Had a heavy day… check in / out
Still ok but beïng home and more dependant sucks like a donkeys ass
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Speak out, shout out, share and help or just ventilat
Day 1 sober. Super tired. But sober
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282 Days. Finding balance while setting healthy boundaries has been a challenge. My niece has lupus and lives 2 1/2 hours away without traffic. I offered to help her when covid started. I go every 4 weeks and do all her errands and shopping. I was going on Thursday nights but it was too much with work and family. Instead of telling her “no”, I said I would come on Saturday when I’m not working. It took all day today. I didn’t take into account how many more people are back on the road and in the stores. Now I’m having to give up an awesome Saturday morning AA zoom meeting, taking care of my own house and Saturday afternoon TS meeting. Do I go back to doing it Thurs night which leaves me totally exhausted?
In my using days, I would always make up excuses to avoid having to do things for others. All my time was spent trying to get my DOC while working full-time and keeping up with my family’s needs. When I stopped using, I promised I would do more for others and stop being selfish with my time. I feel like I’m not getting enough time to spend on my sobriety but I don’t wanna fall back into being selfish with my time either.
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Maybe you could get her groceries delivered… or make a night of it and have your family go…
That’s a long day for sure…
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That’s a really tough one. I think what @anon79808082 said would be a good alternative. Just the drive with no traffic is five hours and then the time you are there. I think it’s incredibly selfless what you are doing, but if it interferes with your sobriety in anyway, might be time to try a creative solution. At the risk of sounding cliche, gotta put the gas mask on you first.
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She has to take narcotics for pain and with all the strict laws, I need to pick up her script from the dr and take it to the pharmacy in person. There’s no way around it. I could probably have the groceries delivered to save me time. I do take my daughter and we have fun listening to music so that’s a plus. My husband would never go though. lol
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Does anyone else help her, are there services available for shut ins?
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That’s a good idea; I had a cancerous tumor removed once and I had people from my town helping me with hot food deliveries, rent and other necessities. It was a place affiliated with the United Way.
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Day 340. Today was the last workout of the 9 week program I was doing. Finished strong with a 10 pound deadlift PR…so now I’m at 340 pounds. Stoked!
Solid day overall. We’ve been having “camp” weekend, where we’re watching camp themed movies, like Friday the 13th, Ernest Goes to Camp, etc…and eating “camp food” like smores and hot dogs… good times.
Have a strong day!!!
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Lisa, that is incredibly kind and selfless of you with all that is going on. I hope that maybe you can find your aunt other help in her town. That’s a lot for you to deal with during a work week, and goodness knows we need our weekends just to catch up.
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Day 601.
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She used to live in NJ and moved to PA about 6 months ago. She doesn’t know anyone there yet. She still comes back to NJ to see all her doctors. I’m gonna have her do some research to see what services are available there. Thank you for the suggestion.
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I would think for people with high risk of catching Covid, which she would be one, since she has lupus, there may be some covid services offered. Also I don’t know how old your niece is but there are good Services through the Council on Aging as well. You might even want to check with the Lupus Foundation they may have special services for the high-risk patients meals delivered, food delivered and maybe prescriptions as well. I have several high risk friends now who do all their doctor’s appointments through telemedicine so they don’t have to get out and go for their doctor’s appointments. It works great. So she could keep her doctors if she wants but doesn’t have to travel to go see them.
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Thank you for all these great suggestions. She’s 44 and involved with the lupus foundation but never mentioned she could use some assistance. I think she got too comfortable having me do it all. I really need to be honest about how time consuming it is for me and have her see what help she can get from these organizations.
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Aw thank you so much. It’s the great support I get from people like you that keeps me positive. Every time I post, I get such great feedback and suggestions. I love this forum and all you wonderful people. 
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Checking in, late for me, but happy and healthy - approaching almost half a week. Previous attempt? I got caught up on the numbers, thinking they would never stack up fast enough. Truth be told, if the moments are sober, some hard - some beautiful, I don’t want my days to go that fast, for life to go that fast. And so I will celebrate the days past, but focus on living each day, each moment - present and sober. To be here, now, and look forward to the future at the same time. I hope that makes sense…!
Thurs and Fri workdays blended, almost an all-nighter between them, which isn’t good, but was necessary. By end-Friday I was exhausted, and “old me” would have rewarded myself with you-know-what. New me had a bath after dinner and went to bed while the sun was still in the sky… who knew it could be that easy? 
A good long sleep. I thought I’d join you all on zoom, but I woke with energy to tackle chores around home, and nicely lost track of time… I think this will be important for me and my journey. It’s taken a long time to learn not to apologize for being massively introverted, but in earlier, healthier days, I could easily spend a full 24 hours to myself each weekend - sober - and I know I need to return to this, to be able to listen to my own voice, if that makes sense. So you might find me quiet at times, as I know some of you are as well - but I’ll reach out if/when I need to, as I know you will too. Tonight was fun - another virtual concert as I cooked up some food for my week ahead.
I see that I missed a lot while I was away!
@Apes2020 yep, getting groceries is the excitement of the week! Getting them delivered was oddly more fun than I thought, but there is some kind of renewed “ooo - picking out my own food is fun!” at the grocery store. I am totally overstimulated by the choices!
@anon79808082 Your machine thing… ouch…
@Lisa07 I will keep sending good strong onion-eating healing vibes to your sisters! And, as far as I see it, many others have said the same, you have to look out for your own health before you can look out for anyone else’s… even if that means taking the day and saying no now and then. Soooo much easier for me to tell you that than to do it myself… and @Girlinterrupted If I had a nickel every time my dear therapist told me to put my own oxygen mask on first? 
Hope you had an amazing time with your daughter tonight. I had a lot of those nights with my Mom and you are giving her good memories to draw from for years…
@ifs Nothing short of simply, brilliantly, amazing…
@Mno About your posts yesterday… I’ve noticed this kind of thing in myself. That I sometimes stay too long when I know I need to do the leaving - be it job, relationship, friendship even - it’s like I stay to sabotage it, and sabotage a healthy, successful, ending - thinking I might then not have to take full responsibility for the ending? Only to - in the end - have to take responsibility for not taking responsibility? I’m not sure if that is what you were describing, but if so - you’re not alone. At least the good thing with life is that it doesn’t get boring… we still get to keep learning about ourselves 
I hope your job transition goes smoothly. Glad you had a fine dinner out. I’ve come to accept that wine always smells better than it tastes!
@Fargesia_murielae Re - you and dinner and spilled cappos and feeling “not good enough” but working through it all, and returning a 0.3% IPA… you are a class act.
@MrsOdh I too live in a part of the world with spotty wifi and bugs aplenty! Hang in there.
@CapriciousCapricorn the pic of your dog on the beach? I sometimes think dogs are better people than people…! (I’m sure the cat people feel the same about their cats… I’ll give them that!)
Good night all. Thanks for being here! Stay healthy and focused and true to yourselves -
M 
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