530, it’s really nice being back with my sons after vacation. I feel better about my sobriety since being home as well. Really felt I was two steps away from a drink for a big part of that trip… Which puts relapse into perspective for me. Kinda weird because I assumed the road to relapse would be long and filled with a lot of terrible circumstances. But it felt like it all caught up with me in only a few days and I was really in a place of craving and trying to justify drinking so much.
My everyday life (post drinking) feels really unlucky lately…or was I just REALLY lucky before? My car was broken into this morning, well they got in because I guess it was unlocked? Either way it’s still a violation of my space and I hate it.
I guess once I have the opportunity, I’m going to minimize everything and focus on what’s truly important and that’s my kids, my time and my health. 9 month plan to shed my stress however possible.
Day 211
It’s 2:30 a.m. Some odd dream woke me. Having some water, checking in, and then back to sleep…I hope.
Going to help #3 son and his fiance pick out wedding invitations, and measure her for her dress in the morning. Then my daughter has her first marching band competition of the season for the rest of the day. It’s a huge thing run by band parents, so I have some volunteering to do. Crossing fingers my knee doesn’t blow out because this will be the most I’ve attempted to do in 4 months. The fear of that pain again is very real.
For all of you who are struggling today, know that you are heard and you are valued.
No, I don’t think it would be. There are some absolute fuck wits out there! They just don’t get it at all! I HATE rude people, there is just no need. Those ladies on the desk at your sons school are clearly loving their job…stuff em! We just try and rise above it but sometimes you feel you just gotta let them have it, hot and sweet! Next time, pee in a water bottle and take it to the desk and ask them to put it in the bin for you…they’ll understand once they feel the ‘warmth’ of the contents! …no compassion or respect in the world today! …cor, that’s my rant over lol x
Sometimes it shows more courage and bravery to have your say, deep breath and walk away than to waste your good energy into negative energy and listen to there moaning/ranting. You done very well and it’s been done now so try to move on and not let it ruin your day
Day 116. Going to be a challenging weekend. I’m traveling to see my family for a couple of days and this is always a trigger for me. There will be difficult conversations and emotional situations that I’ll have to deal with while there. I’ll make through.
Are you ready to stop? Are you willing to do whatever it takes to get sober and stay sober?
It took me many attempts to fool myself. I was never honest, completely, with the guy in the mirror. But when I was ready, I was ready. I used Antabuse and AA and counseling and accountability and intensive outpatient treatment. As much as my life before was about drinking, that was the energy I put into getting sober. My #1 job was to get to bed sober each night. And it still is.
Good morning, 4 days down and starting day 5. I’m also 1 day Bulimia free. In the past I focused on drinking first, but I feel ready to try and conquer both together. Bulimia is way harder for me. But as we can see by my recent slips, drinking ain’t easy either. However, I can barely make an hour or two without the other. I’m an anorexic bulimic, which is weird and complex and ugh. I won’t go too into it, but I’m super proud of my 4 days and my 1 day.
Happy sober Saturday all and I’ll be lurking away on here all throughout the day for strength
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…no compassion or respect in the world today! …cor, that’s my rant over lol x
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