Congratulations Courtney on 7 months!! Thank you for sharing your journey with us. Enjoy your Sunday/Funday and I hope your Pats win.
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Thanks so much 
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Woot woot 
Thank you!!
Well done on 7 months, Courtney!
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Thanks Chris 
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Ah Beth I’m going through this too … I’ve never been on my own before now!!! We can do this !!! We’re stronger then ever today cos of recovery. Big hugs my friend x
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Strange day so far today, had a fair bit of anxiety earlier and had some thoughts but worked against them.
Was in my parents for half the week and then back to my apartment this evening as I’m in the office for three days. Think it might have been based on being back in a town after a few days away (people, places and things).
Strangely, once I got back I don’t really have the anxiety.
Stupid head 
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A close call… well, sort of, anyway.
In my kitchen drawer, I found this bar of chocolate with the little blobs of alcohol inside. I’m sure that you all know what I mean ! For a while, I rationalised that each piece only has a minuscule amount of alcohol (which is of course true), and I was tempted to have a couple of pieces. It would have probably amounted to less than a teaspoon of alcohol, but… I decided not to.
So, I crunched them up and threw them away…
I was tempted, mind you…
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Well his loss is the world’s gain. I don’t think you realise just how strong you are. Life has a plan for you and I for one can’t wait to see it unfold.
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Fuck the alcohol, I can’t believe you treated chocolate like that 
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Well, if they have to put alcohol in it, it CAN’T be the best quality chocolate in the world.
I do live in Switzerland, after all, good chocolate isn’t hard to find !!
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So very true. Hate you’re going through it too. But we will come out stronger. You’re really doing great and you know how inspiring you are to me. Much love dear friend 
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Day 249!
Things are stable right now. Playing a lot of guitar and watching some cool shows.
I’m happy with my new life. I can finally explore myself and be me!
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Day 713
I haven’t “checked in” in a while - I’ve been in a pretty bad way and actually almost caved in last week. The same night I helped the drunk girl which I wrote about when I checked in was actually the same night I almost caved. I have been really struggling in my personal life with a lot that’s been going on and that argument with my mom after helping that girl just got to me. My stress level was off the charts. Normally, when i get stressed angry upset or sad drinking isn’t even on my mind. I’ve gotten to a place where that is no longer a coping mechanism I desire or use. I have felt extremely comfortable in my sobriety and those around me trust that I will ask for help if I do need it. Well, my friends were trying to get my mind off things, we were on the deck playing card games. But they were all drinking except my boyfriend, he was drinking ice tea and I had my NA wine. I went in the kitchen to get my NA wine and it took everything in me not to swap it out with the real wine our friends were drinking. Like literally physically it took everything in me. I just stood in the kitchen and for the 1st time in a long time I wanted to drink. Nothing else mattered to me… it didn’t matter that I was less than a month away from 2 years sober, it didn’t matter that I got through my uncles death and 2 of my friends deaths in 3 weeks of each other, it didnt matter Ive gotten through every holiday, every bad day, every good day, every moment in the past 700+ days without a drink. All i could think of was wanting to drink and get drunk. I went back outside with my glass and I could see it on my boyfriend’s face that he saw something was wrong, I could tell he was trying to figure out if it was NA wine or regular wine but he didn’t say anything. When the night was coming to an end, I went to my boyfriend and said “I drank my NA wine. I didn’t drink but I really wanted to” he told me that for the first time he was worried about me drinking again. I told him how much it helped that he wasn’t drinking, how much i appreciated it and the support he gave me. So, today I can say I have 713 days and I am so incredibly grateful for that. I proved to myself how strong I truly am and how much I’ve gone through to prove that NOTHING is worth losing my sobriety over.
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I don’t keep up with this thread often so I don’t know about your situation with the drunk girl, but I did read this post of yours. I am so glad you didn’t drink and so sorry you have been struggling. I know that milestones have always been tricky for me, and perhaps that is what is going on here as well. I do hope you are feeling more solid. You have worked so hard Brook, so very hard.
Please be gentle with yourself Brook and take care of your stress level…maybe some self care/nurturing is needed? Please know as well I am always here if you need an ear. You are strong and capable.
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Day 6. So far I’ve went to the gym and the grocery store. Made myself a nice breakfast and lunch. Went to the dog park with a friend. Now just watching some football. If I can make it through tomorrow, I’m buying myself a new headlamp for hiking. I plan on doing all kinds of big hikes next summer, after I get back into shape. Feeling good today!
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My eyes teared up reading this, @Brookiemonster618. I know how hard it can be to be that honest in a moment like that, and also how very, very important it is. Especially with those it makes the most difference with.
However hard it was, I can’t overstate how amazing that is. And how great it is you have someone so supportive of your life in sobriety.
Glad you made it through, if just one more day. The rest will pass. 
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