Day 62.
Got myself into a bit of a funk today. It is the Sunday after 2 weeks’ vacation, after all, but normally I don’t mind returning to work. I think the sober aspect to the vacation allowed for some clarity… I’ve used school and work in the past as my numbing agent - keeping too busy to feel the feels, and earning respect or worth externally instead of from myself. And lets face it, society (here) tends to say “good for you” instead of “hey addict, get help." Also, In my current position, the workload has been super heavy, we’ve been working from home, and there is a lot of job uncertainty for many – so I haven’t been setting the boundaries with work that I should have.
Got myself out of the funk by making a plan. I’m going to start a new counter tomorrow – “overtime”. I will still allow for up to 1hr/day overtime (no evenings or weekends) only if needed, but no more than 10hrs/month, and I’ll let senior mgmt know what I can’t get done so they can re-prioritize my projects if needed. AND, I won’t apologize for what doesn’t get done. Seems simple, but I’m already a bit wary…!
I guess I just realize how precious time is, now that I have some sober days. Oh, and I also have a lot of memes to catch up!
Thanks for listening. Thanks for sharing your days and your wins and your woes. Wishing you all a beautiful day or a beautiful rest until tomorrow.
@MrsOdh and @BobIsGone it’s so good to see you both back here. @anon60334405 phew, is all I can say. Dads are human too, you know. My Dad yelled as I think all Dads do, and I still love him to the moon and back…
You made my day @anon79808082! Huge Congrats!! Thank you for being here and supporting each and every one of us. Your strength and determination is admirable. Love you.
I’m about a half hour from day 700. I’ve been reading a lot of posts throughout the day/night. Many are talking about suicide/suicidal thoughts. It seems like an unusual amount or maybe some energy I’m sending out is attracting me to these post. Either way, I’ve been in a weird headspace this month - I haven’t written about it. I’m feeling simultaneously the best I’ve ever felt and extremely depressed at the same time. It’s a weird space to be in. And I don’t even have real reason for the depression. It’s just there. My point of bringing this up is that I have been suicidal at points in my life, I have felt hopeless, I have felt like there literally is nothing good in my life. But I want you all to know that you are worth being here. You are worth living another day and another one after that. Believe me, depression is a terrible monster and it’s sometimes impossible to see the good but I promise it’s there if you just hold on. I hope everyone is doing ok. I hope everyone is staying strong.
Flew for 8 hours today. Then napped for 4 hours. My wife had the house all clean and organized so I could just relax when I got home. I start work tomorrow at a company I previously worked for in 2019. I’m sure there will be awkward conversations galore. People will just be curious about my abrupt departure last year and what I’ve been doing since then. I feel unprepared for those conversations, which just means I haven’t spent a ton of time rehearsing every single conversational scenario I can dream up. That’s probably a good thing. I can work myself into a tizzy going over hypothetical situations.
I thought maybe I missed your 90 day mark. I been seeing people congratulating you. Looks like I’m only 5 hours late to the party. Congratulations friend. I’m so excited for ya.
Wow, I admire your standing. Someone acting towards me or my kid that way would for sure face problems, fiance or not, health issues or not. I send you good vibes
346 Days. No complaints from me which is very unusual but I’ll take it. I had a nice quiet day at the pool with my daughter. Hubby made tacos for dinner and then I watched TV. I’m proud of myself for not getting anxious over a long tough work week ahead. I’m learning to live in the moment and worry about tomorrow when it gets here.
