It’s so nice to hear you have someone to take care of you. Headaches are the worst. I’ve had a terrible one behind one of my eyes for a few days. I think it’s the weather changing. Does that sound strange? Lol.
1 Like
Day 65 no smoking.
Today wasn’t that great. It was one of those day. Still happy that I can continue my journey.
11 Likes
I am definitely not at the same point of the sober journey, but I do share the same “fear” which I would call just a general thought that I have about sobriety. Focusing on “not drinking” was always rough for me and led to relapses because of the feeling of restriction. Now trying to focus on everything surrounding recovery, and what sobriety gives me. Good thing you keep your head up and put things in perspective … hope you have a good day,
4 Likes
Then you so much! 
I appreciate your kind words.
I really wish we could get closer. My dad once said that the relationships that you have with your siblings are the longest ones (maybe not in every case), so take care of those relationships and I think in his heart he would’ve wanted us to be closer. Like in sobriety, on day at a time. And yeah, prayer helps!
1 Like
My counter ticked to 50 days today. Yay!
So I’ve been quite many days without engaging in pmo. Looking back I was asking myself how that has affected my life.
To be honest… Not that much!!
My body and mind are mainly the same as for last 2 months. My mood has improved a bit since I’m not guilt tripping or ashamed of myself all the time. I do think a bit clearer but my insomnia plays a big part into that as well.
This didn’t surprise me since I’ve had longer periods without pmoing before, too. So why am I annoyed anyway?? What’s lurking in the shadows?
I’ve done a lot of looking into past in therapy which has been necessary. Yet, I realised that it’s the future that terrifies me. How is this recovery going to go? Will I learn self love and acceptance? Am I going to take this transformation journey seriously? Could there be a special Someone out there who would love me despite what I am? Figuring out answers as I go, I guess…
One thing I want to carve into stone so I don’t forget: I don’t want to grow old with these counterfeits. They’ve overstayed their welcome.
20 Likes
3 years 9 months 15 days sober. I haven’t been checking in regularly here. It’s good to see people making their milestones!!
18 Likes
Thanks.
It has certainly done a lot of good for me, at least in terms of being around people who share a common goal, socializing/sense of community, and being around positive people…which are the primary things I was looking to get out of it, so good there. Also helping me shift to a more positive and optimistic outlook, which I was desperate for.
So it is good for me, I think I just need to balance it more.
2 Likes
100% understand. I go to 1 meeting a week now. I basically was working and doing AA.
2 Likes
Great job on your 50 days. That’s terrific. I know it’s so fucking cliche to say but it really works for me. One lousy day at a time. I just can’t think about the future and how anything is going to be. I like to stick in the hope and the feeling good of today.
I hope you find some restful unanxious sleep tonight
2 Likes
Starting another day one. Feeling defeated because I’ve been here many times before but I guess there’s only one direction. 
6 Likes
i dont know – i’m not the one relapsing. will it come off bossy? idk.
1 Like
I think coming off bossy so that you can properly help people is deffo worth it 
Yoga… every morning at about 6.30 AM, without fail…
I had a motorcycle accident about 30 years ago, and I hurt my back (amongst other things), so I find that doing a bit of (very simple) yoga helps quite a bit.
I didn’t see the post by @anon79808082 about yoga, but I’m guessing from your response that it’s not for you !
1 Like
I took it down, I felt embarrassed a little I guess for suggesting it.🤷
2 Likes
Nothing wrong with yoga !!
I started doing it after reading a magazine article about Sting and yoga.
In any event, I find that it helps me… my back etc. is usually pretty stiff when I wake up in the morning, so a good stretch in various directions helps.
3 Likes
Weird day, was a bit agitated but managed to keep that in check.
Work is fine, I’m a team leader of a support team so can just ‘delegate’ if I didn’t want to look at something 
I’m joking, never leave anyone stuck and take a lot of the difficult stuff myself.
It’s evening time now and I have to go to the shop, smokes and sweets, so just tryi to get my lazy ass of the couch after dinner!
Can’t say today was one of the better days but it will always be bett than the alternative 
Thoughts of drinking are still lingering arou and then a friend that I haven seen in a while text me to ask me if I wanted to go for a few pints this weekend. Told him I was off the booze
Anywho, have a great evening/day/night
7 Likes
Hi all, I’m going to pack it in quite soon too.
A bit of disappointment today… I had hoped to take some good underwater video while here in Greece, but unfortunately, I’ve discovered that a miserable small but absolutely strategic wire has broken (between batteries and camera), which means that there’s no way to get power to the GoPro… bummer.
I’m sure that anyone reasonable competent in electronics and with the right (really small) tools would be able to fix it, but I doubt that I’ll be able to find anyone like that on this little island. Definite crap.
Still, what can you do ? It is what it is. I’ll just have to come back here !
Otherwise… the waiter at the restaurant again tried (without being pushy, mind you) to offer me a drink after dinner, and he seemed genuinely surprised when I told him that I would pass up a free drink !
Still, I’m happy to have passed it up.
Slowly creeping up on 50 days… another 2 days… getting there.
Goodnight everyone, have a safe and sober Tuesday.
11 Likes
Hi, I don’t know where in the world you are, but here in the UK they call it a ‘Stress Test’, where you are connected to an ECG machine whilst walking on a treadmill and gradually increasing the speed and incline, it might be worth trying to get one of these if it’s exercise that seems to trigger your symptoms.
it is a cliché bc it’s all any of us can do and I’ve spent years living by this rule of thumb, some success and a lot of failures. Most of us have to live like this bc the prospect of a life without our drug of choice is to much to comprehend but for the first time in my life I do have one eye on the future bc I’m not scared anymore, I can imagine a life with no alcohol and I like what I see. I still have a fear and that’s knowing I may never feel like this again if I pick up. It’s a miracle to me that my obsession has just vanished.
1 Like
Checking in with 18 complete days sober. A few hours into day 19 now. Things are not so great with not being able to walk on my foot injury as the walking was good for me mentally, but hopefully it will heal with the rest 
I have been having intermittent chest pains ever since I went to the hospital on Sunday night, trying not to worry too much because it’s likely something muscular or a nerve, but I have had heart conditions in the past so it’s always a worry that a new one is starting. I’m sad too because when my cat yawns I can see that his gums are still looking sore even after the surgery 13 days ago, and I just care so much about my cats it pains me to think they are suffering. He seems not too bad in himself and is still eating and drinking and wanting my attention, but after the £500 surgery bill earlier this month, I don’t have any money left for another vet visit, especially as my other cat needs grooming because he gets matted this time of year and that’s £100+ and booked for next week, so that makes me feel like a really sh*t person. My creditors are on my back about my debts since not being able to work this year, and I’m trying to sell my flat to resolve those issues but it’s been for sale since February so it feels like a never-ending nightmare. The last few nights I’ve had some very vivid substance related dreams, where everyone around me is using but I’m not, in it, there are people I love and care about who don’t use, using and it’s been really upsetting. I have a migraine and keep having hot sweats too, something’s not right but maybe there’s something about this stage of sobriety from Cocaine that the body and mind must adjust to. Tomorrow is a new day and I’m happy to be heading towards three full weeks sober. Sorry for a lot of negativity, it’s just how things are and how I feel right now. My recovery worker rang me today for the first time since mid-August, and she was so proud to hear I’ve got clean and says I’ve got a lot going on so it’s a real achievement but that I’m my own worst critic, I said I definitely am. I’ve got a couple of books about self-acceptance and self-compassion, I might give them a chance at some point soon. Thanks for reading if you got this far 
9 Likes