It’s a little early for my check-in but I liked this quote!
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Hello everyone,
So just began my day 10 (though im on my way to bed). Today have been a day of mixed feelings. It all started with a bad nights sleep with two nightmares that woke me up crying (my bf was at work this night so i was all alone - absolutely hates sleeping alone). When he came home i woke up and he went to bed. I went to get my antabuse and was told i looked so good and fresh since my last relapse. I got really happy, never really get any compliments, Ofcourse from my bf, but towards/concerned my addiction i dont, so that i felt very good about and they said i was doing very good. My boyfriend is good to give me compliments about Everything but my addiction. When i got home from my addictioncenter i made a cup of coffee or three and baked buns that was just ready when my bf woke up. Later today i got filled up with hurtfull feelings:
"Oh well so i have some feelings/ emotions /thoughts to share today.
Okay so here it goes:
Why do i even do this. Nobody trust me anymore and nobody believe in me anymore. I have lost tons of people. Even my parents has pushed me away. Or at least thats what i think/ feel. They dont call really, but pick up their phone when i call. Mum says she loves me every time we hang up. Havent spoke with my dad since before last relapse. Kind of miss him alot we used to talk about Everything. So was this it has i really lost them to. Why even do this or fight for this when you have a feeling that their will be another relapse. When nobody believes me and i hardly believe myself whats its worth?
Well i know part of the answer is you feel better sober, you are more healthy sober, but why does sober then feel so shitty."
But after writing with some friends on here thanks @RosaCanDo and @Beasley10 my evening ended better.
So Goodnight everyone 
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Thanks for sharing your thoughts and feelings D. You’re putting in the work. You’re building a better life and a better future for yourself. Working on gaining back everybody’s trust. Your own in the first place. Good work. Good night. Hugs.
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Not bad. I am starting to feel more confident in my sobriety. I had a 30-day stretch in December, but a rough period in January-February. But I am approaching 30 days again, and feeling different: calmer, more self-aware, not so harsh with myself (more reasonable). Ironically being less harsh is making sobriety easier 
- it’s softer, gentler, more in the moment.
I’m happy to see you here. You have put in so much effort and you are not giving up. That is such a valuable choice. Thanks for sharing your journey with us 
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This is exactly how I feel: “At one time I found myself rich with gifts, but now I have come to love the poverty of the passions. I have become a stranger to the virtues and departed for the distant land of corruption. I am half dead; I have only a tiny remnant of life in me. Because I am this way by mine own free choice, I cannot even raise mine eyes to the kindhearted Lord. Lament, O blessed and righteous ones, for me who am caught in the embrace of passions and sin.” Ephraim the Syrian
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I totally understand. I have felt that way many times before, and it sucks and is SO demotivating. But like u so perceptively said, YOU feel better when sober, and that is who u are being sober for, YOU, so it is irrelevant if people believe in u or not.
Day 104
Re compliments and people believing in me. My husband has said not one word about my improvement. You can bet he said plenty everytime I drank, and still refers back to my drinking during arguments. His first word when he comes thru the door from work is “are u ok?”, i.e. are u sober? But there are signs he believes in me. I have my purse back. There is beer in the fridge. He is going out with his friend tonite so I will be home alone.
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Day 3 almost over!
Feeling kind of lonley at home, thinking about moving in at my moms for a couple of weeks just to get company and support.
Will sleep on that and make a decision tomorrow.
Sleep well all (all in Europe)
Good night 
I love this app and forum, so much inspiration from all lovley and kind Members here!
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One week down today! 
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I cried today. Cried outloud. Felt good. I can’t and won’t pack anymore I promised myself many months ago. Got no room. I will just unpack and throw away the boxes. It felt good to listen to music, sober, checking out the news, posting, listening to books. I can’t sleep and decided to stop fighting it.
Greatful for this platform and the loving members.
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Day 7 without alcohol… took my first nap yesterday! I thought naps werent possible for me! New hobby alert!
@Lola 1000 days is incredible!!
@RosaCanDo congrats on your 30 days, I missed it yesterday! Way to go!
@Beardy_McTallman I feel you on not hyper focusing on recovery. It has really consumed me A LOT this past year. Also just coming to terms that I AM an alcoholic I feel like I am finally beginning to accept that I cannot drink. Period. I say that now but I also have 0 cravings atm. I feel really done with it right now.
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Day 515. I did what I could of my daily routine today and yesterday. That’s my step 1 of climbing out of this depressed hole I’m in. It’s hard only because it has to be done without feeling motivated first. Feeling better and motivated is the last step, unfortunately. Tomorrow, I’m going to go back to my to-do list and try knocking some things off if it. 
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I am so grateful to have 87 days ! Just checking in! This is such a wonderful community, and its just awesome to have this forum of different topics that I can relate and share in. I am grateful for everyone here…Thanks
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Great numbers!!! You are doing great!!!
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Autumn, great job getting to one week!!! You are doing great!!! Keep posting and keep the days rolling!!
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Thank you, and my congrats to you on the 7 days!
@CapriciousCapricorn
Letting go of perfection feels really good. I found this on my own sometime last year. I couldn’t put my finger on it until your post. It is really liberating and removes such a burden. So happy you found this as well. I think everyone has to find it their own way.
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#Day 10
Morning peepz
This is not gonna be a beautiful and sober-toned post. Im apologizing beforehanded and hope it doesnt trig anyone im just very angry this early morning and im not even sure its right of me to feel this way.
Please tell me if im too much but gotta let this out:
Im so f#cking sick and tired of waking up morning after morning crying, being hurt and sick to my stomach. Not feeling worthy of my life, feeling very abandon and lonely. Guess thats two words for the same.
Got a fuck it all- mentality this morning. Damn im angry.
I guess im better of with a couple of hours more sleep, cause this isnt very productive and positive thoughts/feelings to wake up with.
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Be proud of pushing through the not wanting to and doing the things you did. You’re moving in the right direction. Keep doing the next right thing and the best you can. That’s all you can do. Hugs and well wishes. So proud of you for not giving up!
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