for you!
Felt bad for myself this morning, and like I was a failure. It seems like everything I do, I fuck up somehow. I pulled myself out of that funk after a few hours and got back after it. I will just focus on what I can do now which is become fluent in Japanese. I’m still a few years away from that point, which always seems to be the case, but it’s the best option, given the alternatives.
I went to my therapist today too. It’s hard because I have to really work to get into to anything serious. Her primary concerns are whether my appetite is normal, and if I am sleeping ok. Outside of that it’s head nodding, smiles, and trying to wrap up the session. I don’t know if I can find anyone better in my current location. Thanks for reading. Stay strong, stay sober all!
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- Good coffee. Working weekend, busy weekend. Busy in my head but not in a bad way right now. Thinking clear, uninterrupted by stupid drinking or its residual effects. Love to be sober and clean. Have a great sober day all! Love from Amsterdam.
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Thank you! I am seriously considering starting aa. It’s the only thing I haven’t tried.
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Thank You Mitch, from my heart , you’ve just made a great difference in how I sometimes see things. I dont cry, but if I did I would now. Thank You for those words.
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It is hard, but every day you push trough is never coming back. And life will be better in a while, it’s really worth the fight @MissJules!
Congratulations @Betterbee! 
You are getting better and better you little
Awesome numbers Mr @Frank68! 
Have a great weekend too! 🙋
I would definitely try to find a replacement for your therapist if I were you 
It’s worth a try @anon89892515.
@funnydad, hope you can keep your focus besides this emotional days of grief and lost 
How are you doing @Seiren? Hope you feel a bit better, be nice to yourself. First weeks are tough, maybe some extra sleep or warm bath with Epson salt to relax a bit?
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Day 289. I was going to write a post about myself. But after just reading my good friend Chris’ post @funnydad, I simply do not want to. There mere thought of what you did, and what you went through, and what you must continue to struggle with puts me in tears. While we all watched in horror and sadness and grief for days on end, you were there, in the flesh, doing the impossible work. One of a cast of thousands of heroes, performing countless unthinkable miracles. I’ve wondered a million times what it would have been like to have been at the towers that day, and the weeks after. To have made the choice to go in when others were fleeing for their lives. To know that you might have a one-way ticket. To have lost so many, so close to you and so quickly. And then again to lose them slowly over the years to related illness and disease. To see the shock and trauma on the faces of the survivors and the deaths of thousands of civilians. To see triage unfold on the streets of Manhattan. I’ve wondered if for the people there who lost friends, and colleagues, and loved ones, if this just plays on an endless loop in your minds, a never ending nightmare. Like all heroes, you reject the word. And you don’t need to embrace it. But besides what you did during that time, let me tell you exactly why you are one of my heroes. It’s because in spite of it all, over a year ago you still chose the harder path. It’s what you do. You could have spent the rest of your days drinking it all down. But you didn’t. After all this trauma, you still hold onto the belief that there is more work to be done. For yourself, for your family, for your surviving friends, and the ones who have fallen. And you are the man to do it. Fuckin-a-right Chris.
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Day 362☕
Horrible day at work yesterday, a real friday the 13th. A co worker makes a big mistake envolving money in my store. Not on purpose. But she didn’t asked for my help when she doesn’t understand what she were doing so she did it again…and again 
So she made that same mistake 5 times in a row! Involving loads of money 
I couldn’t solve the problem so I phoned around. But all the high staffed persons I needed were having their weekend allready. What a surprise (not!). The helpdesk promised to help me and would phone be back (but they didn’t). My areamanager was having the day off, etc.
So at the end of the day at 21.00 houre I only could shot my shop with a negative amount of money 
When I walked home I had huge cravings. So I ate a bowl of cashewnuts in the hope that helped. It didn’t so I went to bed.
Today I have to work again. Hope I can fix it today. But yesterday is gone, today is a new day!
Thank you all for being here and being a part of my recovery!!
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@SoberWalker oh no this absolutely sucks. I hope you can fix this problem quickly especially when there is so much money involved…
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Hope so too! 
- Checking in, kinda on the edge of anxiety. Does anyone else feel when they’re mindfully trying to release toxic thoughts and energy that anxiety is not really being released but more so just lurking around the corner waiting to appear again? I know this is the path I need to be on, but this is a lot of work and very exhausting.
Undoing the foundation on which I built my beliefs has been so much more beneficial than I thought…I thought mediation was just having an empty mind, but I’m seeing now that it’s so much more. I had started my spiritual journey when I was 12. And I feel I’ve found my path again. I’m reading a book I read when I was 19, which is bringing back a lot of memories: The Book of Secrets by Deepak Chopra. More and more I’m coming home to myself and it feels really peaceful.
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Checking day 315 …still have toothache and now I have a cold …oh the joy 
…have a great weekend people …remember 1 day at time …you are all champions 
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These dreams are normal. Disconcerting, but normal!
Horrible feeling when one wakes up.
You’re doing great and telling friends is a great step forward. Be proud of what you are doing. Personally, right or wrongly, in the past I have felt superior when I have been around drunk friends. I don’t let it show, but when I look at the way they are behaving, I can’t help but think like that.
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Welcome back ! Stay strong, you can do it !
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Wow. Tom!
Awesome buddy just fucking awesome!
Thank you for putting the words that I couldn’t find together like that. You are a wonderful person.
I just felt I had to say this.
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So sorry for you. Hope that everything will be sorted and solved today with no consequence for you. Stay strong, we are here for you. Big hugs ftom Belgium 
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