I’m so sorry to hear that. It must have been very hard. I can hear how worried you were
If you don’t mind me saying, it sounds like you’re taking a lot of this on yourself. Be kind to yourself and try to reframe it a bit. In this particular case - you could probably even “play the tape” a bit on this and say, worst case with these water dinosaurs, you throw the kid in the car and take him to the emergency room, he gets a bad stomachache, and learns he shoulda listened to his damn mom. All of a sudden you’re mother of the year and he learns a healthy lesson in the school of hard knocks
Most important though, remember you’re not responsible for keeping everything perfect. Society places all these heavily unbalanced expectations on women to be the ones keeping everything organized and balanced. It’s bullshit. And you don’t have to beat yourself up because our culture makes us think these sexist patterns are healthy. (They’re not.)
That’s a rough spot for you love. But you’re still a good person, you obviously love your family and everyone, and no sane person is going to say you failed. You are a good person, you are good enough, and you deserve a safe life where you can receive as much care and consideration as you give. Take care - and be gentle with yourself (and remind your husband to be gentle with you too)
Day 2 checking in. Uneventful day of working from home.
@CapriciousCapricorn Thanks, great insight. @Natnat and @Clarity Sorry to hear of the reset but the positive is you got right back to it. I’m there with you. @aircircle Happy birthday Ariel, Have a wonderful, sober celebration!
Happy birthday Ariel! You have always inspired me. Thank you for being you and a solid rock in this forum.
I was at a birthday party too. I have been sober for several months. I don’t count days because then it becomes a compulsive project. I just accepted a sober life. Drinking is not an option. The rosé
bottles were flying all over and I had two club sodas. They tried to pour a glass for me too. It wasn’t hard to do, I had no cravings or desire to drink. They all know that I drink. I said I am taking medication for my cold sores, which is true but normally that never stopped me from drinking. I just don’t know how to be around people where I used to drink with. I don’t want to say I quit because I know that if I relapse it will mean nothing. Don’t know what to do. How to come out without declaring something. I think it is much easier not to socialise. That is my best bet. I am a loner anyway.
Day 627
Goodmorning TS people, feeling stressed so time for a check in. Stressed about work and having difficulties to perspective.
There are big changes coming up at work and I’m worrying about them. Can’t see on front if it are good changes ore bad, I have to wait and see.
It’s not in my hands.
But letting it go is hard
200 Days: Feeling pretty good after 200 days of being sober. Have noticed some real changes, most of them are good. My overall outlook on life has greatly improved, depression episodes have pretty much disappeared, my memory improvement is remarkable, it’s amazing what you remember when you’re not passing out every night. Work is going extremely well, finally recieved a nice raise and will be moving this month to a house closer to my kids high school so I will be able to spend even more time with them.
Being present, mentally, every day is a blessing. No longer planning my days and activities based on how much I will be able to drink is freeing and refreshing. My relationship with my family has vastly improved and I am happy and secure with who I am becoming.
I do not miss alcohol and my hope and plan is to never have it be a part of my life again.
I say hope because I have been here before, but I was naive. I relapsed after 18 months of being sober because I thought I could handle it. I was so wrong. I still fantasized about drinking, but those fantasies are gone now. I like the sober me and I know and accept that I can’t and don’t drink.
As always I appreciate the support of this community. It was and still is a huge support for me. For all those struggling please just keep fighting, better days are definitely yours to be had, just take it one day at a time.
Sending a little love to everyone! Let’s all get one more day!!
Checking in sober on day 50. I’m going to my first physical meeting tonight. I thought it might be best, as there are only 20 people allowed to join with the restrictions and I want to get used to being there before it’ll be 70 people per meeting again. I’ve also started doing service at the online meeting in my fellowship to make sure I’ll have to stay in touch and be accountable.
I don’t feel social at all these (past few) days, so after tonight’s meeting I’ll be taking some time off to just spend with myself, getting my spirits and energy back. Tonight is the Full Moon, so good time for releasing all that no longer serves me and to start working on Step 1.
My one day weekend is here. Outside some much needed rain. I’ve got a video meeting coming up to hear if the centre for treatment of personality disorders has put a label on me and has anything to offer in the way of treatment. I’m nervous as shit. Still got 4 hours to wait and will probably drink a another liter of coffee At least I’m sober and clean. Have a good day all. Love from Amsterdam.
@Conor689908 Soldier along Conor. Your sobriety is a huge asset during hard times and never forget it. @SoberWalker Glad to see you Claudia. Touching base here is an excellent tool in dealing with stress. Hope all works out for you friend. @Clarity Happy you and your family are safe. And glad you’re here and fighting to be sober. Addiction will take anything to convince you to go back to it. Somehow we need to learn we never need it for nothing at all. It just doesn’t help. @Hidden Great post and great numbers Chris! Very happy for you. Congrats. @Flamestar Good going Maartje! Gefeliciteerd met 50 dagen. Sounds to me you got yourself sorted pretty well at the moment. @LuluJo It’s a balance I think. I’m a loner too but I need some friends and some interactions or I’ll go nuts. I sometimes go to places where people drink, but I go much less frequent and I stay for much less time because as soon as people start getting drunk it’s just no fun no more. And on telling others I’m sober: it’s my thing and nobody’s else’s. The closer people are to me the more I tell and vice versa. If people ask they’ll get an honest answer too. It’s my thing and it’s good practice material for me to try and not care how others think about me.
Nice accomplishment.
