@Dragonflygirl82 Donāt be sorry for oversharing about Moose. Itās such a sad moment in your life right now and I feel like this type of thing can be a huge trigger. I know when my Zergling died, I was a mess for a long while. Iām so happy to hear it isnāt derailing your sobriety though. You are so strong! 
@M-be-free49 Itās so awesome to hear that having a drink isnāt the first thing that you think about when stress comes up. Youāre making such amazing progress! I know you posted that a day or so ago, but Iām catching up 
@Natnat I just wanted to say that youāre doing so amazingly well. I donāt always comment (because this thread is almost impossible for me to make that happen a lot of times), but I read your posts and Iāve just been rooting for you. I love that you recognize the bi-polar symptoms creeping up and that youāre trying to make sure youāre aware of what is going on with you. Keep it up and definitely go no contact with your ex. You donāt need that kind of crap in your life. You are a beautiful dove and youāre not in a cage any longer.
@Misokatsu 47 days! You are doing really well. That area between 45 and 90 is kind of this weird place to be, I think. It kind of plays tricks on your mind.
@Lisa07 I think itās great that youāre going to get coffee with the lady from your AA group. She once was at 1 year too and you will one day be at 31 years. You definitely will. Sure the other ladies at the ceremony might have had more time, but that doesnāt mean you havenāt worked just as hard. Besides, I kind of feel like the first year is probably the hardest.
I thought your husband stopped drinking. Am I remembering wrong or did I miss something? Sometimes I miss things because I canāt keep up on everything. Also wtf? He blames it on you because he didnāt get his shit in order??? 
@Mno Congrats on your five years! I can imagine thereās definitely a mix of feelings between being happy you quit smoking and the passing of your folks. Iām sure they would be really pleased with your decision. Also your cat is so adorable.
@Edmond You have done so great. Seriously. 3 years is so awesome. Congratulations.
@Jennajen I can sympathize completely. Itās so easy for us to see all of the things that we think are wrong with us. We are the best at seeing all the things other people generally donāt notice. You know, I used to be extremely overweight. I was a very large teenager and young adult, then I lost a lot of weight, but I still saw myself as fat. Itās only been in the more recent years of my life that Iāve seen myself somewhat close to how I actually am, and even now it can be a struggle not to spiral into the depths of depression over things that I donāt like about my body, face, nose, etc. But I think that with things like botox, or face lifts, or tummy tucks, etc., there can be an addiction factor because they donāt stay that way forever and then we need more, we want to fix this little thing and that. Itās like we are reaching for something that only exists on the screen of a photoshop window. I donāt have anything to say that I think will instantly make you feel better, but I just want you to know that youāre not alone in these things.
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thatās going to be me in a few daysā 
I havenāt been posting a day count because I have been trying to focus on each day individually. In the past when I counted days I always felt like I was racing to a certain amount or just counting down to a relapse. This is why I am trying something different this time. I am happy to be sober today. Wishing everyone a solid Monday 