Maybe you could think like this: it’s not actually the old self you’re missing but the old coping mechanism. Might sound like splitting hairs but I find changing the point of view helpful.
Reading your posts it seems you’ve had a difficult time recently and many big changes. It’s ok to feel up and down but you still need to choose wisely what you think and do. Overhearing conversations… People will always have an opinion. You don’t need to take it to your heart. If you don’t want to discuss it with others you can always say politely something like “this is a difficult thing in life and I’d rather not talk about right now”.
I’m sorry things are drawn out bc of the house situation but such practicalities usually get sorted out.
Be graceful to yourself in this time of transition. It’s a lot but you can make it and it will come to an end. Take care and stay safe.
So amazing Ed!!! You truly are an inspiration. I hope you do something nice for yourself today. Thank you for being you and always showing love and support.
Thank you! Yes life is pretty hard right now. At times I’m very hard on myself because she treated me that way too.
Not giving our relationship the love and attention it needed. I don’t know how to recover from all of it. That scares me.
Over ten years ago I had a nasty breakup with my ex. I wish wish WISH I could have processed it sober, but I did not, and this exacerbated years of trauma and dealing with the emotions that I tried to cope with and numb by binge drinking to the point of blackout.
You are doing the right thing by processing this sober. The hurt and anger and grief and multitude of confusing emotions will heal, and you are on the right path, even if it seems difficult. We are here for you.
Thank you! I’m just doing everything that I didn’t do before because I know when I tried it on my own, it never worked. I’m so proud of you also sober twin!
Day 30 whatttttt??? I am super excited to go to the meeting today to get my 30 day key chain. I had the most fun going to Tennessee last night to hear the speaker speak. Sober fun with sober good hearted people is so rewarding. This man has been clean since 1986:clap: His testimony and story was beyond inspiring! This and everyone else in the fellowship gives me so much hope. I hope y’all are all doing great and have a fantastic sober Sunday!!! Much love to you ALL!
Maybe finding professional help to start with? Recovering is a process that won’t happen overnight nor with ticking to-do-lists. You need to work on yourself even with things that were done to you that seem unfair.
I hope this is not a slap in the face for you or for anyone reading. Forgiveness and letting go resentment. Yep. That’s the way to freedom and it’s not easy but definitely worth the struggle. Again, this is a process. Forgiving someone isn’t saying what they did was ok nor that it didn’t hurt you. It’s opening a prison door so you can walk out. Someone wise said that holding onto resentment and unforgiveness is like drinking poison yourself and hoping someone else would die from it.
I say these things with compassion and care for you, acknowledging it’s not an easy pill to take when you’re hurting and feel misstreated. I know that 1st hand. What you choose is up to you. All the best
Those are wise words. Yes I am looking in to the option of professional help.
The human side of me (somewhere deep in me) kind of hopes that my ex will one day realize and understand how she treated oue relationship and me.
That she’s to blame for this too.
Cause I can bet in her eyes I’m the one who left and I’m the one to blame for everything. Yes she’s that short minded.
It doesn’t really matter to me all that much but it’s just… it’s hard to explain. I don’t resent her for all the neglect and hurt she did to me. If I do that I’m even further away from becoming a better person I think.
Hi everyone. Well, I’ve made it to my hotel on Alonnisos, and so far so good.
The Greeks do like their booze, however, it’s EVERYWHERE.
Still, happy with my herbal tea…
It looks beautiful there; I just looked it up. Is it daytime there, are you going to visit the beaches? (beach girl here, lol) Take some pictures if you do!
Jenna, I wish you could see you the way I do; you are truly a beautiful person! It shows in your smile, your eyes, your caring soul. Don’t let the world make you feel like you aren’t; we all have flaws, but we are all so individual and unique. I’m not just saying this to make you feel better, I mean it!
I was/am the same way. My anxiety always gets the best of me and I’m always fine with making the plans but when it comes down to the day of I start freaking out. What you’re doing by offering another option from what the original plan was is a step in the right direction. I always say things like “up to you or no stress if not” so the original plan is still on the table if they don’t want to do the alternative. It takes practice and I totally get what you mean about lying and such in your head…I’m glad I’m not the only person who does this. I also tell myself leading up to it, that it will all be okay once we are hanging out. It’s the moments leading up to it that I dread. I hope my ramblings made a little sense! Lol
Day 107 clean and sober today. Feeling a little lost and sad. I think I need to start working sooner than I thought, structure is what helps me feel attached to the world. I hope everyone has a great day, love you guys!
His testimony and story was beyond inspiring! This and everyone else in the fellowship gives me so much hope. I hope y’all are all doing great and have a fantastic sober Sunday!!! Much love to you ALL!
