Havent been on here nearly as much as I’d like to be. Not really doing the greatest recovery wise but I’m still plugging away at it 
going to make today a productive one. Started my day off on here, will do my readings, and get some exercise in. I’ve been in sort of a depressed state the past 2 days, sleeping alot, not getting much done. So I need to pull myself out of that and get back to living life. Thanks for being here recovery fam.
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I’m proud of you for your honesty and commitment… 
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Day 19. Woke up feeling kinda down and cranky this morning and I can’t shake the feeling. Trying to decide what I can do about it, but for the moment I’m just sitting with it. Cooking something usually helps, but after making huevos rancheros for breakfast I’m still stuck.
We had pizza last night. While we were discussing our Friday night dinner options, I told my husband if we have pizza I’m really gonna want a beer, especially because I know you’re gonna drink beer and pizza goes with beer. He said, how many days do you have? I said 18, and as soon as I said it out loud, the urge left me. It was so surprising to me that he would be a source of accountability for me. I will say I have complicated feelings about it, but I’ll take it for whatever it’s worth.
Maybe I need to bake some cookies.
Today I’m grateful for:
- the sun shine returning
- Wait, Wait, Don’t Tell Me on NPR
- Kitchen/cooking therapy
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Baking cookies is good for the soul…plus, they are yummy.
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Stay positive, it’s hard times right now and the world has got a bad vibe atm but dig deep and we can dance to the beat of our own drum, quote,. I’ve given up looking at the world to make me happy, we gotta look at ourselves.
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Do sit with it, it’s just a random thought you don’t even have to agree with it, great sober days BTW.
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Thanks for that ur so right tho about finding that happiness within ourselves. I need to work on that too 
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Thanks for reaching out. It really helps to even hear my thoughts repeated back for validation or a different spin on the ideas, a fresh perspective. Hope you’re hanging in there, too. Onward!
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Yes! And a first time baking without booze is another personal milestone. Maybe I should start calling these my “personal bests” I like the sound of that. We are super sober athletes, 
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Take care & be kind to yourself. Sleeping a lot is actually common in the early weeks (even months). You’ve been out of whack so much, the body needs to recover. Draw a bath, make some tea. Take naps. It’s ok - you’re doing what’s right for you 
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Thank you Matt ya my eating and sleeping schedule have been all out of sorts. That does explain alot. I think some self care is in need. How are you doing?
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That’s amazing! You’re inspiring!!! 
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Heyyy i just realized something
I got my first full week sober in a few hours
My sobriety date is 3/14/2020 at 4pm
I forgot i wrote my sobrety date and time in my phone calender
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Wow way to go! That’s awesome! Cant wait to get there myself keep up the good work!
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Thank you so much
You are very inspiering in the best way possible
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Thank you so much for that! Needed an uplifting comment today
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Pretty good. I’ve passed the pink cloud of early sobriety and I am in kind of a transition time. I need to do my stepwork more regularly. My therapist asked me at our last session whether my neglect of things like my calendar, my finances, and my tasks (including stepwork & others) might actually be a cry for attention. (I have been doing similar things neglecting homework and self-management tasks since I was at least 12.) It got me thinking. I wonder now, if I say, “I want to be _____”, then I can say, ok, tomorrow at this time I’m doing ____ because that is part of the plan. And a plan with day-by-day, measurable steps inevitably leads to growth (obviously we can’t see perfectly what will happen, but we know if we work a plan, some type of growth will happen).
So I am working on practicing kind persistence with myself. I am setting reasonable goals with landmarks so I can sense my growth, and I will schedule rewards for myself. Things like:
- 50% of dinner plate is veggies
- prepare a calendar for the next week, by end of day on Friday
- schedule time daily to do my stepwork
- when I do feel distracted away from stepwork or other tasks, journal about it (journal about my feelings, fears, sense of abandonment, and thoughts)
I know these have been things I’ve neglected. I think I’ll learn about why I’ve neglected these things, by trying them for a week, and seeing what I learn.
How about you? What are you finding out about yourself these days?
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Day 192
I’ve been doing a lot of reading on here and not so much commenting. All of you inspire me to keep going. I was mildly depressed and anxious before everything started getting shut down but now that we’re being encouraged to stay home as much as possible and the kids don’t have school the depression and anxiety are full blown. It’s a daily struggle to just get out of bed and do the things that need to get done. I’m thankful I’m sober right now and don’t have to worry about where to get my next drink. I’m thankful I still have a job. I’m thankful no one in my family is sick. I’m trying to focus on gratitude and doing the next right thing. Sometimes I just don’t know what that is. Please keep sharing here and keep fighting for your sobriety people. It matters.
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18 days.
Going on a hike outside of the city in the middle of nowhere.
Sobriety is not the hard part for me, what I’m struggling with is processing my emotions clear headed.
Before life was kind of a blank canvas with ups.ajd downs that were hardly felt. Sober, I feel EVERYTHING…and it’s really hard.
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