You’re not a failure at all Emm. You’re facing this very triggering situation sober and you are devising ways to come through it sober too. You are actually dealing with all this instead of drowning your problems in drinking. You’re dealing with this like a himan being that is thinking and acting in a responsible grown up way. Yay you! Have a good walk with your pup. Do you have deet to ward of the mosquitos? Works for me. Youi are doing great friend. You’re moving forward. Keep going. Hugs.