I appreciate it, Mike. Onward. 
- Coffee. Bad night. Itās raining. Need to get out and work. At least Iām sober and clean. And working. Sundays means a 60% bonus
. Have a good Sunday all. Love from Amsterdam and Buena Vista CO, one year ago.
ā¦ With cake @siand 
You get to cut the first piece 
Iām so proud of your daily successes. All 888.88 of them.
You are also a great contributor and moderator 
Day 103.
A good day. Had a visit with Mom ā it went better because I went into it in a better frame of mind. Said goodbye and then I took the dog girl to a community garden that Mom and I used to walk at often ā was comforting. Stopped off at my fave little bookstore and spent some cash, about the equivalent of a case of wine.
Lotsa good lookinā numbers out there ā and despite the long list, I know Iām forgetting some!
@TSan happy 2 weeks!
@heather923 happy one month! thatās huge. 
@Misokatsu happy 60 days! I so appreciate you on this forum. Letās take the good days and the meh days and do this thing together 
@anon28001181 and you too! Happy for you and your days and your constant commitment to tame this beast. And you know Iām gonna askā¦ howās the beard? 
@CATMANCAM 2 months too!
@Luckyredz and @Rockstar24777 120 days. Whoa. Amazing.
@Siand not sure I can count that high! Congrats. Thank you for all of your encouragement and thoughtful responses - these mean a great deal to me.
Gānight ā big love to all 
I hope things with your parents go well in the days to come. Family stuff is hard! But not worth losing your sobriety and all the gains youāve made. Please reach out here if you feel triggered, ok?
Itās always good to see you here, but I get that time spent on this forum needs to be spent elsewhere, and I hope those humans appreciate you as much as we do 
Congratulations on your one month. Thatās fantastic.
Great job. 
Day 241~ Canāt sleep. Iām emotionally drained and broken. There will forever be a hole in my heart. I know sadly from experience it takes time to mend but being in the now and feeling the pain is hard. I stayed strong most of the day but coming home earlier and not having my boy greet me at the door hit me like a ton of bricks. I canāt bring myself to move his bed or food dishes.
Losing our loved ones is the most heart wrenching thing to go through in life. I read a quote earlier and itās so trueā¦ a dog is the only thing on earth that will love you more than itās self. My precious boyā¦ he was such a lover. Iām so thankful for all your love and support it really means so much. 
I thank God 
Iām sober right now and able to be present for my family.
I had to get a new sponsor because my last one had to go away on business. But I know God put my new sponsor in my life for a reason. He has almost 30 years sober and is one of the founding members of my A.A home group so I believe Iām in good hands. Iām seeing that I have to be as much involved in A.A as I possibly can to continue growing and changing. Itās not easy but itās better then what I use to be and I get so much out of doing A.A. everyone have a blessed sober night
Iām so sorry Courtney. It hurts. Badly. You did what was right for your sweet boy. Weāre here for you. Big hugs.
@Chiron and @M-be-free49 thank you all for your thoughts, it means a lot to me.
I completely understand, if they have a difficult time to process. I even understand, if they never accept it, if they do it in a gentle, respectful way. But saying such hurtful things is so senseless, itās painful to see, that my mother can do this to me.
But youāre right, @Chiron, only in a perfect world do parents love their children unconditionally, I have to accept, that in my case itās not the way it is.
@M-be-free49, thank you, I will reach out here if Iāll be triggered, actually last night was a bit tough, but I think, I can do this. I have been fighting with my motherās over-controlling and toxic behavior so long. I wonāt let her to be the one who commits the last stab.
Morning all. Im alright but not quite good. Alittle irritable this morning and im thinking about alcohol quite abit. I managed to do some weights this morning and looking forward to church in a few hours but I must admit im struggling alittle. Im hoping it will melt away later and I can enjoy my day. I had a really good day yesterday so im going to tru and remember how I felt then.
Hey all, sending you beautiful vibes and happy thoughts for another day clean and sober hitting day 79 clean today feeling great tbh also Iām 17 days smoke free yet another addiction Iāve shed. It feels good to take back control it really really doezā:heart:1 substance left and the toughest of all of them METHADONE 
so done with being controlled by a green liquid and chemist who give this shit out for 17 years at a time BULLSHIT these meds were always just meant to be a bridge between using herion and stabaluzing to getting clean, I get it is on me as well for staying on it I take on my part in it all but FUCK no encouragement or demands to come off it or questions of why Iāve been sat on a script for 17 fucking years. Albar a few stints in rehabā¦ Rant over I gave myself 12 months from the start of recovery to get down and off I started at 67 Iām now at 25ml I have 4 months left as I Tapering right the way down. Iāve considered going over to subutex but the more Iām in recovery and finding myself and having faith I feelthis may well be a shirty move FIRE AND FRYING PAN COME TO MINED. So il play it by ear. Love you all dearly and always respect the words of my fellow addictā:purple_heart:
Hey Iām similar to you too. I love to meet new ppl and like to talk for an hour or so. How long are you sober?
Day 11. So proud of myself. Flipped the switch - I do not need this, I feel better without it and why would I put something in my body that makes me feel sick. I went to birthdays, visited friends and even went out for dinner last night. Told everyone I didnāt want wine or that gin&tonic - want to stop drinking and to live healthier. To my happy surprise they reacted understanding and supportive.
Sometimes the little voice pops up but I wave it away. I am happy and have a new lifestyle.
Not counting the hours; looking at the clock if it is appropriate to drink; not ordering the next drink sooner than others and keep on pouring when everyone else is drinking coffee; can take the car everywhere and get stuff done in the morning. Even started working out again.
I feel free.
Nice work @Lhasaluv!
Day 62
Went to a professional development session, caught up with some kickass career ladies I really admire. Maybe at other times I would feel inferior, today I just enjoyed soaking up some motivation, but not feeling like I have to walk the exact same path. When I got home the kids had obviously missed me and were all cuddlesš.
