Day 9 today had a strange cravings last night the addict in me was like yea Natalie your feeling better you can use again… that nasty other voice in my head needs to do one ! Im so greatful i have a bit of experience where I know 2ed time round what to expect. Keeping my gard up at all times . Wishing every one a beautiful day x x x
17 Likes
- American hotel coffee. Hm. Saw Fink play an intimate acoustic solo set in Austin last night. It was great. A lot of drink is drunk in the US too during life shows. I wasn’t triggered. Life is much better clean and sober. Only thing not so cool was it was seated so I kept nodding off. On to Colorado in a couple of hours. Have a great day all! Clean and sober love from Austin.
23 Likes
20 days checking in!
Had a thought yesterday that solidified my understanding of my struggle with compulsive overeating.
My dogs have different abilities and requirements to manage their food.
One is self-regulating and can freely feed from a trough of kibble & treats. He never eats too much. He hides treats that he cannot eat for later. And he often forgets about the stash.
The other dog would eat until he died if he had access to a trough of food. He would die of bloat from gluttony.
This is why some of us people have to manage our lives differently than others who are able to be moderate.
I am not envious of those people because I realize I have abilities they lack by being an all or nothing type.
Just as I measure one dog’s food and deliver his treats in a reasonable way, I must do the same for myself because my overeating could kill me.
That’s why I’m a recovering addict.
I’m like this silly sandwich snatcher!
20 Likes
Good morning all,
Just checking into day 74.
12 Likes
Makes perfect sense. While everyone else is dragging around after a big night my out I am running circles around them.
1 Like
Day 26.
Whopper of a day yesterday. It is amazing how much stuff can be packed into a single day! However, the longer I go the better I am able to cope. Sleep is restorative, stress levels are down, and I have a feeling of calm. All of this helps me survive the stress onslaught daily. I did get on the bike last night. It is getting dark too early though.
A little bit of Halloween 
for you all on hump day.
19 Likes
Day 219. Interesting last couple of days. Celebrated my bday weekend in a beautiful cabin on the lake. The whole time a close friend of mine was having a nervous breakdown and was awol and very manic. Nothing I could do from far away. On Sunday morning she was admitted to the hospital. I took another close friend of mine who has bipolar issues and has been in her shoes with me to visit. I was nervous about bringing her but I am so glad I did. This friend had so much knowledge and said things straight you know. My friend that is in the hospital is in denial about her mental state BUT she did admit to both of us who are recovering addicts that she has a drinking problem and wants us to take her to a meeting.
The friend I brought with me calls AA « fight club »! So we are taking her to fight club on Sunday. I am so relieved to help my friend but on the other hand it is really scary watching
someone unravel.
On another note, had an endoscopy yesterday. Not going to lie, was worried about being administered drugs but the addict in me was looking forward to the buzz. There was no way around it. The sedation had not fully kicked it as they were shoving the scope down my throat and I tried to pull it out twice. I woke up after in recovery. Awful memory that one is.
Long story short: post procedure impression by GI = celiac.
Thanks as always for listening.
17 Likes
Well today is 6 days sober. I am going to my first AA meeting in a little bit. So nervous, my anxiety is through the roof this morning. I’ve never done well in groups and social settings. But I’m determined to go and not talk myself out of it.
20 Likes
Day 10. Really wish I was hourly… called in to work again, but thankful, since I know my behavior sucks when home alone.
14 Likes
I was a total mess the day I walked into aa … but the moment i sat it the room I finally felt I belong somewhere that for the first time ever people understood my pain and struggling. I’m so proud your being so brave. I wish you the best please let us know how you got on x
7 Likes
Where are you visiting in Colorado? That’s my neighborhood 
3 Likes
Congrats on 1 week sober. I also have to keep my number growing. I am on day 10 again. Cant wait till I finaly reach 2 weeks… But for now we just don’t drink today! 
6 Likes
Last week I went to my first meeting and I was realy nervous. Tomorrow I go to my second meeting and I am realy looking forward to it. I am realy bad in social setting aswell… but this is different…Those people are like you and me. If I can do it… you can do it for sure. Wish you all the best
2 Likes
You can do it!! I understand about being nervous. But usually it’s never as scary as our mind can imagine.
3 Likes
Day 139- today is really poo, got some horrid news yesterday which feels like I’ve been hit by a bus load of sadness, anxiety, fear and grief. My head hurts and I cant stomach food, but I made it to my yoga mat for a teeny yin practice, which feels like a massive accomplishment, 140 days ago I would be have reacted very differently and for that I’m proud and thankful. Being sober is not going to fix this turmoil but it will undoubtedly help me work through it. Just offloading really, thanks for listening 
Edit- I’m ok guys, dont worry just being a bit of a drama queen and a little overwhelmed. X
26 Likes
First of all congrats on 139 dear 
I’m sorry to hear you got bad news. Biiig hug. Wish you strength 
2 Likes
Thank you
2 Likes
So sorry you’ve received some terrible news. I understand how heavy that can weigh on you. Good work making it to 139 & getting on that yoga mat! Sending a hug your way. Hope the rest of day/night looks up. 
3 Likes
Thank you lovely, this will pass, just tricky feeling things without numbering them.
4 Likes
Day 3. Nothing special about it other than I’m sober and not as much of a train wreck i guess lol.
9 Likes