Day 112! Today was much better, and I’m excited for tomorrow 
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Morning nmy lovelys 
day 130 I have tbh I’m struggling started to gamble again lastnight £200 down also eating aloads of shit and feel like shits BC of this and also had fleeting thoughts of what it would be like if I used ,I always try to spin every negative to a positive but today I’m struggling ,also I don’t do that I’m positive thing just to save face that’s actually me as a person that’s my character.lv you all ,I’ve barred myself from so many GAMBALING site but I always seem to find more when the chips are down EXCUSE THE PUN get it chips are down 
Anyho it is what it is today I’m aware and I need to move forward but I’m soooooo pissed of with myself.
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Checking in day 362 no alcohol day 273 no drugs day 102 no pmo struggling today
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Ummmmmm not to sure on this …we cant rely on will alone but it does have a massive part to play in my recovery for sure .
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hi em, apart from hitting you on the head with my stupid stick, which I’m always beating myself with BTW, maybe it’s time to take the gambling as serious as you have your other addictions, there must be such thing as gambling anonymous, you you’ve done amazing with everything else so I know you can do anything when you put your mind to it. Failing that give me all your gambling money and I’ll give it back in 6 months, fuck you’d be rich. 
Don’t go back to using, I can 100% promise you that what you think your looking for isn’t there anymore. You know I know, you no I’m no better off for relapsing, you know I live with regret, you know I wouldn’t wish this on my worst enemy, you have absolutely nothing to gain from the experience so why would you do it.
It’s not idle words from a compulsive relapser, it the voice of experience so I suggest you take me seriously on this one.
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Day 73 Check-in
Nothing to report really same old day… Wishing everyone congrats who made it through another day and strength for those who are struggling. Wish I could articulate better and offer words of wisdom, but not good at that kind of stuff as such an introvert. All I can say personally, my relapses were countless before here. I joined here and read all the forums NEVER posting for a month or so until I felt the seed of “wanting” to stop. I have for now. But still not convinced. Weird journey this addiction lark.
Take care all and keep safe 
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trust me you don’t need to say anything, you don’t go unnoticed.
For me personally I know your watching and it’s appreciated more than you think. Well done on your sober days, yeah it’s tricky some days and those are the days you find out who you are and with all those days you’ve got stacked up it tells me everything I need to know about you. I hope you see what I see. 
.
thank you, no I dont see what you see, but thats because I not used to seeing any good in me, but I know and confident I am slowly repairing. you are so full of wisdom!
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Well if you know I’m full of wisdom then you know what I say is true about you. . That’s just logical.
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Day 12, been quite busy since starting this, might take it easy today
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Checking in today. Day 1.
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Hey Paul love you loads ads and r spect your r sponse,the GAMBALING is a voidance it seems to happen when I’m not dealing with other things in my life so it only pops up lesser and lesser but still has a big impact when it does ,I’m working on myself daily and I feel na is enough without chucking another one in the mix ATM ,this is why I needed to work the steps so I can iron out the inner workings of myself much more In depth but you know the story there I’m 
aware of what I’m doing and hopefully it’s a 24 hr fuck it momment and IL get bk on it that’s my plan anyhow.big love and respect.
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This is beautiful .xx
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Checking in on day 3! Stay strong everyone!
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I haven’t yet, but it’s on my list. Probably going to watch it this weekend.
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Day 59, feeling a lil spunkier and back to myself today. Woke up late for work, this is like the third time now. And it really makes me down on myself when I do, sober Mike shouldn’t be waking up late for work. How come everyone else can manage to be a adult:(. My boss understood tho, bc my step dad cut the tip of his finger off last night and had to go the er, so it did kind of throw off everything for me. My two girls didn’t want to go to bed, they finally were to bed around 10. But I just couldn’t fall asleep still, it was about 130 again when I did. Still gonna try to stay positive, everything is going to be ok. I do know if I wasn’t sober, this would all be much much worse. That’s all I geuss for this morning, have a good sober Thursday
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You can do it stay strong dear friend
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Mike, you are killing it everyday. Stop being so hard on yourself. Sober Mike isn’t sober for hundreds of days Mike. We have to relearn ALL the things in life from the ground up. That means learning healthy sleep habits, how to prioritize, how to make healthy decisions starting at the very basics. We do this by living and learning from our experiences, be they mistakes or not. You drank and drugged for years and years. You can’t possibly, reasonably think that will all change in 59 days.
You are soooo like me, we want to fix all the things like yesterday. Well, it don’t work that way. Acceptance. Progress not perfection. You went to bed sober last night, it was a good day. Today will be the same. Do what you do, get through the day, learn something new about life and yourself, and assess the things. This is how change happens, from experience.
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Checking in on day 15. Finally some sunshine to wake up to, it’s been gloomy and super depressing between all the CV stuff and the gray weather. Sending strength and love to all who need it, have a wonderful Wednesday everyone
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