Your allowed to feel like crap lovely lady. Your going through alot. And your so amazing for getting through this soba I’m proud of you. Always here if u need a chat x
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Well done! 
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2 months… great achievement!
Gefeliciteerd! 
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Serious congratulations on 139 days. So proud of you.
If I’d got my act together, I’d be there with you! But I’m not.
So very sorry that you’re having to deal with horrid news. Take care 
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Day 578.
Out of town for a compliance audit today so I decided to check in again to keep me accountable. Isolating is not ideal for me and I’ve been doing that a lot lately. Tricky balance! While I am here, I have both nights with social gatherings planned. I will absolutely not drink, but man, I’m suprised that thought even crossed my mind. Ridiculous how deep this addiction runs!
On the positive side, it’s fall in Maine and a GORGEOUS time to travel!
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James, hang in there buddy.
We’re all rootin’ for ya.
I’m glad you caught a break.
Sometimes when I’m depressed, instead of fighting it or trying to feel better, I savor it.
I think of all the time I spent numb and without emotion. I tell myself I’m lucky to experience human sorrow, right now, and then I sort of try to feel it more… If that makes sense.
With me, there’s like a finite amount of sadness that I can feel before I use it all up.
So, sometimes, I just spend it all as fast as possible. For what it’s worth, I’m happy you’re sober and sad; not drunk and happy.
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No booze in the house
Walking
Isolating myself
Bingeing on Netflix or whatever
Chai latte
Gardening if I can… all help me.
Cooking
Going out to eat
Hanging out
Talking to my family
Regrets…don’t.
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Those 
thoughts are a bitch! But at least you have recognised them. That’s awesome. Play that tape to the end… What happens if you take a pill? I bet it doesn’t feel good for long.
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You will get here soon I know you will 
And thank you
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Great work getting some yoga in. That means I definitely have to get on the mat this evening! 
Sorry to hear you had some shitty news but it’s so good that you find some gratitude in there. You are just awesome 
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Oooh chai latte. Good call!
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Ahh thank you very sweet. Enjoy your yoga
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So at work today we were talking about our plans for this evening and they were all just go home, have dinner, go to bed. We were laughing at how vanilla that is and someone set us all a challenge to do something exciting. I think it speaks volumes about me that I just got excited about the idea of making up a chai mix 
(seriously though, good call @LuluJo).
I am pretty sad that this is where I’m at. I resent the fact that I want a social life but can’t see it happening because have to spend days recouperating after a busy weekend. I hate that I find it difficult to do the things I want to do when I’m fired up, I start off with all these ideas and optimism and then just end up in a heap not able to do anything. And then feeling bad about myself for not making a dent on the to do list I created, let alone the basic shit I’m supposed to do around the house.
I know this is all very first world problems and I am really annoyed at myself for being so affected by something so trivial. I need to work out how to get on a different path because I keep coming back to this headspace and it suuucks.
For now baking some spices, mixing them with warm milk and hibernating on the sofa will have to do.
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Sitting in the parking lot trying to muster up the courage to go in now. Kinda freaking out a little bit.
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Ditto!
My brain won’t shut off, so many things I want to do.
Lists, oh, hell yeah the lists.
I hear you. Hang in there. Hope your mix is awesome that you will be pleased with yourself. Feeling good about ourselves is crucial. Cheers to the Vanilla Chai Latte Mix. I just made myself fresh ginger Chai. Trying to avoid the inevitable cold that I can feel in my bones.
Much love.
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Headed north for my bday in a few weeks. I wanted to go back to our cabin in Maine from earlier this year. I could go back there for all my vacations, I liked it that much (I guess the name ‘Vacationland’ came from somewhere, right?)
We decided to try something new though, so Vermont it is. The place itself is more modern than I like, but I’m on this trip for free, so no complaints! I’m sure it’ll be great. First time in Vermont in about 15 years or so.
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Being alone is a trigger for me too. It’s so important to be able to identify your most vulnerable moments in advance! Good on you for making plans and preparing yourself! If you need anything please ask. Sending a big hug and loads of support from Australia! You can do it! 
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Day 23. The man at the shop just asked if I have shares in chocolate companies because I buy so much of them since quitting 
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Where in Vermont are you going? I lived there for close to 30 years. Love and miss Vermont! Great time of year to visit!!
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